A Day in the Life of a Single Woman - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

troit · 02-17-2004, 09:25 AM

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:

a half-gallon of 2% milk,
a carton of eggs,
a quart of orange juice,
a head of romaine lettuce,
a 2 lb. can of coffee,
and a 1 lb. package of bacon

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"

The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."

paj · 02-17-2004, 03:38 PM

great, heard it before, different variation though, the cashier said it
got a laugh though

mystmarimatt · 02-17-2004, 04:07 PM

Hahaha...that's so sad...

Ilow · 02-17-2004, 07:58 PM

I heard it before with the cashier making the comment to a guy and saying "...because you're fuckin' ugly" Still funny, though

thedrake · 02-18-2004, 10:23 AM

canucker · 02-18-2004, 11:57 AM

Good one +

fizzledorf · 02-18-2004, 12:20 PM

harsh

Crack · 02-18-2004, 12:56 PM

I used this joke on a friend while giving him a ride to the store for groceries... Funny Stuff!

wordssmith22 · 02-18-2004, 07:34 PM

zing! good stuff

gilada · 02-19-2004, 02:12 PM

hehe.

lucidity · 02-19-2004, 03:56 PM

Almost sounds like something you'd hear in the movie 'Clerks'.

blaze · 02-19-2004, 10:40 PM

hahaha I heard this a while ago and when I told my friends, they couldn't stop laughing.

xim · 02-24-2004, 10:27 PM

haha its funny when you make fun of ugly people

small one · 02-25-2004, 01:50 AM

Heard before, but still funny

02-17-2004, 09:25 AM	#1 (permalink)
troit Transfer Agent Location: NYC	A Day in the Life of a Single Woman A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package of bacon As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single." The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?" The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly." __________________ I've yet to dephile myself...

02-17-2004, 04:07 PM	#3 (permalink)
mystmarimatt Omnipotent Ruler Of The Tiny Universe In My Mind Location: Oreegawn	Hahaha...that's so sad... __________________ Words of Wisdom: If you could really get to know someone and know that they weren't lying to you, then you would know the world was real. Because you could agree on things, you could compare notes. That must be why people get married or make Art. So they'll be able to really know something and not go insane.

02-17-2004, 07:58 PM	#4 (permalink)
Ilow Junkie Location: Pats country	I heard it before with the cashier making the comment to a guy and saying "...because you're fuckin' ugly" Still funny, though __________________ "Religion is the one area of our discourse in which it is considered noble to pretend to be certain about things no human being could possibly be certain about" --Sam Harris

02-18-2004, 11:57 AM	#6 (permalink)
canucker Crazy	Good one + __________________ Go hard or go home; Just don't go home hard.

02-18-2004, 12:56 PM	#8 (permalink)
Crack Misanthropic Location: Ohio! yay!	I used this joke on a friend while giving him a ride to the store for groceries... Funny Stuff! __________________ Crack, you and I are long overdue for a vicious bout of mansex. ~Halx

02-17-2004, 03:38 PM	#2 (permalink)
paj Tilted	great, heard it before, different variation though, the cashier said it got a laugh though

02-18-2004, 10:23 AM	#5 (permalink)
thedrake Banned Location: Iowa	hehe

02-18-2004, 12:20 PM	#7 (permalink)
fizzledorf Insane	harsh

02-18-2004, 07:34 PM	#9 (permalink)
wordssmith22 Crazy	zing! good stuff

02-19-2004, 02:12 PM	#10 (permalink)
gilada Psycho Location: Dallas, Tx	hehe. __________________ Hey, this isn't rocket surgery. See my futurephone pics at: http://gilada.textamerica.com See my DVD's at: http://www.dvdprofiler.com/mycollection.asp?alias=gilada

02-19-2004, 03:56 PM	#11 (permalink)
lucidity Crazy Location: ...the space between what's wrong and right...	Almost sounds like something you'd hear in the movie 'Clerks'. __________________ Faith is the daring of the soul to go farther than it can see. -William Newton Clark

02-19-2004, 10:40 PM	#12 (permalink)
blaze Insane Location: In a van, down by the river	hahaha I heard this a while ago and when I told my friends, they couldn't stop laughing.

02-24-2004, 10:27 PM	#13 (permalink)
xim Insane Location: One with the Universe	haha its funny when you make fun of ugly people __________________ If I could be anyone in the world I would be Britney Spears. Shes in so many commercials about pepsi... www.ximcity.com

02-25-2004, 01:50 AM	#14 (permalink)
small one Banned Location: York	Heard before, but still funny