The 'do-more' feeling... - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

cierah · 04-29-2006, 04:04 PM

And no this isn't about sex. lol.
This is about that feeling that I randomly get in which I feel as though I should 'do-more'. That I should volunteer more, learn more, move, go back to school, learn something, take a class, read more, cook more, ect, ect. Basically it's a feeling of dissatisfaction with life. My feeling comes and goes and varies in strength and length. Basically I was wondering if anyone else has the 'do more' feeling and if so, how they deal with it. Thanks.

abaya · 04-29-2006, 04:17 PM

It's funny, actually, because many of your "do more's" involve schooling... and for me, I'm a full-time PhD student and I still constantly feel like I should be "doing more" (especially with my schoolwork; it's neverending).

In my case, since school is my whole life, I wish I could just do less, live more... enjoy my nights and weekends by relaxing with loved ones, having a pet, reading non-academic books. Basically just "being" me, which I don't often have time to do with my crazy academic schedule.

I suppose it's an issue of the grass always being greener... some of my friends think it's admirable that I'm "doing so much" with school, but I always envy them for having more balanced, relaxed lives because they are just working and living normally.

But I think your desires to do more are good... they keep you striving for more, wanting to be more active and make changes in your life to keep you satisfied. What is holding you back from making these things happen?

amire · 04-29-2006, 04:21 PM

First of all, I think that you'll find that a large number of people get the "do more" feeling. We hear about others who are accomplishing a lot with their time and feel that we're worse than them if we don't to something similarly constructive. It's very natural, and you're not the first one to feel it.

There are two responses I can see to this. Either learn to be content with your current state, or actually DO something!

I know many people who are quite content with doing a small number of things and living a peaceful, quiet life. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, as long as they're not freeloading. There's no rule that dictates that extremely active people somehow live better lives or are inherently better people if they do these things, so I don't think it's mandatory to constantly be busy with activity or stimulation.

On the other hand, you CAN do something more if you want. Don't sit around moping about your inaction...go DO something. It doesn't get any simpler than that. The hardest part for me is always starting. Finding a cooking class, getting started on a good book, etc. is the toughest part of being productive. The rest follows a good start.

visotech · 04-29-2006, 04:46 PM

As a fulltime engineering student I often feel "do more but do less"...meaning back off school a bit and enjoy life, family, friends, and being social. I guess it goes to show that everyone is looking for something more in life

Cynthetiq · 04-29-2006, 08:37 PM

Quote:

Rule Six - "There" is no better than "here". The other side of the hill may be greener than your own, but being there is not the key to endless happiness. Be grateful for and enjoy what you have, and where you are on your journey. Appreciate the abundance of what's good in your life, rather than measure and amass things that do not actually lead to happiness. Living in the present helps you attain peace.

sure, I feel that I should do more all the time, from do more drinking, drugs, partying, work, travelling, visiting...

what's more important than anything is being able to be satisfied with the moment. There will always be another "there."

savvypup · 04-29-2006, 08:37 PM

Have this feeling all the time. My plate is plenty full, but I think because there's always something that needs to be done, or that I want to do, but lack time, I feel guilty when I have to add it to the neverending list. If you can, hammer away at your list one thing at a time. You'll see the progress then and it won't feel like you're chasing your tail.

But remember to take time out too. You can't burn the candle at both ends and the occasional veging out is sometimes the best thing.

Rodney · 04-29-2006, 09:23 PM

I think that the "do more" feeling is actually destructive. It gives you no down time in peace, and you _need_ downtime. Drawing on the same theme as Cynthetique: if you spend too much time thinking about where you should be, you never actually know where you are now and what you've got now. You miss the moments. And in the end, the moments are all we've got. (Stole that quote from Babylon 5 :-).

How about spending your time trying to do things that satisfy you -- then learning new things as necessary to increase your ability to do those satisfying things? Rather than spend time making dour and drab lists of the things you "ought" to do?

04-29-2006, 04:04 PM	#1 (permalink)
cierah Crazy Location: Canada	The 'do-more' feeling... And no this isn't about sex. lol. This is about that feeling that I randomly get in which I feel as though I should 'do-more'. That I should volunteer more, learn more, move, go back to school, learn something, take a class, read more, cook more, ect, ect. Basically it's a feeling of dissatisfaction with life. My feeling comes and goes and varies in strength and length. Basically I was wondering if anyone else has the 'do more' feeling and if so, how they deal with it. Thanks. __________________ "You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories" -Stainslaw J. Lec

04-29-2006, 04:17 PM	#2 (permalink)
abaya Location: Iceland	It's funny, actually, because many of your "do more's" involve schooling... and for me, I'm a full-time PhD student and I still constantly feel like I should be "doing more" (especially with my schoolwork; it's neverending). In my case, since school is my whole life, I wish I could just do less, live more... enjoy my nights and weekends by relaxing with loved ones, having a pet, reading non-academic books. Basically just "being" me, which I don't often have time to do with my crazy academic schedule. I suppose it's an issue of the grass always being greener... some of my friends think it's admirable that I'm "doing so much" with school, but I always envy them for having more balanced, relaxed lives because they are just working and living normally. But I think your desires to do more are good... they keep you striving for more, wanting to be more active and make changes in your life to keep you satisfied. What is holding you back from making these things happen? __________________ And think not you can direct the course of Love; for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. --Khalil Gibran

04-29-2006, 08:37 PM	#6 (permalink)
savvypup Crazy Location: Want to run away? Follow the light	Have this feeling all the time. My plate is plenty full, but I think because there's always something that needs to be done, or that I want to do, but lack time, I feel guilty when I have to add it to the neverending list. If you can, hammer away at your list one thing at a time. You'll see the progress then and it won't feel like you're chasing your tail. But remember to take time out too. You can't burn the candle at both ends and the occasional veging out is sometimes the best thing. __________________ ciao bella!

04-29-2006, 04:21 PM	#3 (permalink)
amire Crazy	First of all, I think that you'll find that a large number of people get the "do more" feeling. We hear about others who are accomplishing a lot with their time and feel that we're worse than them if we don't to something similarly constructive. It's very natural, and you're not the first one to feel it. There are two responses I can see to this. Either learn to be content with your current state, or actually DO something! I know many people who are quite content with doing a small number of things and living a peaceful, quiet life. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, as long as they're not freeloading. There's no rule that dictates that extremely active people somehow live better lives or are inherently better people if they do these things, so I don't think it's mandatory to constantly be busy with activity or stimulation. On the other hand, you CAN do something more if you want. Don't sit around moping about your inaction...go DO something. It doesn't get any simpler than that. The hardest part for me is always starting. Finding a cooking class, getting started on a good book, etc. is the toughest part of being productive. The rest follows a good start.

04-29-2006, 04:46 PM	#4 (permalink)
visotech Insane Location: San Diego, CA	As a fulltime engineering student I often feel "do more but do less"...meaning back off school a bit and enjoy life, family, friends, and being social. I guess it goes to show that everyone is looking for something more in life

04-29-2006, 09:23 PM	#7 (permalink)
Rodney Observant Ruminant Location: Rich Wannabe Hippie Town	I think that the "do more" feeling is actually destructive. It gives you no down time in peace, and you _need_ downtime. Drawing on the same theme as Cynthetique: if you spend too much time thinking about where you should be, you never actually know where you are now and what you've got now. You miss the moments. And in the end, the moments are all we've got. (Stole that quote from Babylon 5 :-). How about spending your time trying to do things that satisfy you -- then learning new things as necessary to increase your ability to do those satisfying things? Rather than spend time making dour and drab lists of the things you "ought" to do?