|
04-28-2003, 11:27 PM
|
#1 (permalink) |
|
Junkie
Location: Louisiana
|
Famous People Say the Darndest Things
"There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you're anxious to meet people who do."
Henry Kissinger (former US Secretary of State) "Things you'll never hear a woman say: 'My, what an attractive scrotum!' Patricia Arquette "And God said: "Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan." George Burns "Luge strategy? Lie flat and try not to die." Carmen Boyle (Olympic gold medalist in luge, 1966) "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." Sharon Stone "My girlfriend always laughs during sex-no matter what she's reading." Steve Jobs (Founder: Apple Computers) "My cousin just died. He was only 19. He got stung by a bee-the natural enemy of a tightrope walker." Dan Rather (News anchorman) "I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?" Arnold Schwarzenegger "Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps." Tiger Woods "I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves." Jerry Garcia (Grateful Dead) "I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a Great White or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot." Axel Rose (Guns'n'Roses) "Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer. But imprisonment turns the state into a gay dungeon-master." Rev. Jesse Jackson "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." Jack Nicholson "Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is." Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady) Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." Robin Williams "Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself." Roseanne "In the last couple of weeks I have seen the ads for the Wonder Bra. Is that really a problem in this country? Men not paying enough attention to women's breasts?" Hugh Grant "There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?" Dustin Hoffman "Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house." Rod Stewart., aging cover band singer |
|
|
04-29-2003, 01:52 AM
|
#3 (permalink) | |
|
Upright
Location: California when i'm not in hawaii
|
Re: Famous People Say the Darndest Things
Quote:
|
|
|
|
|
04-29-2003, 06:47 AM
|
#8 (permalink) |
|
Insane
Location: Up my ass
|
Those crazy celebs. What will they think of next?
__________________
Alice, that dog has been licking his own asshole for three hours. I would venture to say that there is nothing there that requires more than an hour's attention. So I would suggest that whatever he's attempting to dislodge is either gone for good....or there to stay. -The Long Kiss Goodnight_ |
|
|
|
05-01-2003, 10:38 AM
|
#21 (permalink) |
|
Essen meine kurze Hosen
Location: NY Burbs
|
Some great quotes there, but I seen some of them before attributed to a different person.
__________________
Out the 10Base-T, through the router, down the T1, over the leased line, off the bridge, past the firewall...nothing but Net. |
|
|
|
05-01-2003, 11:43 AM
|
#23 (permalink) |
|
Insane
Location: The South
|
"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house." - Rod Stewart.
Great One. My favorite, even though it is not humorous, is still: "We all can't be Heroes. Someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by." - Will Rogers |
|
|
| Tags |
| darndest, famous, people, things |
|
|
