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-   -   What are your views on race in dating/relationship? (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-life/155500-what-your-views-race-dating-relationship.html)

cwazy1 08-18-2010 07:23 PM

What are your views on race in dating/relationship?
 
Firstly, I'll give you my situation and position on this subject. I call myself a first generation asian american. I was born in China, but moved to the states when I was 3. So I have zero accent and also consider myself to be quite white washed. I'm basically a banana.

Now I have a mild preference when it comes to race. I only perfer Caucasian and asian girls, but then again, where I'm from, its 96% Caucasian and 3% asian and 1% rest, so its not very diverse. So far in my life, I've dated 3 caucasian girls and 1 asian. I think that caucasian girls are more pretty in general, but asian girls will always have that close to home comfort. Also my confidence is different with each race. I feel more confident when I'm flirting with asian girls and less when with caucasian girls. Its mainly because I know where I stack up on the totem pope of looks in the asian looks, but not on the white looks. Also, you hear alot about white guys with asian girls, but rarely asian guys with white girls. So I'm pretty curious.

I really want to know everyone's stance on this subject. Would you date out of your race? and are there some races where you're attracted to more than others? Please state your race and what you think about these types of things. I want feedback from guys and girls.

FelixP 08-18-2010 07:55 PM

My current girlfriend is black, something which is unusual for me. I generally prefer whites and latinas; I'm not really into asian chicks. In the end, race is something that might factor into my decision to approach a female, but it has nothing to do with whether or not I stay with her.

Cynthetiq 08-18-2010 08:13 PM

I'm Filipino, first generation in my family. I have always dated white girls. I think I dated 1 Filipina. I married a white girl and my sister married a white man. I have always had little to no interest in dating Asian girls.

dlish 08-18-2010 08:49 PM

i have always found lighter skin girls attractive to me personally. it doesnt really matter that they are caucasian, or asian. or anything else for that matter.

in saying that she-lish is of lebanese descent, and lebanese girls are by far the best looking girls in the arab world.

Pearl Trade 08-18-2010 09:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dlish (Post 2815755)
lebanese girls are by far the best looking girls in the arab world.

I second that.

FelixP hit it right on the head. I prefer Hispanic and white women, in that order. That's just for looks, of course. I've dated out of my race (I'm white, she was from Nicaragua), and will do so again.

cwazy1 08-19-2010 12:21 AM

So it seems as though for all the guy responses, we really dont care all that much to the race; although there are the exceptions of some 'preferences' we have.

I'm curious to hear from any ladies out there as to your opinion on this matter.

I've always wanted to know about how people think about this topic, one of my previous relationships with a caucasian girl ended with her telling me she didnt find me at all attractive because I was asian. (why did she even bother getting into a relationship with me? idk)

I need some female input :P

levite 08-19-2010 01:19 AM

I don't know that I ever had strong preferences about race. I never dated many non-caucasians, but it wasn't from lack of trying. My only "preference" was that once I was looking to get serious-- dating people with looking for a wife in mind-- I stuck to Jewish girls. But that's not really race...if I'd ended up with a Jewish Indian girl or an Ethiopian Jew or a Yemenite or Iraqi Jew or whatever, that would have made zero difference to me.

Vaultboy 08-19-2010 04:42 AM

I think what matters more is your social network. On this forum the members are largely American and generally not conservative or traditional. That has a big impact on the answers to the OP's question. Also, anyone's specific views might not be their experience.

In my case, coming from a country where segregation was legislated, I do not have a preference but rather a curiosity. I've never been involved with a woman outside of my minority ethnic group - not by choice, but just due to social obstacles. So my curiosity would be towards caucasian, black, indian and asian women. I have no preference, but it is obvious that a relationship with a woman from my own ethnicity would be easier socially.

Shauk 08-19-2010 06:35 AM

Eh, I'm open to people doing what they want, but on a personal preference, I've never really been able to find too many girls outside of my race that attractive. If I do, it's usually due to some tattoo's or some outside fetish I may have. *shrug*

Magpie_1 08-19-2010 06:56 AM

I could care less about race. My view is that if I like the person then date them.

snowy 08-19-2010 07:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Magpie_1 (Post 2815839)
I could care less about race. My view is that if I like the person then date them.

Magpie summed up my feelings on the matter.

However, I live in Oregon, which is a very white state, so when I was dating around, my choices were fairly limited.

Plan9 08-19-2010 08:35 AM

I'm a white guy and I don't particularly care what color she is as long as she isn't Republican, vegan or a smoker. I've been through the endless buffet of white girls. I never had much success with black girls for some reason but it wasn't for a lack of trying. I dated a black Brazilian gymnast a handful of times and while she was absolutely smoking hot, she was way too flaky for me. The Korean girl I dated was awesome and I occasionally regret dumping her when I was in high school for a white girl who wasn't nearly as fun in bed.

...and skin color didn't determine any of the above any more than their favorite color.

Overall, I've "tasted the rainbow" (been with just about every race now) and somehow most of the time I've ended up with a different race/ethnicity/religion/politics combination for every go. It's new and amazing each time and impossible to say you prefer one type over the other because no two women are the same regardless of how much they have in common. Race plays such a small part in determining the habits and attitudes of a person.

Generally speaking I dislike white girls with blond hair (they are their own race). Somehow I ended up with one this time. Odd.

genuinegirly 08-19-2010 10:19 AM

Race isn't a consideration.

Language, education level, and cultural ties are among the many considerations. Some people equate these with race. I don't.

Cimarron29414 08-19-2010 10:55 AM

My favorite colored boobs are the ones I'm groping.

Amaras 08-19-2010 11:08 AM

Lived with a chinese woman for four years, and had a daughter with a black woman. I've dated latinas, white girls (majority), and african, and an arab.
I'm white, and I live in a VERY accepting and multicultural place (Montreal). there is a
huge amount of cross racial dating up here.
When the barriers are lifted, I think it comes down to just whoever attracts you, on
whatever level, you date (if the reverse is also true).

Esco 08-26-2010 04:33 PM

Race has never played a part in who I find attractive. I've dated all types. If I had a preference I would say non-blonde.

Blondes don't appeal to me so much physically, but I would never rule out a female because of that.

cwazy1 08-26-2010 09:26 PM

seems like guys really dont care. there needs to be more female responses.

Plan9 08-26-2010 09:30 PM

Oh snap.

I totally just pulled a Typical TFP and didn't answer the questions at the bottom of the OP. I've updated my response.

I figure others might do the same.

The_Jazz 08-27-2010 04:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cwazy1 (Post 2817705)
seems like guys really dont care. there needs to be more female responses.

You're assuming that you know the sex of respondants. I can confirm for you that 21% of the participants, prior to this post, are in fact female. That's about average for TFP.

To the OP: meh, doesn't matter. Some of the hottest women I've ever known are also the biggest assholes. Hot does not equal someone I'd necessarily date. Who I find attractive and who I'd date are often exclusive of one another. Finding someone who's both attractive physically and mentally is the reason I got married.

Iliftrocks 08-27-2010 06:59 AM

I'm attracted to many types ( races, etc. ) of women, but in general white chicks are the ones who seem to find me attractive. Being pretty introverted, I just take from the pool of the obvious. My younger brother is dating a black chick that's about 1/4 Cherokee, and I have no problem with her race.

I am mostly white Scotch/Irish, 1/16th Cherokee, and some possible, rumored recent African American. By recent, I mean in the last 100 years.

Leto 08-27-2010 10:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amaras (Post 2815912)
Lived with a chinese woman for four years, and had a daughter with a black woman. I've dated latinas, white girls (majority), and african, and an arab.
I'm white, and I live in a VERY accepting and multicultural place (Montreal). there is a
huge amount of cross racial dating up here.
When the barriers are lifted, I think it comes down to just whoever attracts you, on
whatever level, you date (if the reverse is also true).


almost identical situation for me. And I agree with your perspective. I am caucasian (of scot extract born in Canada) but met and eventually married a girl from university who is Canadian born Chinese. there have been no social issues here in toronto for us or our kids.

It is almost along the lines of if your preference is brunette, or blonde etc, that's what you get attracted to. The rest is personality and chemistry.

telekinetic 08-27-2010 10:11 AM

I'm white, and I've dated Persian and Asian, and married Native American. Race was never a consideration, and it's always a little jarring to be reminded I'm in an 'interracial marriage'.

Amaras 08-27-2010 12:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leto (Post 2817821)
almost identical situation for me. And I agree with your perspective. I am caucasian (of scot extract born in Canada) but met and eventually married a girl from university who is Canadian born Chinese. there have been no social issues here in toronto or us or our kids.

It is almost along the lines of if your preference is brunette, or blonde etc, that's what you get attracted to. The rest is personality and chemistry.

Toronto is a whole different country, my friend!:orly:
Still, it's probably similar in this respect to Ma belle ville!

Lindy 08-31-2010 05:32 PM

I grew up in a white -with a few Natives- part of the country, so mostly dated white men/boys. I did date (when I was in college) an ethnically Korean boy from Oklahoma, but he had been adopted as an infant by a white couple and seemed to have absolutely no interest in the fact that he was Korean. He rode horses, loved bowling and country music, and even spoke with a little bit of a drawl.
As an adult I've dated whites (mostly), blacks, a Japanese, and a mixed race Brazilian. They were all interesting, intelligent, and fun to be with.
Like Snowy and Magpie_1, I would never exclude a man from a dating relationship based solely on race.
I do have a friend however, an Asian woman, who only will date blacks. We kid her about the lack of "diversity" in her relationships.

As far as basic attraction, I find white and black men attractive, and white and Asian women. With rare exceptions black women, Asian men, and Natives of either gender are just not attractive to me. I don't know why that is.
My current boyfriend is Nordic (like me) but only a fluke brought us together. I feel very comfortable with him, and wonder if there is somehow some undercurrent of cultural commonality that is beneath my threshold of perception.

Lindy

Plan9 08-31-2010 06:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by telekinetic (Post 2817823)
married Native American.

Dude, my eyes must be acting up. Your wife looks whiter than Martha Stewart in a wedding dress.

ring 08-31-2010 06:22 PM

Dude, you need erase some of your preconceived notions.

My Greek family members have widely ranging skin-tones.

Plan9 08-31-2010 06:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ring (Post 2819178)
Dude, you need erase some of your preconceived notions.

Why? Because I'm black?

ring 08-31-2010 06:53 PM

Huh?

You mentioned that Telekinetic's native-american wife looked whiter than...
Was this an attempt at conveying the idea that it's difficult to asses a person's race by skin color alone?

Plan9 08-31-2010 06:59 PM

I need to stop talking. I've made like 50+ posts in the last day.

StanT 09-01-2010 06:00 AM

The pool of active, outdoorsy women that were willing to date me was small enough without adding race into the criteria.

Plan9 09-01-2010 07:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StanT (Post 2819263)
active, outdoorsy women

These incredibly rare and highly desirable physically fit creatures are a race of their own.

Baraka_Guru 09-01-2010 07:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Plan9 (Post 2819281)
These incredibly rare and highly desirable physically fit creatures are a race of their own.

Wait, I thought you've been to Canada before.... :confused:



Now that I've posted in the thread, I should probably add my $0.02 (CAD):

There are attractive people of all races. That is my experience.

Also, Toronto is hella multicultural. There are all kinds of mixed marriages, mixed races, etc., going on. It's all good. We even have same sex marriage, so it's happening like you wouldn't believe.

The_Jazz 09-01-2010 07:25 AM

Baraka, we're talking about PEOPLE, not Canadians.

Plan9 09-01-2010 07:30 AM

I live in America, Baraka. Here in America men fight over the 1 in 10 (25?) women that can do a pullup and run 3+ miles without dying.

Amaras 09-01-2010 07:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Jazz (Post 2819286)
Baraka, we're talking about PEOPLE, not Canadians.

RACIST! Kidding:oogle:

Baraka_Guru 09-01-2010 08:30 AM

Darcy Turenne: Canadian, active, outdoorsy woman
 
Darcy Turenne - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u...ngstoneis1.jpg

http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u...6_78470012.jpg

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Jazz (Post 2819286)
Baraka, we're talking about PEOPLE, not Canadians.

Fine. No Canadian, active, outdoorsy women for you!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Plan9 (Post 2819289)
I live in America, Baraka. Here in America men fight over the 1 in 10 (25?) women that can do a pullup and run 3+ miles without dying.

There's plenty more where she came from. Start on the west coast.

Plan9 09-01-2010 08:39 AM

Oh, you're cruel.

Where was this information after my last breakup? Now I'm balls deep in the "playing house" game and can't afford to chase hot Canadian women.

Amaras 09-01-2010 08:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Plan9 (Post 2819303)
Oh, you're cruel.

Where was this information after my last breakup? Now I'm balls deep in the "playing house" game and can't afford to chase hot Canadian women.

You can't afford not to, at least once. I dated a 5'11" cyclist once, man, those legs DID NOT STOP!

Plan9 09-01-2010 09:08 AM

Oh, it's not like I'm settling for a typical American female couch slug. My current partner has quads that put mine to shame. I just dig the Canadian outdoorsy hotness.

cwazy1 09-01-2010 09:27 PM

my mind has just been blown away. i didnt picture plan9 to be black. (not being racist in any way here)

but that chick mixed with that maz bomber foked bike is just *drooling*


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