uncle phil

A young guy walks into a bar. An old drunk sits with a shoe box on the stool next to him.

The guy asks, "What's in the box?"

The older guy says matter-of-factly, "A South American Blow Job Toad."

The young guy looks around. "Can I try it?"

The older guy nods. The young guy goes to the men's room and returns 20 minutes later.

"That was amazing," he says, "You've got to sell it to me."

The old drunk concedes to sell the toad for a hefty sum. The happy young man struts home and meets his wife at the door.

"Where the hell have you been? What's in the box?" she demands.

"South American Blow Job Toad."

"So?" asks the wife.

"So, teach it to cook and get the fuck out..."

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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.