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Old 08-18-2010, 07:23 PM   #1 (permalink)
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What are your views on race in dating/relationship?

Firstly, I'll give you my situation and position on this subject. I call myself a first generation asian american. I was born in China, but moved to the states when I was 3. So I have zero accent and also consider myself to be quite white washed. I'm basically a banana.

Now I have a mild preference when it comes to race. I only perfer Caucasian and asian girls, but then again, where I'm from, its 96% Caucasian and 3% asian and 1% rest, so its not very diverse. So far in my life, I've dated 3 caucasian girls and 1 asian. I think that caucasian girls are more pretty in general, but asian girls will always have that close to home comfort. Also my confidence is different with each race. I feel more confident when I'm flirting with asian girls and less when with caucasian girls. Its mainly because I know where I stack up on the totem pope of looks in the asian looks, but not on the white looks. Also, you hear alot about white guys with asian girls, but rarely asian guys with white girls. So I'm pretty curious.

I really want to know everyone's stance on this subject. Would you date out of your race? and are there some races where you're attracted to more than others? Please state your race and what you think about these types of things. I want feedback from guys and girls.
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Old 08-18-2010, 07:55 PM   #2 (permalink)
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My current girlfriend is black, something which is unusual for me. I generally prefer whites and latinas; I'm not really into asian chicks. In the end, race is something that might factor into my decision to approach a female, but it has nothing to do with whether or not I stay with her.
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Old 08-18-2010, 08:13 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I'm Filipino, first generation in my family. I have always dated white girls. I think I dated 1 Filipina. I married a white girl and my sister married a white man. I have always had little to no interest in dating Asian girls.
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Old 08-18-2010, 08:49 PM   #4 (permalink)
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i have always found lighter skin girls attractive to me personally. it doesnt really matter that they are caucasian, or asian. or anything else for that matter.

in saying that she-lish is of lebanese descent, and lebanese girls are by far the best looking girls in the arab world.
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Old 08-18-2010, 09:42 PM   #5 (permalink)
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lebanese girls are by far the best looking girls in the arab world.
I second that.

FelixP hit it right on the head. I prefer Hispanic and white women, in that order. That's just for looks, of course. I've dated out of my race (I'm white, she was from Nicaragua), and will do so again.
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Old 08-19-2010, 12:21 AM   #6 (permalink)
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So it seems as though for all the guy responses, we really dont care all that much to the race; although there are the exceptions of some 'preferences' we have.

I'm curious to hear from any ladies out there as to your opinion on this matter.

I've always wanted to know about how people think about this topic, one of my previous relationships with a caucasian girl ended with her telling me she didnt find me at all attractive because I was asian. (why did she even bother getting into a relationship with me? idk)

I need some female input :P
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Old 08-19-2010, 01:19 AM   #7 (permalink)
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I don't know that I ever had strong preferences about race. I never dated many non-caucasians, but it wasn't from lack of trying. My only "preference" was that once I was looking to get serious-- dating people with looking for a wife in mind-- I stuck to Jewish girls. But that's not really race...if I'd ended up with a Jewish Indian girl or an Ethiopian Jew or a Yemenite or Iraqi Jew or whatever, that would have made zero difference to me.
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Old 08-19-2010, 04:42 AM   #8 (permalink)
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I think what matters more is your social network. On this forum the members are largely American and generally not conservative or traditional. That has a big impact on the answers to the OP's question. Also, anyone's specific views might not be their experience.

In my case, coming from a country where segregation was legislated, I do not have a preference but rather a curiosity. I've never been involved with a woman outside of my minority ethnic group - not by choice, but just due to social obstacles. So my curiosity would be towards caucasian, black, indian and asian women. I have no preference, but it is obvious that a relationship with a woman from my own ethnicity would be easier socially.
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Old 08-19-2010, 06:35 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Eh, I'm open to people doing what they want, but on a personal preference, I've never really been able to find too many girls outside of my race that attractive. If I do, it's usually due to some tattoo's or some outside fetish I may have. *shrug*
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Old 08-19-2010, 06:56 AM   #10 (permalink)
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I could care less about race. My view is that if I like the person then date them.
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Old 08-19-2010, 07:38 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Magpie_1 View Post
I could care less about race. My view is that if I like the person then date them.
Magpie summed up my feelings on the matter.

However, I live in Oregon, which is a very white state, so when I was dating around, my choices were fairly limited.
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Old 08-19-2010, 08:35 AM   #12 (permalink)
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I'm a white guy and I don't particularly care what color she is as long as she isn't Republican, vegan or a smoker. I've been through the endless buffet of white girls. I never had much success with black girls for some reason but it wasn't for a lack of trying. I dated a black Brazilian gymnast a handful of times and while she was absolutely smoking hot, she was way too flaky for me. The Korean girl I dated was awesome and I occasionally regret dumping her when I was in high school for a white girl who wasn't nearly as fun in bed.

...and skin color didn't determine any of the above any more than their favorite color.

Overall, I've "tasted the rainbow" (been with just about every race now) and somehow most of the time I've ended up with a different race/ethnicity/religion/politics combination for every go. It's new and amazing each time and impossible to say you prefer one type over the other because no two women are the same regardless of how much they have in common. Race plays such a small part in determining the habits and attitudes of a person.

Generally speaking I dislike white girls with blond hair (they are their own race). Somehow I ended up with one this time. Odd.
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Old 08-19-2010, 10:19 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Race isn't a consideration.

Language, education level, and cultural ties are among the many considerations. Some people equate these with race. I don't.
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Old 08-19-2010, 10:55 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Old 08-19-2010, 11:08 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Lived with a chinese woman for four years, and had a daughter with a black woman. I've dated latinas, white girls (majority), and african, and an arab.
I'm white, and I live in a VERY accepting and multicultural place (Montreal). there is a
huge amount of cross racial dating up here.
When the barriers are lifted, I think it comes down to just whoever attracts you, on
whatever level, you date (if the reverse is also true).
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Old 08-26-2010, 04:33 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Race has never played a part in who I find attractive. I've dated all types. If I had a preference I would say non-blonde.

Blondes don't appeal to me so much physically, but I would never rule out a female because of that.
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Old 08-26-2010, 09:26 PM   #17 (permalink)
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seems like guys really dont care. there needs to be more female responses.
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Old 08-26-2010, 09:30 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Oh snap.

I totally just pulled a Typical TFP and didn't answer the questions at the bottom of the OP. I've updated my response.

I figure others might do the same.
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Old 08-27-2010, 04:19 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cwazy1 View Post
seems like guys really dont care. there needs to be more female responses.
You're assuming that you know the sex of respondants. I can confirm for you that 21% of the participants, prior to this post, are in fact female. That's about average for TFP.

To the OP: meh, doesn't matter. Some of the hottest women I've ever known are also the biggest assholes. Hot does not equal someone I'd necessarily date. Who I find attractive and who I'd date are often exclusive of one another. Finding someone who's both attractive physically and mentally is the reason I got married.
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Old 08-27-2010, 06:59 AM   #20 (permalink)
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I'm attracted to many types ( races, etc. ) of women, but in general white chicks are the ones who seem to find me attractive. Being pretty introverted, I just take from the pool of the obvious. My younger brother is dating a black chick that's about 1/4 Cherokee, and I have no problem with her race.

I am mostly white Scotch/Irish, 1/16th Cherokee, and some possible, rumored recent African American. By recent, I mean in the last 100 years.
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Old 08-27-2010, 10:01 AM   #21 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amaras View Post
Lived with a chinese woman for four years, and had a daughter with a black woman. I've dated latinas, white girls (majority), and african, and an arab.
I'm white, and I live in a VERY accepting and multicultural place (Montreal). there is a
huge amount of cross racial dating up here.
When the barriers are lifted, I think it comes down to just whoever attracts you, on
whatever level, you date (if the reverse is also true).

almost identical situation for me. And I agree with your perspective. I am caucasian (of scot extract born in Canada) but met and eventually married a girl from university who is Canadian born Chinese. there have been no social issues here in toronto for us or our kids.

It is almost along the lines of if your preference is brunette, or blonde etc, that's what you get attracted to. The rest is personality and chemistry.
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Old 08-27-2010, 10:11 AM   #22 (permalink)
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I'm white, and I've dated Persian and Asian, and married Native American. Race was never a consideration, and it's always a little jarring to be reminded I'm in an 'interracial marriage'.
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Old 08-27-2010, 12:32 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Leto View Post
almost identical situation for me. And I agree with your perspective. I am caucasian (of scot extract born in Canada) but met and eventually married a girl from university who is Canadian born Chinese. there have been no social issues here in toronto or us or our kids.

It is almost along the lines of if your preference is brunette, or blonde etc, that's what you get attracted to. The rest is personality and chemistry.
Toronto is a whole different country, my friend!
Still, it's probably similar in this respect to Ma belle ville!
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Old 08-31-2010, 05:32 PM   #24 (permalink)
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I grew up in a white -with a few Natives- part of the country, so mostly dated white men/boys. I did date (when I was in college) an ethnically Korean boy from Oklahoma, but he had been adopted as an infant by a white couple and seemed to have absolutely no interest in the fact that he was Korean. He rode horses, loved bowling and country music, and even spoke with a little bit of a drawl.
As an adult I've dated whites (mostly), blacks, a Japanese, and a mixed race Brazilian. They were all interesting, intelligent, and fun to be with.
Like Snowy and Magpie_1, I would never exclude a man from a dating relationship based solely on race.
I do have a friend however, an Asian woman, who only will date blacks. We kid her about the lack of "diversity" in her relationships.

As far as basic attraction, I find white and black men attractive, and white and Asian women. With rare exceptions black women, Asian men, and Natives of either gender are just not attractive to me. I don't know why that is.
My current boyfriend is Nordic (like me) but only a fluke brought us together. I feel very comfortable with him, and wonder if there is somehow some undercurrent of cultural commonality that is beneath my threshold of perception.

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Old 08-31-2010, 06:07 PM   #25 (permalink)
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married Native American.
Dude, my eyes must be acting up. Your wife looks whiter than Martha Stewart in a wedding dress.
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Old 08-31-2010, 06:22 PM   #26 (permalink)
 
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Dude, you need erase some of your preconceived notions.

My Greek family members have widely ranging skin-tones.
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Old 08-31-2010, 06:29 PM   #27 (permalink)
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Dude, you need erase some of your preconceived notions.
Why? Because I'm black?
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Old 08-31-2010, 06:53 PM   #28 (permalink)
 
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Huh?

You mentioned that Telekinetic's native-american wife looked whiter than...
Was this an attempt at conveying the idea that it's difficult to asses a person's race by skin color alone?
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Old 08-31-2010, 06:59 PM   #29 (permalink)
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I need to stop talking. I've made like 50+ posts in the last day.
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Old 09-01-2010, 06:00 AM   #30 (permalink)
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The pool of active, outdoorsy women that were willing to date me was small enough without adding race into the criteria.
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Old 09-01-2010, 07:13 AM   #31 (permalink)
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active, outdoorsy women
These incredibly rare and highly desirable physically fit creatures are a race of their own.
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Old 09-01-2010, 07:24 AM   #32 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Plan9 View Post
These incredibly rare and highly desirable physically fit creatures are a race of their own.
Wait, I thought you've been to Canada before....



Now that I've posted in the thread, I should probably add my $0.02 (CAD):

There are attractive people of all races. That is my experience.

Also, Toronto is hella multicultural. There are all kinds of mixed marriages, mixed races, etc., going on. It's all good. We even have same sex marriage, so it's happening like you wouldn't believe.
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Old 09-01-2010, 07:25 AM   #33 (permalink)
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Baraka, we're talking about PEOPLE, not Canadians.
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Old 09-01-2010, 07:30 AM   #34 (permalink)
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I live in America, Baraka. Here in America men fight over the 1 in 10 (25?) women that can do a pullup and run 3+ miles without dying.
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Old 09-01-2010, 07:57 AM   #35 (permalink)
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Baraka, we're talking about PEOPLE, not Canadians.
RACIST! Kidding
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Old 09-01-2010, 08:30 AM   #36 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The_Jazz View Post
Baraka, we're talking about PEOPLE, not Canadians.
Fine. No Canadian, active, outdoorsy women for you!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Plan9 View Post
I live in America, Baraka. Here in America men fight over the 1 in 10 (25?) women that can do a pullup and run 3+ miles without dying.
There's plenty more where she came from. Start on the west coast.
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Old 09-01-2010, 08:39 AM   #37 (permalink)
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Oh, you're cruel.

Where was this information after my last breakup? Now I'm balls deep in the "playing house" game and can't afford to chase hot Canadian women.
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Old 09-01-2010, 08:52 AM   #38 (permalink)
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Oh, you're cruel.

Where was this information after my last breakup? Now I'm balls deep in the "playing house" game and can't afford to chase hot Canadian women.
You can't afford not to, at least once. I dated a 5'11" cyclist once, man, those legs DID NOT STOP!
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Old 09-01-2010, 09:08 AM   #39 (permalink)
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Oh, it's not like I'm settling for a typical American female couch slug. My current partner has quads that put mine to shame. I just dig the Canadian outdoorsy hotness.
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Old 09-01-2010, 09:27 PM   #40 (permalink)
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my mind has just been blown away. i didnt picture plan9 to be black. (not being racist in any way here)

but that chick mixed with that maz bomber foked bike is just *drooling*
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