uncle phil

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

(Now that's more like it !)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

(O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.

(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.. (Creepy.)

(I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour

(Don't try this at home, maybe at work)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.

(Honey, I'm home. What the...?!)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes.. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.

(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

(I still want to be a pig in my next life....quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet.

(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.(Hmmmmmm......)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.

(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.

(Okay, so that would be a good thing)

A cat's urine glows under a black light.

(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

( I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains

(I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.

(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

(What about that pig??)

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Plan9

Hell, I'm thinking I know people who've pushed out atomic bombs in less than a year.

Taco bell, T-rats, and too much shitty beer.

Ergh.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

blahblah454

Dear lord Crompsin, you were not stuck in the same room as them were you?

Punk.of.Ages

I know exactly what you mean...

That's my average Saturday Night/Sunday Morning.

__________________
"The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion..." - Henry Steel Commager

"Punk rock music is great music played by really bad, drunk musicians." -Fat Mike

Bear Cub

If they thought the Manhattan Project yielded deadly results, wait until they witness the devastation of my "Pabst and Long Island Iced Tea Project."

__________________
Living in the United Socialist States of America.

Punk.of.Ages

I'll see your Pabst and Long Island Iced Teas nights and raise you my Keystone and cheap whiskey nights!

__________________
"The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion..." - Henry Steel Commager

"Punk rock music is great music played by really bad, drunk musicians." -Fat Mike

vainღ♥♡jane

frankie777

Does anyone out there know of a reputable surgeon who can carry out some serious transformation on my anatomy? Pigs take 30 whole minutes? Lucky sods!

Hektore

Pigs also release about a cup (250 ml) of semen with each ejaculation.

I had a professor in college who, for his research adviser, had to 'collect' the samples for sperm motility studies.

Getting head would never be the same.

About the mantis
The Female Praying Mantis: Sexual Predator or Misunderstood | Serendip's Exchange

__________________
The advantage law is the best law in rugby, because it lets you ignore all the others for the good of the game.