Great lines from job evaluations..... - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

marcopolo · 09-01-2003, 07:09 AM

1. This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more definitely a won't be.

2. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.

3. When she opens her mouth, it seems it is only to change whichever foot was previously there.

4. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.

5. This young lady has delusions of adequacy.

6. He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

7. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

8. This employee should go far and the sooner he starts, the better.

9. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

10. Got into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn't watching.

11. A room temperature IQ.

12. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it together.

13. A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.

14. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.

15. A prime candidate for natural deselection.

16. Bright as Alaska in December.

17. One-celled organisms outscore him in IQ tests.

18. Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.

19. Fell out of the family tree.

20. Gates are down, lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

21. Has two brains: one is lost; the other is out looking for it.

22. He's so dense, light bends around him.

23. If brains were taxed, she'd get a refund.

24. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

25. If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'll get change.

26. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.

27. One neuron short of a synapse.

28. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled.

29. Takes him an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes.

30. Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.

31. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

32. His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.

SysteMatiC · 09-01-2003, 08:05 AM

lol those are just mean.

archer2371 · 09-01-2003, 10:50 AM

I love those.

slant eyes · 09-01-2003, 11:17 AM

these are awesome.

Regziever · 09-01-2003, 11:53 AM

Lol! Gave me a good joke or three... Nice post!

Shpoop · 09-01-2003, 05:18 PM

lol!!! 26 was hilaaaaaaaaarious

Speed_Gibson · 09-01-2003, 05:34 PM

old but still funny (think I first saw those back in my Compuserve 28/33k dialup days)

loganmule · 09-01-2003, 06:27 PM

great stuff...just don't make the mistake of actually putting them any a real employee's file...lawyers circle and strike

yoda77 · 09-01-2003, 07:47 PM

I think I have met some of these people.lol

TIO · 09-02-2003, 10:29 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by marcopolo
29. Takes him an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes.

This one made me burst out laughing. Now the others in the computer lab are looking at me funny...
Grause post, marco!

Blistex · 09-02-2003, 10:34 AM

Q: How would you describe John`s work ethic?

A: Using mainly swears and fits of incomprehencible ravings.

Eowyn_Vala · 09-24-2003, 08:58 PM

great stuff

afirocks · 09-27-2003, 08:54 AM

these are so funny

MexicanOnABike · 09-27-2003, 11:33 AM

repeat but great!

David2000 · 09-27-2003, 11:48 AM

I had a professor who once wrote on my paper "your essay is like an unraked pile of leaves--how did you get into this school?"

That hurt. Then i got an A- in his class!

09-01-2003, 07:09 AM	#1 (permalink)
marcopolo I am the anomaly. Location: Motown	Great lines from job evaluations..... 1. This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more definitely a won't be. 2. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap. 3. When she opens her mouth, it seems it is only to change whichever foot was previously there. 4. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle. 5. This young lady has delusions of adequacy. 6. He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them. 7. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. 8. This employee should go far and the sooner he starts, the better. 9. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer. 10. Got into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn't watching. 11. A room temperature IQ. 12. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it together. 13. A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus. 14. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on. 15. A prime candidate for natural deselection. 16. Bright as Alaska in December. 17. One-celled organisms outscore him in IQ tests. 18. Donated his brain to science before he was done using it. 19. Fell out of the family tree. 20. Gates are down, lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming. 21. Has two brains: one is lost; the other is out looking for it. 22. He's so dense, light bends around him. 23. If brains were taxed, she'd get a refund. 24. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week. 25. If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'll get change. 26. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean. 27. One neuron short of a synapse. 28. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled. 29. Takes him an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes. 30. Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead. 31. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig. 32. His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity. __________________ Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

09-01-2003, 08:05 AM	#2 (permalink)
SysteMatiC Insane Location: unfortunately not ireland	lol those are just mean. __________________ I have more respect for a man who says what he means, even if he is wrong, then one who acts like an angel, but is nothing but a devil.

09-01-2003, 10:50 AM	#3 (permalink)
archer2371 Sarge of Blood Gulch Red Outpost Number One Location: On the front lines against our very enemy	I love those. __________________ "This ain't no Ice Cream Social!" "Hey Grif, Chupathingy...how bout that? I like it...got a ring to it." "I have no earthly idea what it is I just saw, or what this place is, or where in the hell O'Malley is! My only choice is to blame Grif for coming up with such a flawed plan. Stupid, stupid Grif."

09-01-2003, 11:17 AM	#4 (permalink)
slant eyes Psycho Location: cali	these are awesome. __________________ no man or woman is worth your tears - and the one who is, won't make you cry question authority, don't ask why, just do it!

09-01-2003, 11:53 AM	#5 (permalink)
Regziever Sexy eh? Location: Sweden	Lol! Gave me a good joke or three... Nice post! __________________ Life is shit, Death is even worse, So what's the point of killing yourself? /Ignatius Camryn Paladine

09-01-2003, 05:18 PM	#6 (permalink)
Shpoop Curious Location: NJ (but just for college)	lol!!! 26 was hilaaaaaaaaarious

09-01-2003, 05:34 PM	#7 (permalink)
Speed_Gibson Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? Location: right here of course	old but still funny (think I first saw those back in my Compuserve 28/33k dialup days)

09-01-2003, 06:27 PM	#8 (permalink)
loganmule Junkie Location: midwest	great stuff...just don't make the mistake of actually putting them any a real employee's file...lawyers circle and strike

09-01-2003, 07:47 PM	#9 (permalink)
yoda77 Tilted Location: SF BAY AREA	I think I have met some of these people.lol __________________ DRINK,SMOKE AND LAUGH

09-02-2003, 10:34 AM	#11 (permalink)
Blistex Psycho Location: Tiger I Turret	Q: How would you describe John`s work ethic? A: Using mainly swears and fits of incomprehencible ravings.

09-24-2003, 08:58 PM	#12 (permalink)
Eowyn_Vala Insane Location: There's no place like home..	great stuff __________________ Cain: I know what you're doing. I've lead troops into battle before. DG: And, how am I doing? Cain: Well, there's less hugging when I do it

09-27-2003, 08:54 AM	#13 (permalink)
afirocks Crazy	these are so funny

09-27-2003, 11:33 AM	#14 (permalink)
MexicanOnABike Location: up north	repeat but great! __________________ - Movie Reviews - Ratings-

09-27-2003, 11:48 AM	#15 (permalink)
David2000 Tilted Location: New Haven, CT	I had a professor who once wrote on my paper "your essay is like an unraked pile of leaves--how did you get into this school?" That hurt. Then i got an A- in his class! __________________ However livin' better now, Gucci sweater now..