The Anti-joke thread . - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

marcopolo · 08-27-2003, 12:10 PM

A conversation at work came up today about the use of 'anti-jokes '. Mkay . I'll bite . It seems an "anti -joke is a joke thats really horrible, intentionally unfunny that you'll read or hear ." Essentially they are "started off as a joke but ended up stupid" , but nonetheless, they can be funny sometimes .

to get the topic started

What do you say to a 2-headed monster?
Hello hello.

Best told in a public place, in the company of someone easily embarrassed:

Q. How do you sell a duck to a deaf man?
A. HEY!! WANNA BUY A DUCK?!?!

Got the picture? Good. Post one or two yourself .

Happyland · 08-27-2003, 12:44 PM

Two monkeys were sitting in a tub.
One monkey says, "pass the soap."
The other one says," I can't I don't have a TV."

scansinboy · 08-27-2003, 02:51 PM

What's the difference between an Orange?

A: A bicycle, because a vest has no sleeves.

scansinboy · 08-27-2003, 02:52 PM

Two stawberries are in the shower. What did one say to the other?

A; Please pass the typewriter.

Tiger69z · 08-27-2003, 04:57 PM

hehe i'll post this one:

Q: How do you say "Grape in French?"

A: Grape in French

HA!

soopadoopa · 08-27-2003, 05:11 PM

How do you kill a blue elephant?

Shoot him with a blue elephant gun.

How do you kill a pink elephant?

Hold his nose til he turns blue, and shoot him with the blue elephant gun, stupid.

username · 08-27-2003, 08:36 PM

Quote:

How do you kill a blue elephant?

Shoot him with a blue elephant gun.

How do you kill a pink elephant?

Hold his nose til he turns blue, and shoot him with the blue elephant gun, stupid.

Is this one of those mathematician jokes about reducing the current problem to a previously solved problem?

And to do my part to add to the bad jokes:

Q: What is long, hard and full of seaman?

A: A submarine

Root_Beer_Man · 08-27-2003, 09:44 PM

Why did the condom fly across the room? it got pissed off.

MikeyChalupa · 08-28-2003, 06:21 AM

How do you know if an elephant has been in your butter?

Footprints.

-Mikey

lemming · 08-28-2003, 06:39 AM

haha some of these are great...they cant be anti jokes=\

Happyland · 08-29-2003, 09:13 PM

why do they call a lemming a lemming?

gloveshot3 · 08-30-2003, 05:05 AM

in days of old
and knights so bold
when rubbers weren't invented
you'd tie a sock
around your cock
and babies were prevented

crackpot · 08-30-2003, 06:30 PM

A bar walks into a guy. The bar orders a liver, a heart and a kidney. He asks that the lungs be thrown in as well. The man meets his heavenly reward. Such is the fate of humorous bar flies.

Shpoop · 08-30-2003, 09:06 PM

Why did the orange roll down the hill?
Because he was out of juice!

Why is bees hair so sticky?
They use honeycombs!

bobmsmythe · 09-04-2003, 07:48 AM

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Because he was dead.

Why did the baby fall out of the tree?

He was stapled to the monkey.

Bob

bulakbol master · 09-04-2003, 08:03 AM

So two ducks walk into a bar...

The third one guys.

badflsh · 09-04-2003, 02:02 PM

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

Where's my tractor? (best said with some sort of messed up accent)

89transam · 09-04-2003, 08:07 PM

One duck says "Quack"
The other exclains "thats exactly wahts I was going to say"

TheClarkster · 09-04-2003, 10:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by bulakbol master
So two ducks walk into a bar...

The third one guys.

I feel really stupid looking back at that and not getting it the first time through.

bobmsmythe · 09-05-2003, 05:58 AM

What's big, red, and eats rocks?

A big, red, rock-eating monster.

Bob

Jim Kata · 09-05-2003, 09:34 AM

A baby seal walks into a club......

What winks and fucks like a tiger?
*wink*

Midlandmadman · 09-05-2003, 10:06 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Root_Beer_Man
Why did the condom fly across the room? it got pissed off.

any one ever do this????? I did !!! I was soooooo drunk I forgot I had it on..... when I started pissing and my dick started "swelling Up" I though i broke my pecker..... then it shot off!!! I still can't believe i did that... or told everyone for that matter.

08-27-2003, 12:10 PM	#1 (permalink)
marcopolo I am the anomaly. Location: Motown	The Anti-joke thread . A conversation at work came up today about the use of 'anti-jokes '. Mkay . I'll bite . It seems an "anti -joke is a joke thats really horrible, intentionally unfunny that you'll read or hear ." Essentially they are "started off as a joke but ended up stupid" , but nonetheless, they can be funny sometimes . to get the topic started What do you say to a 2-headed monster? Hello hello. Best told in a public place, in the company of someone easily embarrassed: Q. How do you sell a duck to a deaf man? A. HEY!! WANNA BUY A DUCK?!?! Got the picture? Good. Post one or two yourself . __________________ Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

08-27-2003, 12:44 PM	#2 (permalink)
Happyland Insane Location: where happiness lives	Two monkeys were sitting in a tub. One monkey says, "pass the soap." The other one says," I can't I don't have a TV." __________________ someone else here must like Walton & Johnson too

08-27-2003, 02:51 PM	#3 (permalink)
scansinboy Insane Location: Milwaukee	What's the difference between an Orange? A: A bicycle, because a vest has no sleeves. __________________ Don't blame me... I voted for Kodos!

08-27-2003, 02:52 PM	#4 (permalink)
scansinboy Insane Location: Milwaukee	Two stawberries are in the shower. What did one say to the other? A; Please pass the typewriter. __________________ Don't blame me... I voted for Kodos!

08-27-2003, 09:44 PM	#8 (permalink)
Root_Beer_Man Crazy	Why did the condom fly across the room? it got pissed off. __________________ >3 Cheers for boobies!!<

08-27-2003, 04:57 PM	#5 (permalink)
Tiger69z Banned Location: Sunny S.FLA	hehe i'll post this one: Q: How do you say "Grape in French?" A: Grape in French HA!

08-27-2003, 05:11 PM	#6 (permalink)
soopadoopa Crazy	How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot him with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold his nose til he turns blue, and shoot him with the blue elephant gun, stupid.

08-28-2003, 06:21 AM	#9 (permalink)
MikeyChalupa Squid Location: USS George Washington	How do you know if an elephant has been in your butter? Footprints. -Mikey

08-28-2003, 06:39 AM	#10 (permalink)
lemming Tilted	haha some of these are great...they cant be anti jokes=\

08-29-2003, 09:13 PM	#11 (permalink)
Happyland Insane Location: where happiness lives	why do they call a lemming a lemming? __________________ someone else here must like Walton & Johnson too

08-30-2003, 05:05 AM	#12 (permalink)
gloveshot3 Crazy	in days of old and knights so bold when rubbers weren't invented you'd tie a sock around your cock and babies were prevented

08-30-2003, 06:30 PM	#13 (permalink)
crackpot Junkie Location: Montreal	A bar walks into a guy. The bar orders a liver, a heart and a kidney. He asks that the lungs be thrown in as well. The man meets his heavenly reward. Such is the fate of humorous bar flies.

08-30-2003, 09:06 PM	#14 (permalink)
Shpoop Curious Location: NJ (but just for college)	Why did the orange roll down the hill? Because he was out of juice! Why is bees hair so sticky? They use honeycombs!

09-04-2003, 07:48 AM	#15 (permalink)
bobmsmythe Crazy Location: NYC	Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey. Bob

09-04-2003, 08:03 AM	#16 (permalink)
bulakbol master Upright Location: Philippines	So two ducks walk into a bar... The third one guys. __________________ "There is a theory that says whenever somebody figures out exactly what the universe is and why it is here, it will immediately vanish and be replaced by something even more unexplainable and bizarre. There is another theory that says this has already happened." -Douglas Adams

09-04-2003, 02:02 PM	#17 (permalink)
badflsh Tilted Location: Oregon	What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor? (best said with some sort of messed up accent)

09-04-2003, 08:07 PM	#18 (permalink)
89transam Psycho Location: Central California	One duck says "Quack" The other exclains "thats exactly wahts I was going to say" __________________ I'd rather be rich than stupid.

09-05-2003, 05:58 AM	#20 (permalink)
bobmsmythe Crazy Location: NYC	What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock-eating monster. Bob

09-05-2003, 09:34 AM	#21 (permalink)
Jim Kata Swollen Member Location: Northern VA	A baby seal walks into a club...... What winks and fucks like a tiger? wink