Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Interests > Tilted Humor


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 05-01-2003, 12:30 PM   #1 (permalink)
pinche vato
 
warrrreagl's Avatar
 
Location: backwater, Third World, land of cotton
Man gets even (I dare you to try it)

A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up as it sometimes does.

But then the wife suddenly stops and says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." "WHAT!?" says her husband. The wife explains that he must be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. He realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it.

The next day the husband takes her shopping at a big department store. He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits. She can't decide.He tells his wife to take all three of them. They head to the shoe department and pick up matching shoes worth $200 each.

The pair go to the jewelry department where she finds a set of diamond earrings that her husband agrees to buy for her. The wife is so excited. She thinks her husband has flipped out - but she doesn't care. She goes for the matching tennis bracelet. The husband says "You don't even play tennis, but if you like it then let's get it."

The wife is jumping up and down so excited she cannot even believe what is going on. She says to her husband, "I'm ready to go, let's go to the cashier."

The husband stops and says, "No, honey I don't feel like buying all this stuff now." The wife's face goes blank. "Honey - I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while."

The look on her face is indescribable and she is about to explode as her husband says, "You must be in tune with my financial needs as a Man."
__________________
Living is easy with eyes closed.
warrrreagl is offline  
Old 05-01-2003, 12:44 PM   #2 (permalink)
Psycho
 
forgotten_dream's Avatar
 
*ROFL* Any man with the balls to actually try that won't have them for long....
__________________
"A ouija board just works better if you've made it yourself. It's sortof like how 'Clue' is more interesting when one of you has actually killed someone."
forgotten_dream is offline  
Old 05-01-2003, 12:55 PM   #3 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: Houston, Tx
I sense....I sense...yes....it's definately a man with testicles so large that they made a very esy target for a woman with new shoes....


Aside from that, I LIKE IT!
Darklight Adept is offline  
Old 05-01-2003, 01:22 PM   #4 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Location: Tempe, AZ
lol, very amusing! They always just get even more mad when you try revenge, though...
Quietus is offline  
Old 05-01-2003, 04:07 PM   #5 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Boone, NC
LOL, i like that one
__________________
"Boy, I like that echo... goes right through my head... I had that happen once, but it was chemically induced...." - Steve Earle
GreenCloud is offline  
Old 05-01-2003, 04:12 PM   #6 (permalink)
Essen meine kurze Hosen
 
Location: NY Burbs
That was a shot across her bow. Just wait til she broadsides him.
__________________
Out the 10Base-T, through the router, down the T1, over the leased line, off the bridge, past the firewall...nothing but Net.
platypus is offline  
Old 05-01-2003, 05:17 PM   #7 (permalink)
Hiding Out
 
Definitely one of my favorites! But I don't think any man here would ever do that. We value our manhood.
__________________
Say yes to the 'Tilted Roleplaying' Forum

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1932&highlight=petition
TerresqueÜ is offline  
Old 05-01-2003, 09:53 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
MexicanOnABike's Avatar
 
Location: up north
ahahah!!! thats great@! i'd definately like to see that!
__________________
MexicanOnABike is offline  
Old 05-01-2003, 10:39 PM   #9 (permalink)
Crazy
 
lol great joke!
shield2057 is offline  
Old 05-01-2003, 10:58 PM   #10 (permalink)
Crazy
 
-makes a couple notes so I dont forget to actualy try it-
__________________
"you say erb....we say herb.....because theres a fucking H in it"
redrum is offline  
Old 05-01-2003, 11:22 PM   #11 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Who could EVER get away with that???
mjby2 is offline  
Old 05-02-2003, 02:05 AM   #12 (permalink)
Banned
 
Location: York
He's a braver man than me!!
small one is offline  
Old 05-02-2003, 03:03 AM   #13 (permalink)
Metal and Rock 4 Life
 
Destrox's Avatar
 
Location: Phoenix
All things in life have a sling shot effect....

Boy would I not want to get the reverse of what he just did to her.
__________________
You bore me.... next.
Destrox is offline  
Old 05-02-2003, 04:03 AM   #14 (permalink)
Go faster!
 
DEI37's Avatar
 
Location: Wisconsin
I've heard this before, but it's a classic. I love it! Thanx.
DEI37 is offline  
Old 06-01-2003, 12:36 AM   #15 (permalink)
Loser
 
I've tried something like that before, and it works if you say your point after that gets their attention, then you got to do a little waht they say, and they do what you say.
morlock is offline  
Old 06-01-2003, 03:51 AM   #16 (permalink)
The Matrix had a point...
 
BuDDaH's Avatar
 
Moderator Emeritus
Location: 10th Mountain ASB Fort Drum, N.Y.
Understandable, but I'd doubt you'd make it into the evening..
Muchless, out the store.
__________________
I'd hit that so hard whoever could pull me out would become King of England!
BuDDaH is offline  
Old 06-01-2003, 09:26 AM   #17 (permalink)
Upright
 
Oh yeah, DEFINATELY not gonna try that...
bhamv is offline  
Old 06-01-2003, 10:54 AM   #18 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: NH
one of the funniest jokes i have ever heard!
tommyboy is offline  
Old 06-01-2003, 12:43 PM   #19 (permalink)
Upright
 
excellent joke
papageorgio777 is offline  
Old 06-01-2003, 12:58 PM   #20 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: Where hockey pucks run rampant
Balls to the wall.

And what with his wife, they might be nailed that way after a stunt like that. Commendable in a twisted sort of way.
__________________
Lead me, follow me, or get out of my way!
duckduck is offline  
Old 06-02-2003, 12:58 AM   #21 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: Down Under
Love it!
fluster is offline  
Old 06-02-2003, 01:00 AM   #22 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: chocolate city
That man is suicidal
bravo49 is offline  
Old 06-02-2003, 04:25 AM   #23 (permalink)
Über-Rookie
 
Location: No longer, D.C
.... i could try it with someone elses wife... if i can run faster than she can*grin*
__________________
"All that we can do is just survive.
.All that we can do to help ourselves is stay alive." - Rush
oblar is offline  
Old 06-02-2003, 06:01 AM   #24 (permalink)
Crazy
 
most excellent, and damn good!!!, thanks for sharing!!!
txstrosman is offline  
Old 06-02-2003, 06:05 AM   #25 (permalink)
Psycho
 
That is some funny stuff!!
BigBlueWrecking is offline  
Old 06-02-2003, 10:43 AM   #26 (permalink)
Sky Piercer
 
CSflim's Avatar
 
Location: Ireland
beautiful!
__________________
CSflim is offline  
Old 06-02-2003, 11:34 AM   #27 (permalink)
spurt king
 
Location: Out of my mind
If anyone here does attempt it, please bring a video camera and share with us that precious moment
__________________
No signature at this time.
GSRIDER is offline  
Old 06-02-2003, 03:44 PM   #28 (permalink)
The Cheshire Grin...
 
Location: An Aussie Outback
LOL
Gee that was a good one... hehe... try that on my GF.. noway I'd be hung out to dry..
__________________
Can you see me grin grin grrriiiiinnnning?!
GoldenOuroboros is offline  
Old 06-02-2003, 04:35 PM   #29 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: Black Dog Bay, Alaska
VERY FUNNY....SUCH A BRAVE MAN
__________________
I can't drive 55
harris Jeffer is offline  
Old 06-02-2003, 06:21 PM   #30 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: British Columbia
ooohh, thats a dangerous one
Eviltree is offline  
Old 06-02-2003, 06:43 PM   #31 (permalink)
We're having potato pancakes!
 
hotzot's Avatar
 
Location: stalag 13
good one!
__________________
The Bully Boys are here!
hotzot is offline  
Old 06-02-2003, 06:52 PM   #32 (permalink)
Upright
 
ha
thejake is offline  
Old 06-02-2003, 07:32 PM   #33 (permalink)
Upright
 
Terribly true!

The Darker Fire Within.
DarkerFire is offline  
Old 06-02-2003, 09:06 PM   #34 (permalink)
Junkie
 
That is great, she would tear him up
__________________
I'll Throw You!
stankybcn1 is offline  
Old 03-18-2004, 05:13 AM   #35 (permalink)
Insane
 
Foot ==> Crotch.
__________________
Green. Yellow. Blue.
aarchaon is offline  
 

Tags
dare, man


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 10:23 AM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360