Jack Handey Quote of the Day 9-16-04
 

More, from "Fuzzy Memories"

When I went for my first job interview, I guess I was pretty confident, because I told the guy who was interviewing me he was fired. I didn't get the job, but that isn't what bothered me. What bothered me was I found out a few months later that that guy was still working there. Hey, man, I fired you!

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I think the things you remember most are the little things, like that little space guy I kept tied up down in the basement. That little guy was only about five inches tall! He used to beg me to untie his rope, but I knew he'd just run away if I did. I think the cat finally got him. But the cat had little burn marks on him, from where the space guy shot him with his little gun, before his ammo ran out.
I remember things like that.

(One more, you lucky dogs)

I'll never forget the time we were at the beach and we buried Uncle Joe in the sand. Boy, did we get in trouble! In fact, we got arrested. It turns out you can't bury people at the beach. Only at the cemetery.

Hilarious stuff, thanks!

Uhm, I don't get it.. ? :?

Don't get what?

the last one was the funniest

indeed, laughed my ass off at the last one :lol: :thumbsup:

Nothing to get! Hack Handey's famous for his funny quotes. They begin with a nice first line, and you think it will be a nice, witty, intelligent, romantic, or thought-provoking saying. But the quote ends up as nonsense, or just such a crazy, unexpected twist that you can't help but laughing.

My favorite quote of this type was said by Matt Groening (a creator on the Simpsons, and Futurama I think):

"Love is like a snowmobile racing across the tundra, and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night the ice weasels come."

no way, the first one was the best! so good!

Laughing my ass off at the ice weasels.