uncle phil

Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music.. The iTit will cost from $4990 to $6990, depending on cup and speaker size. This is considered a major social breakthrough, because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them...

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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Lindy

A variation on the same theme:

Apple Computer announced today that it has developed an
implantable computer chip that can store and play high quality music in stereo through women's breasts.
The iTit will cost from $99 to $499 with speaker sizes ranging
from 32AA (which has perfectly flat frequency response) to 40DD (highly noticeable peaks and valleys).
This is considered to be a major social as well as musical
breakthrough because women have always complained about men staring at their breasts instead of listening to them.