Political Comedy Play - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

uncle phil · 09-10-2003, 02:32 AM

Finally, a candidate who can explain the Bush administration's positions on civil liberties in the original German."
-- Bill Maher, on Schwarzenegger running for Governor.

"President Bush is supporting Arnold but a lot of Republicans are
not, because he is actually quite liberal. Karl Rove said if his
father wasn't a Nazi, he wouldn't have any credibility with
conservatives at all."
-- Bill Maher

"They're saying Arnold will get 95% of the vote. At least according
to his brother, Jeb Schwarzenegger."
-- Craig Kilborn

"President Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger. Of course, he can't pronounce Schwarzenegger."
-- David Letterman

"Here's how bad California looks to the rest of the country. People in Florida are laughing at us."
-- Jay Leno

"Well, we're all excited because President Bush has started his 35-day vacation. He's down there in Crawford, Texas and on the first day of his vacation he went fishing. He didn't find any fish but he believes they're there and that his intelligence is accurate."
-- David Letterman

"President Bush held his first full press conference in over 5 months this week. He announced that the war on terrorism is continuing, much, much more work needs to be done on the economy, and Saddam Hussein has not yet been captured. And then he said, 'I'm going on vacation for a month.'"
-- Jay Leno

"President Bush is leaving to go to Crawford, Texas, for a 35-day
working vacation. This should go over big with all the people taking a can't-get-work vacation."
-- David Letterman

"The White House says that the vacation in Texas will give President Bush the chance to unwind. My question is, when does the guy wind?"
-- David Letterman

"President Bush's economic team is now on their jobs and growth bus tour all across America. I think the only job they created so far is for the guy driving the bus."
-- Jay Leno

"President Bush has refused to declassify portions of the
congressional 9/11 reports about the Saudis, because he says it will help the enemy. Not Al Qaeda, the Democrats."
-- Jay Leno

"The United States is putting together a Constitution now for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It's served us well for 200 years, and we don't appear to be using it anymore, so what the hell?"
-- Jay Leno

Regziever · 09-10-2003, 02:38 AM

I've always love Jay Leno's jokes. Good ones!

Stare At The Sun · 09-10-2003, 09:21 AM

Quote:

I've always love Jay Leno's jokes. Good ones!

Gortexfogg · 09-10-2003, 10:36 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by uncle phil

"President Bush is supporting Arnold but a lot of Republicans are
not, because he is actually quite liberal. Karl Rove said if his
father wasn't a Nazi, he wouldn't have any credibility with
conservatives at all."
-- Bill Maher

Hilarious stuff! Arnold should have run for office years ago...

archer2371 · 09-10-2003, 12:07 PM

"The United States is putting together a Constitution now for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It's served us well for 200 years, and we don't appear to be using it anymore, so what the hell?"
-- Jay Leno

LOL! That's awesome!

09-10-2003, 02:32 AM	#1 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	Political Comedy Play Finally, a candidate who can explain the Bush administration's positions on civil liberties in the original German." -- Bill Maher, on Schwarzenegger running for Governor. "President Bush is supporting Arnold but a lot of Republicans are not, because he is actually quite liberal. Karl Rove said if his father wasn't a Nazi, he wouldn't have any credibility with conservatives at all." -- Bill Maher "They're saying Arnold will get 95% of the vote. At least according to his brother, Jeb Schwarzenegger." -- Craig Kilborn "President Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger. Of course, he can't pronounce Schwarzenegger." -- David Letterman "Here's how bad California looks to the rest of the country. People in Florida are laughing at us." -- Jay Leno "Well, we're all excited because President Bush has started his 35-day vacation. He's down there in Crawford, Texas and on the first day of his vacation he went fishing. He didn't find any fish but he believes they're there and that his intelligence is accurate." -- David Letterman "President Bush held his first full press conference in over 5 months this week. He announced that the war on terrorism is continuing, much, much more work needs to be done on the economy, and Saddam Hussein has not yet been captured. And then he said, 'I'm going on vacation for a month.'" -- Jay Leno "President Bush is leaving to go to Crawford, Texas, for a 35-day working vacation. This should go over big with all the people taking a can't-get-work vacation." -- David Letterman "The White House says that the vacation in Texas will give President Bush the chance to unwind. My question is, when does the guy wind?" -- David Letterman "President Bush's economic team is now on their jobs and growth bus tour all across America. I think the only job they created so far is for the guy driving the bus." -- Jay Leno "President Bush has refused to declassify portions of the congressional 9/11 reports about the Saudis, because he says it will help the enemy. Not Al Qaeda, the Democrats." -- Jay Leno "The United States is putting together a Constitution now for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It's served us well for 200 years, and we don't appear to be using it anymore, so what the hell?" -- Jay Leno __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it. Last edited by uncle phil; 09-10-2003 at 02:37 AM..

09-10-2003, 02:38 AM	#2 (permalink)
Regziever Sexy eh? Location: Sweden	I've always love Jay Leno's jokes. Good ones! __________________ Life is shit, Death is even worse, So what's the point of killing yourself? /Ignatius Camryn Paladine

09-10-2003, 12:07 PM	#5 (permalink)
archer2371 Sarge of Blood Gulch Red Outpost Number One Location: On the front lines against our very enemy	"The United States is putting together a Constitution now for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It's served us well for 200 years, and we don't appear to be using it anymore, so what the hell?" -- Jay Leno LOL! That's awesome! __________________ "This ain't no Ice Cream Social!" "Hey Grif, Chupathingy...how bout that? I like it...got a ring to it." "I have no earthly idea what it is I just saw, or what this place is, or where in the hell O'Malley is! My only choice is to blame Grif for coming up with such a flawed plan. Stupid, stupid Grif."