Sultana

I've been trying to figure out the elements of a great party. I enjoy throwing them, and do so about 2-3 times a year. At least one is a themed party, which I really enjoy doing. I also go to several others' parties through out the year.

I'd say the most important thing is making sure you have a good mix of people, who contribute to the party, instead of sitting/standing around waiting to be entertained. I find that its usually the same 8-ish people who attend my parties out of the 16 or so I will invite. They're *fantastic* people, and we're all really good friends, but why is it so hard to get people who aren't best of friends to actually go to someone else's house for food and fun? I think it has something to do with the fact that we all are married, and have no kids...single people aren't too hard to get involved, but they don't tend to get into it unless there are other single people there. Married's with kids...I dunno, I haven't been able to remain good friends with them, not because of disagreements, but we just tend to drift apart. I think that's a topic for another thread though.

Another factor important to me is great music. I love to to dance, and being able to dance is a huge part of how much I'll enjoy many parties. Unfortunately I can't provide a decent dance space at my house, but at least I make sure there's upbeat, movable music playing, and more than once folks have spontaneously started gettin' their (dance) groove on where ever it hits.

Of course good munchies and drinks help everything move along as well.

But all that is fairly basic. What all do you guys like to do at your parties? What were elements of parties you've attended that you thought were standout? Are games outré? Icrbreakers? Should I have, like, a goal or something? Sounds kinda wierd, but hey...

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"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath.
At night, the ice weasels come." -

Matt Groening

My goal? To fulfill my potential.

ratbastid

My friends and I have discovered that alcohol is an excellent social lubricant. It's not for everyone, of course...

Ustwo

Nudity and sexual openess, but I've become quite jadded as to what makes a party in my old age.

After you have been to such parties, all other parties seem down right mundane.

But unless you are into those kinda parties....(and if you are PM me and I can help )

Single people go to parties to get laid or meet people to get laid by later.
Married people will go to catch up with friends and just chat, which is far more boring unless you are already friends with the people involved, and that might be your problem. It seems like after a point, your friends are 'set', and if you start hanging out with new people you get interrogated about it. 'Oh where did you meet them' 'How did you get to know them?' etc.

I can't say I've been at a good 'normal' party that was a lot of fun since I was single.

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Zeraph

As you mentioned it's almost all in the people. Not directed at you, but I've never gotten why people don't seem to understand that. Someone will make some comment about have a blast going to ____. Whether it's a party or a party like place, for instance this woman yesterday mentioned going to vegas over night and having a blast there. I asked her what she did, thinking maybe she found something fun, but it turns out she didn't see any shows, and no gambling, all they did was go out to eat, stay at a friends house, and drive back. Clearly the fun was the fact she was with her friends, yet she attributes it to the place. I've never understood why people do that.

abaya

Quality of music is key for dancing and ambience. I don't like parties unless I get to dance. Arrangement of space for dancing and socializing is also important... to not have people hiding in the corners and sides of the room, the spatial arrangement (furniture, etc) must invite them to sit down, have a drink, or stand all over the room and get to know new people instead of huddling.

I'd say lighting is also key.. keeping it low enough to be intimate, but not too low so that it feels like a seedy bar. I like putting up a string of lights or two (often just one color), and lighting several candles around the room. Groups of white tealights do wonder to create an intimate setting.

Yeah, I'm afraid parties just aren't what they used to be, now that I've been in a steady relationship. But I'm not complaining... I enjoy retaining my memory of nights out and not getting shit-faced anymore. As a couple we almost always attend parties with a good mix of both couples and singles, which I think enhances the social aspect of the party. Personally though, I don't enjoy going to parties where I only know maybe one or two people. It helps when I have a good foundation of people from which to go forth and meet others.

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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Sultana

Huh, that's a good point. Lighting does go far to create atmosphere, therefore it really needs to be different from regular, everyday illumination.
Thanks!

__________________
"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath.
At night, the ice weasels come." -

Matt Groening

My goal? To fulfill my potential.

Sultana

But wouldn't you say that, on a basic level, that correlates to the mix of people again? I mean, I'm assuming you all know what you're in for at those kinds of parties, but still you have to have the right mix of folks to make it fun/exciting...yes?

__________________
"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath.
At night, the ice weasels come." -

Matt Groening

My goal? To fulfill my potential.

krwlz

It may sound crazy, but the best parties ive been to have been on or near full moons. In addition, and it may just be that I'm 20... But alcohol, good music, somewhere to party and an invite to some of my more outgoing rambuncous friends makes for a great party almost without exception...

Mostly I think there has to be something to do. hence... Beer Pong! Keep the guests interested, and active, and they will be much more entertained.

Just $.02 from a college kid...

Ustwo

Of course, but its a somewhat different criteria than a normal party. For this kind of party you need like ages, like mindsets, and people who are generally attracted to each other. Its harder to get the right 'mix' and there are degrees. Plus this can range from naked hot tubbing to a full blown orgy.

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Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

maleficent

pretty much any party i'm not at is a great party...

a great party is where the attendees of the party are comfortable... and are able to enjoy themselves... No matter what the event happens to be... A good host makes sure that their guests are comfortable.

Over the years, i've watched my party animal parents at their own parties and at other people's parties. They are excellent hosts. They take the time to greet each guest. Bartender dad, makes sure that they have a drink in their hand, they will introduce them to other people, if they see someone being quiet, they will do what they can to engage that person... (I don't have those skills)

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Ustwo

I've always called that 'Being the mayor' and thats a great point maleficent. I like the skills/desire for that as well, but a good party always starts with a 'good' host.

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Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

Rodney

Some of the best parties I've been to had some kind of theme that engaged everybody -- gave them something to talk about among themselves even if they didn't know each other.

At one party, everybody was supposed to dress up so they could be photographed just how they wished, in whatever pose they wished. There were some pretty _interesting_ poses and costumes. There was a follow-up party a month later where everybody got to see _all_ the contact sheets and order a print of whatever they wanted, if they wanted. And it didn't have to be their photos. I still have some of those! (This wasn't a money-making thing, either. All the prints were at cost, at whatever size they wanted, big or small.)

I went to another one where there was provided an endless supply of long skinny baloons, the type used for balloon animals and other creations -- plus a tank of compressed air. Everybody got a couple of quick lessons in twisting and was encouraged to make their own balloon costume for the evening. That, too, was pretty cool.

In both cases, you ended up conversing with a lot of people you'd never otherwise think to chat up. Because the group project gave you mutually things to admire and compare.

raeanna74

One thing that seems to bring out the parents to parties much easier is providing a sitter.

We've been to a number of parties where one of the partygoers donates their home for babysitting. Provide about 1 teen or adult for every 3 children that come. You can ask the parents to let you know ahead of time so that you know how many to prepare for. If they know that babysitting is provided it will bring a LOT more parents. Money issues prevent parents from hiring a sitter for themselves. Time restraints, the hassles of FINDing a sitter for that night, and other logistics that can make it hard for them to plan. Also if you are wanting people who are parents to come then you gotta let them know at LEAST a week in advance. Some parents even plan for parties and such a month in advance.

We have had a number of parties at our place. We don't drink a lot but we always provide a lot of soda and snacks and tell those invited that it's BYOB since everyone has different tastes. Sometimes we'll provide some mixed drinks but otherwise not a lot of alcohol.

We always have fun at our parties.

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"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

Sultana

I did try that once, some time ago, but none of the parents wanted to use the sitter because they didn't know her (my sister). They each wanted to use a sitter they already knew and trusted, and while I can't find fault in that, it made it impossible to provide that option.
Maybe I can ask about their established sitters, see if that person would be available, and tell the other parents that at least the one couple uses that sitters regularly...

__________________
"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath.
At night, the ice weasels come." -

Matt Groening

My goal? To fulfill my potential.

raeanna74

Drill the parents on what would bring them out, what kind of sitter they're prefer, how much advance notice they need etc. It nothing else it would give you a better idea of the logistics they go through to do anything outside of family. It would be nice if more people were as thoughful of the partygoers as you seem.

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"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

Glory's Sun

Strippers.. check
Tons of vodka.. check

I'm happy


I think a party is made or broken by the hosts attitude. If the host is just running around making sure everyone is having a good time.. it gets a bit annoying. The host has to set the comfortability level.

raeanna74

This is true. I'm sure you're not trying to throw a party like we usually host but I've seen that when I'm just taking care of logistics and chatting it's a lot quieter and ends earlier than if I am going off with people to get busy with.

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"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

Sultana

Good point, there.

__________________
"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath.
At night, the ice weasels come." -

Matt Groening

My goal? To fulfill my potential.

Toaster126

I believe that the best indicator of a party's success is what kind of people you invite. Happy and fun people have fun wherever they go. You just need to invite people like that, and it sort of takes care of itself.

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"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand)
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)

oberon

Yeah Toaster, I know you're a fun-loving happy-go-luck guy!

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Jinn

In my mind, music accounts for at LEAST 50% of the success of a party. And not even because it provokes some to dance--

In the absense of something like alcohol to make all the party-goers chat, there's an awful lot of silence. Even for extreme extroverts, having to talk constantly to avoid awkward silences is very tiring. Without music, you'll have the extroverts talking like crazy and trying to inspire the group, and the introverts sitting in silence. With some sort of background noise, any lull in the conversation is not an immediately awkward situation. The noise provides comfort to everyone, introvert or extrovert alike. I've seen more parties than I can count go from "oh shit man we just walked into a church" to naked debauchery and related activities simply be adding some music to quell the awkwardness. Likewise, I've seen parties with music and no booze fare much better than non musical parties with tons of booze. The latter turns into a drinking contest, with very little active conversation.

And yes, I think there's a lot to do with the status of the person when you're planning a party. The reason most single and young people go to parties is to meet NEW people, whereas the reason old or taken people go to parties to enjoy the company of those they already know. Meeting new people is a rather unnecessary task for most people once they've established a circle of friends, significant other, and life. If you truly want a larger party, single people are the most surefire way to do it.

Another big factor (for me, at least) to the sucess of the party is the seating/standing room. If 10 people come in and there's no chairs for those 10 people, they're not going to stand around long. They'll leave your party, which not only sucks for them and you, but it has a chilling effect on anyone who saw them leave. Give them places where they can sit and still talk / watch the more active people in the room.

The third factor for me is arrival time. Set it up so that your guests are all arriving within about an hour of each other, unless you're expecting quite a few (50+). For the people who arrive early, it's going to be awkward without anyone to talk to. For people to arrive late, they'll feel as if they're not part of the "crowd" because the early-comers are already into their games or whatever they happen to be doing. I've arrived many parties half way through and everyone is either way more drunk than I, or so involved in their activities that newcomers are nearly ignored.

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MSD

At my age with my group of friends, it's easy. Here's what you need:

A place to hold the party
two sawhorses
one piece of plywood
one big pack of Solo cups
ping pong balls
two or three cases or one keg of light beer (gross, but effective,) two to three bottles of liquor, 30 pounds of ice, couple gallons of fruit juice, flat of red bull (assuming 20 people)
boombox (or better, if available)

optional:
ping pong table
pool table
big TV, consoles and party games like Smash Brothers, Goldeneye, etc. DDR, Donkey Conga and Guitar Hero are awesome while drunk.


Of course, some of us like a little more class, and put a new twist on the old-style college parties, holding black tie formal parties. If we want to get really snobby and high-class, a non-driker who owes the host a favor or is desparate to be accepted may be posted at the sidewalk for the first half hour or so to provide valet parking. The highest quality hors d'oeuvres that can be bought at BJ's or Costco and baked, fried, or microwaved to perfection are served by the host and his friends periodically throughout the night. As formal social events, blasting top 40 hip-hop is unnecessary as the conversation is the main source of entertainment. Alcohol, however, is a constant, with respectable liquors and wines of reasonable quality and price served at a real bar, and the tradition of driking games is maintained by my faux-high-class adatpation of a classic, champagne pong (cheap bubbly, old-style wide-mouthed champagne glasses rather than flutes.)

jizzmasterp

The best parties I have been to had the following:
Big Parties (50+ ppl):
-Lots of booze. Variety is important.
-Music played at a very reasonable volume. If I have to exert any effor tto talk over the music I get annoyed.
-Busy, but not crowded to the point where you cannot move.
-Good mix of guys and girls.
-Not too many couples (it sucks being one of the few single people at a party)
-No trouble makers. Some people just can't behave.

Small Parties:
-Friends are key. Whether it is a 20 person party or a 50 person party, most people should know each other or have some sort of connection.
-BYOB is fine, but if you want to provide booze, variety is important.
-As odd as this sounds, keep sitting and standing areas somewhat seperate. I'd prefer to have no table/chairs than 3-4 chairs at a small table. It is awkward to talk to people when you are standing and they are sitting, and vice-versa.
-Music is good. At smaller parties its usually best to let the guests pick music from your collection or from any CD's they brought.
-Chilling outside on a patio is great during decent weather.
-Couches for drivers to sleep on if they drink.

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savvypup

A good social mix ........ I hate being at parties where everyone is in their little clicky groups.

Oh yeah, and vodka jellies!!!

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ciao bella!

asaris

With music, I've found it works well (assuming you have room to dance) to keep it pretty low key for a while, and then later in the night, crank it up a bit to get people to dance.

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"Die Deutschen meinen, daß die Kraft sich in Härte und Grausamkeit offenbaren müsse, sie unterwerfen sich dann gerne und mit Bewunderung:[...]. Daß es Kraft giebt in der Milde und Stille, das glauben sie nicht leicht."

"The Germans believe that power must reveal itself in hardness and cruelty and then submit themselves gladly and with admiration[...]. They do not believe readily that there is power in meekness and calm."

-- Friedrich Nietzsche

Toaster126

And all the parties I go to are fun, lol.

I also second the music suggestion: Subtle at first, then as things progress, crank it.

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"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand)
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)

shyr_15

great music. its the first thing to prepare in throwing a party. the right crowd, endless drinks and food would contribute to a great party!

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Plaid13

for a really good party you need something that everyone will remember and talk about for years to come. my personal fav is when someone panics and pukes on a cop even though noone was really doing anything wrong. sure at the time it sucks but thats something you can bring up for years. hey remember that time you puked on that cop? hehe