Little Johnny's Neighbor - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

uncle phil · 07-07-2009, 02:10 AM

Little Johnnie's neighbor had a baby.

Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.

When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnnie's family was invited over to see the baby. Before they left their house, Little Johnnie's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.

His dad also told him that if he so much mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home.

Little Johnnie told his dad he understood completely.

When Johnnie looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby."

The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnnie.

Johnnie said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see?"

"Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision."

"That's great", said Little Johnnie,"cuz he'd be fucked if he needed glasses".

Redlemon · 07-07-2009, 05:17 AM

Technical note: even at 5 years old, the best resolution that a doctor can test to is 20/30 (at least, that's what my kid's pediatrician says). Also, it takes quite a few years for the eyes to complete development.

SSJTWIZTA · 07-07-2009, 09:56 AM

way to ruin it with science, red.

grumpyolddude · 07-07-2009, 10:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Redlemon

Technical note: even at 5 years old, the best resolution that a doctor can test to is 20/30 (at least, that's what my kid's pediatrician says). Also, it takes quite a few years for the eyes to complete development.

Redlemon · 07-07-2009, 10:46 AM

I require accuracy in humor.

And I love deconstructing jokes.

Iliftrocks · 07-07-2009, 10:56 AM

HI-larious

frankie777 · 07-09-2009, 05:48 AM

Redlemon pls spare us your scientific-cum-optometric jargon and find a way to see the funny side of thejoke. To Little Johnny, I'ld say, 'nice observation', to Redlemon, I'ld say, 'lighten up!'

Redlemon · 07-10-2009, 12:19 PM

I changed my title just for you, Frankie.

07-07-2009, 02:10 AM	#1 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	Little Johnny's Neighbor Little Johnnie's neighbor had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears. When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnnie's family was invited over to see the baby. Before they left their house, Little Johnnie's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears. His dad also told him that if he so much mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home. Little Johnnie told his dad he understood completely. When Johnnie looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby." The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnnie. Johnnie said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see?" "Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision." "That's great", said Little Johnnie,"cuz he'd be fucked if he needed glasses". __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

07-07-2009, 05:17 AM	#2 (permalink)
Redlemon Devoted Donor Location: New England	Technical note: even at 5 years old, the best resolution that a doctor can test to is 20/30 (at least, that's what my kid's pediatrician says). Also, it takes quite a few years for the eyes to complete development. __________________ I can't read your signature. Sorry.

07-07-2009, 09:56 AM	#3 (permalink)
SSJTWIZTA Master Thief. Master Criminal. Masturbator. Location: Windiwana	way to ruin it with science, red. __________________ First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew. Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist. Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me. -Pastor Martin Niemoller

07-07-2009, 10:46 AM	#5 (permalink)
Redlemon Devoted Donor Location: New England	I require accuracy in humor. And I love deconstructing jokes. __________________ I can't read your signature. Sorry.

07-07-2009, 10:56 AM	#6 (permalink)
Iliftrocks Junkie Location: Near Raleigh, NC	HI-larious __________________ bill hicks - "I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out."

07-09-2009, 05:48 AM	#7 (permalink)
frankie777 Upright Location: london, England	Redlemon pls spare us your scientific-cum-optometric jargon and find a way to see the funny side of thejoke. To Little Johnny, I'ld say, 'nice observation', to Redlemon, I'ld say, 'lighten up!'

07-10-2009, 12:19 PM	#8 (permalink)
Redlemon Devoted Donor Location: New England	I changed my title just for you, Frankie. __________________ I can't read your signature. Sorry.