Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Interests > Tilted Humor


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 09-16-2004, 04:22 AM   #1 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Jack Handey Quote of the Day 9-16-04

More, from "Fuzzy Memories"

When I went for my first job interview, I guess I was pretty confident, because I told the guy who was interviewing me he was fired. I didn't get the job, but that isn't what bothered me. What bothered me was I found out a few months later that that guy was still working there. Hey, man, I fired you!

----

I think the things you remember most are the little things, like that little space guy I kept tied up down in the basement. That little guy was only about five inches tall! He used to beg me to untie his rope, but I knew he'd just run away if I did. I think the cat finally got him. But the cat had little burn marks on him, from where the space guy shot him with his little gun, before his ammo ran out.
I remember things like that.

(One more, you lucky dogs)

I'll never forget the time we were at the beach and we buried Uncle Joe in the sand. Boy, did we get in trouble! In fact, we got arrested. It turns out you can't bury people at the beach. Only at the cemetery.
yster is offline  
Old 09-16-2004, 05:19 AM   #2 (permalink)
I and I
 
Location: Stillwater, OK
Hilarious stuff, thanks!
Gortexfogg is offline  
Old 09-16-2004, 05:30 AM   #3 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: I think my horns are coming out
Uhm, I don't get it.. ? :?
The Phenomenon is offline  
Old 09-16-2004, 11:50 AM   #4 (permalink)
<Insert wise statement here>
 
MageB420666's Avatar
 
Location: Hell if I know
Don't get what?
__________________
Apathy: The best outlook this side of I don't give a damn.
MageB420666 is offline  
Old 09-16-2004, 01:02 PM   #5 (permalink)
Crazy
 
carrot glace's Avatar
 
Location: orange county
the last one was the funniest
__________________
"blaine is a pain and that is the truth"
carrot glace is offline  
Old 09-19-2004, 01:17 AM   #6 (permalink)
Comment or else!!
 
KellyC's Avatar
 
Location: Home sweet home
indeed, laughed my ass off at the last one
__________________
Him: Ok, I have to ask, what do you believe?
Me: Shit happens.
KellyC is offline  
Old 09-19-2004, 05:56 AM   #7 (permalink)
The Pusher
 
Rlyss's Avatar
 
Location: Edinburgh
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Phenomenon
Uhm, I don't get it.. ? :?
Nothing to get! Hack Handey's famous for his funny quotes. They begin with a nice first line, and you think it will be a nice, witty, intelligent, romantic, or thought-provoking saying. But the quote ends up as nonsense, or just such a crazy, unexpected twist that you can't help but laughing.

My favorite quote of this type was said by Matt Groening (a creator on the Simpsons, and Futurama I think):

"Love is like a snowmobile racing across the tundra, and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night the ice weasels come."
Rlyss is offline  
Old 09-19-2004, 01:41 PM   #8 (permalink)
Curious
 
Shpoop's Avatar
 
Location: NJ (but just for college)
no way, the first one was the best! so good!
Shpoop is offline  
Old 09-19-2004, 05:51 PM   #9 (permalink)
Registered User
 
saut's Avatar
 
Location: Pittsburgh
Laughing my ass off at the ice weasels.
saut is offline  
 

Tags
day, handey, jack

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 05:36 PM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360