Always a good time for Quickies. - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Glad-I-Ate-Her · 06-12-2003, 06:29 PM

Q: What's a proctologist?
A: A crack investigator.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two clergymen were discussing the decline in morals in the modern world. "I didn't sleep with my wife before I was married," said one clergyman self-righteously, "Did you?"

"I don't know," said the other. "What was her maiden name?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Grandpa's advice:
"Don't marry a woman with big hands. It'll makes your dick look smaller."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q: What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?
A: A quarter-pounder with cheese.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q: Did you hear about the lesbian who wanted to diversify her business interests?
A: She eventually had a finger in everybody's pie!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q: Why was the nearsighted fly starving?
A: He couldn't see shit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sam comes home very late, and very drunk, and his wife is waiting for him at the door. She says, "You've been out fucking around, haven't you?"

He says, "Nope."

She says, "Then explain the lipstick on your shirt."

He says, "That's easy. I used my shirt to wipe off my dick."

Glad

txgirl · 06-12-2003, 08:03 PM

Those were good!

grumpyolddude · 06-12-2003, 08:29 PM

Grandpa was a smart man!

Destrox · 06-13-2003, 05:16 AM

All good stuff, thanks

Junchbailey · 06-13-2003, 06:39 PM

Haha, that last one is great.

bravo49 · 06-16-2003, 02:23 AM

The lipstick one creased me

bongobong · 06-17-2003, 03:21 AM

Q: Why do women get their belly buttons pierced?
A: Where else would they hang the air freshener?

Q: What do lesbians do after an argument?
A: They go home and lick each others wounds.

Q: If I had a rooster, and you had a donkey, and your donkey ate my rooster's legs...what would you have?

A: Two feet of my cock in your ass.

So a dyslexic walks into a bra . . .

rmarshall · 06-17-2003, 07:18 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by bongobong
Q: If you had a rooster, and I had a donkey, and my donkey ate your rooster's legs...what would I have?

A: Two feet of my cock in your ass.

Makes more sense this way.

DarkerFire · 06-17-2003, 07:47 AM

Still funny

The Darker Fire Within

petergriffin24 · 06-17-2003, 09:33 AM

good stuff in those posts

Glad-I-Ate-Her · 06-19-2003, 08:06 PM

bongobong,
good follow up!

glad

Meridae'n · 06-19-2003, 11:04 PM

last one was gold!

06-12-2003, 06:29 PM	#1 (permalink)
Glad-I-Ate-Her Junkie Location: 1 mile from Ground Zero	Always a good time for Quickies. Q: What's a proctologist? A: A crack investigator. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Two clergymen were discussing the decline in morals in the modern world. "I didn't sleep with my wife before I was married," said one clergyman self-righteously, "Did you?" "I don't know," said the other. "What was her maiden name?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Grandpa's advice: "Don't marry a woman with big hands. It'll makes your dick look smaller." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q: What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A: A quarter-pounder with cheese. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q: Did you hear about the lesbian who wanted to diversify her business interests? A: She eventually had a finger in everybody's pie! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q: Why was the nearsighted fly starving? A: He couldn't see shit. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sam comes home very late, and very drunk, and his wife is waiting for him at the door. She says, "You've been out fucking around, haven't you?" He says, "Nope." She says, "Then explain the lipstick on your shirt." He says, "That's easy. I used my shirt to wipe off my dick." Glad __________________ I'm "Glad I Ate Her" because the payback was worth it!!

06-12-2003, 08:29 PM	#3 (permalink)
grumpyolddude Deliberately unfocused Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby	Grandpa was a smart man! __________________ "Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard

06-13-2003, 05:16 AM	#4 (permalink)
Destrox Metal and Rock 4 Life Location: Phoenix	All good stuff, thanks __________________ You bore me.... next.

06-13-2003, 06:39 PM	#5 (permalink)
Junchbailey Psycho Location: Columbia Falls, MT	Haha, that last one is great. __________________ Hey guys -- I finally got a semen sample after pumping on my wiener for 2 whole days

06-19-2003, 08:06 PM	#11 (permalink)
Glad-I-Ate-Her Junkie Location: 1 mile from Ground Zero	bongobong, good follow up! glad __________________ I'm "Glad I Ate Her" because the payback was worth it!!

06-12-2003, 08:03 PM	#2 (permalink)
txgirl so many men...so little time. Location: Bellingham	Those were good!

06-16-2003, 02:23 AM	#6 (permalink)
bravo49 Junkie Location: chocolate city	The lipstick one creased me

06-17-2003, 03:21 AM	#7 (permalink)
bongobong Tilted	Q: Why do women get their belly buttons pierced? A: Where else would they hang the air freshener? Q: What do lesbians do after an argument? A: They go home and lick each others wounds. Q: If I had a rooster, and you had a donkey, and your donkey ate my rooster's legs...what would you have? A: Two feet of my cock in your ass. So a dyslexic walks into a bra . . .

06-17-2003, 07:47 AM	#9 (permalink)
DarkerFire Upright	Still funny The Darker Fire Within

06-17-2003, 09:33 AM	#10 (permalink)
petergriffin24 Insane	good stuff in those posts

06-19-2003, 11:04 PM	#12 (permalink)
Meridae'n Loose Cunt Location: North Bondi RSL	last one was gold! __________________ What's easier to believe: that a guy was born without sex in the manner of several Greek demigods and grew up to be able to transmute liquids and alter his body density yet couldn't escape government execution, or that three freemasons in a vehicle made with aluminum foil in an era before digital technology escaped our atmosphere, landing on the moon, broadcasted from there, and then flew back without burning up?