02-10-2004, 09:34 PM | #1 (permalink) |
Insane
Location: in the clouds ;)
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Bar joke (NSFE)
A man walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender comes over and pours the man a drink. The man says to the bartender, "I bet you $100 I can piss into that glass at the other end of the bar." The bartender thinking there's no way he can make it agrees to the bet. The man stands up, pulls out his momma johnson and stands there aiming and judging the distance. Finally he starts to pee and he's peeing all over the place. He's peeing all over the stools, the bar, the tables and just everywhere. And he never comes anywhere close to the glass. When he's done the bartender said "Ok, now you owe me $100." The man says "Hold on one second, I gotta go across the street real quick and then I'll come back and give you your $100." So the man goes across the street and starts talking with someone. he comes back into the bar chuckling to himself and with this huge grin on his face. The bartender looks at him and asks, "Why are you so happy, you just lost $100." The man says to the bartender, "Yeah, but you see I bet the guy across the street $500 that I could not only pee all over your bar, but I can also make you happy about it."
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02-10-2004, 10:21 PM | #2 (permalink) |
Free Mars!
Location: I dunno, there's white people around me saying "eh" all the time
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That's a great one!
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Looking out the window, that's an act of war. Staring at my shoes, that's an act of war. Committing an act of war? Oh you better believe that's an act of war |
02-10-2004, 10:43 PM | #3 (permalink) |
Tilted
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Another one.
A man walks into a bar and there is a horse with a sign that says make the horse laugh and win $100 bucks. The man walks over to the horse and wispers in his ear. The horse laughs and the gut gets his one hundred bucks. The next week the same guy walks into the same bar with the same horse but this time the sign says make the horse cry and win $500.. The man leads the horse outside and when they come back in the horse is crying. He gets his $500. The bartender ask how he did it. The guy said last week I told the horse I was hung better them him and this week I proved it. |
02-14-2004, 08:35 PM | #11 (permalink) |
giddy
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Isn't twilightfoix's joke similar to what Quentin Tarantino's character told Cheech Marin's character in the bar, in the beginning of Desparado?
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I like these calm little moments before the storm. It reminds me of Beethoven. Can you hear it? It's like when you put your head to the grass and you can hear the growin' and you can hear the insects. Do you like Beethoven ? |
02-15-2004, 03:44 AM | #12 (permalink) | |
In Your Dreams
Location: City of Lights
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Quote:
Just my WAG |
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02-17-2004, 08:43 AM | #13 (permalink) | |
Overreactor
Location: South Ca'lina
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Quote:
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"I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request." - Capt. Barbossa |
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02-18-2004, 11:27 PM | #14 (permalink) | |
Crazy
Location: Pa
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Quote:
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i don't want to be lonely, i just want to be alone. |
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02-19-2004, 02:14 PM | #15 (permalink) | |
Psycho
Location: Dallas, Tx
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Quote:
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Hey, this isn't rocket surgery. See my futurephone pics at: http://gilada.textamerica.com See my DVD's at: http://www.dvdprofiler.com/mycollection.asp?alias=gilada |
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Tags |
bar, joke, nsfe |
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