this is gonna offend someone - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

squeeeb · 06-08-2009, 07:11 AM

*looks both ways before asking in hushed tones*

what do you call a black guy flying a plane?
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a pilot, you fucking racist

wooÐs · 06-08-2009, 07:35 AM

Aw, I thought this was gonna be good.

lol

danbo · 06-08-2009, 08:35 AM

You're right; it offends me by not being funny.

uncle phil · 06-09-2009, 02:11 AM

oh ye of little sense of humor...

Iliftrocks · 06-09-2009, 07:19 AM

You have split my sides

Plan9 · 06-09-2009, 08:47 AM

Brought to you by The Rev Jesse Jackson.

Crack · 06-09-2009, 11:17 PM

I laughed.

Martian · 06-10-2009, 03:08 AM

Geez, tough crowd.

I chuckled.

Baraka_Guru · 06-10-2009, 03:46 AM

It's funny because the prime target is the listener. Some of the best humour comes out of that.

mixedmedia · 06-10-2009, 04:05 AM

I know some people I'd like to use that on...

uncle phil · 08-04-2009, 12:33 PM

Q. What's the Cuban National Anthem?
A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat...

blahblah454 · 08-04-2009, 05:59 PM

squeeeb +1
uncle phil -1

Sorry phil!

wooÐs · 08-05-2009, 12:44 AM

oh see now I like that one lol

uncle phil · 08-05-2009, 02:14 AM

Q. What does it mean when the Post Office's flag is flying at half-mast?

A. They're hiring

uncle phil · 08-06-2009, 02:41 AM

Q. Why do Driver Education classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?

A. Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it...

uncle phil · 08-07-2009, 02:49 AM

Q. What do you call a Mississippi farmer with a sheep under each arm?

A. A pimp.

uncle phil · 08-08-2009, 04:56 AM

Q. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?

A. The southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe...

uncle phil · 08-09-2009, 04:37 AM

Q How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the ' F' word?

A. Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell 'BINGO!'

uncle phil · 08-10-2009, 02:45 AM

Q. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?

A. A northern fairytale begins, 'Once upon a time...' and a southern fairy tale begins, 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit...'

Xerxys · 08-10-2009, 08:09 AM

I start most my stories with "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit ...", also.

IdeoFunk · 08-10-2009, 11:31 AM

lol well done phil

uncle phil · 08-11-2009, 02:58 AM

Q. What did the Chinese couple name their retarded baby?

A. Sum Ting Wong

LoganSnake · 08-26-2009, 06:48 PM

What do princess Diana and Pink Floyd have in common?

Their last hit was the wall.

SSJTWIZTA · 08-26-2009, 07:15 PM

<<< has TONS of racist jokes, but will refrain from using them.

for some reason i think racist jokes are hilarious, no matter who they're directed towards.

LoganSnake · 08-26-2009, 07:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SSJTWIZTA

<<< has TONS of racist jokes, but will refrain from using them.

for some reason i think racist jokes are hilarious, no matter who they're directed towards.

Agreed. I love racist jokes.

Titan_Uranus · 08-27-2009, 03:49 AM

y'all gonna make me wet my pants.

fresnelly · 08-27-2009, 04:59 AM

How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
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THAT'S NOT FUNNY!!

thesaurosie · 08-29-2009, 05:54 PM

What's worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can?
1 baby in 10 trash cans

^_^

julie0187 · 08-29-2009, 10:24 PM

This is how i like to answer the phone!!!

Thank you for calling Julies abortion clinic you rape em, we scrap em!!!!

Xerxys · 09-01-2009, 08:33 PM

Q: What did the blind gay guy say to the other guy when he was eating his ass out?
A: "I can't see shit!"

06-08-2009, 07:11 AM	#1 (permalink)
squeeeb part of the problem Location: hic et ubique	this is gonna offend someone looks both ways before asking in hushed tones what do you call a black guy flying a plane? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? a pilot, you fucking racist __________________ onward to mayhem! Last edited by squeeeb; 06-08-2009 at 07:15 AM..

06-09-2009, 02:11 AM	#4 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	oh ye of little sense of humor... __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

06-09-2009, 07:19 AM	#5 (permalink)
Iliftrocks Junkie Location: Near Raleigh, NC	You have split my sides __________________ bill hicks - "I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out."

06-09-2009, 08:47 AM	#6 (permalink)
Plan9 I Confess a Shiver	Brought to you by The Rev Jesse Jackson. __________________ *Whatever you can carry.* "You should not drink... and bake."

06-09-2009, 11:17 PM	#7 (permalink)
Crack Misanthropic Location: Ohio! yay!	I laughed. __________________ Crack, you and I are long overdue for a vicious bout of mansex. ~Halx

06-08-2009, 07:35 AM	#2 (permalink)
wooÐs Sitting in a tree Location: Atlanta	Aw, I thought this was gonna be good. lol

06-08-2009, 08:35 AM	#3 (permalink)
danbo Upright Location: Midwest	You're right; it offends me by not being funny.

06-10-2009, 03:08 AM	#8 (permalink)
Martian Young Crumudgeon Location: Canada	Geez, tough crowd. I chuckled. __________________ I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said - Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

06-10-2009, 03:46 AM	#9 (permalink)
Baraka_Guru warrior bodhisattva Super Moderator Location: East-central Canada	It's funny because the prime target is the listener. Some of the best humour comes out of that. __________________ Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing? —Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön Humankind cannot bear very much reality. —From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

06-10-2009, 04:05 AM	#10 (permalink)
mixedmedia has all her shots. Location: Florida	I know some people I'd like to use that on... __________________ Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

08-04-2009, 12:33 PM	#11 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	Q. What's the Cuban National Anthem? A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat... __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

08-04-2009, 05:59 PM	#12 (permalink)
blahblah454 Let's put a smile on that face Location: On the road...	squeeeb +1 uncle phil -1 Sorry phil!

08-05-2009, 12:44 AM	#13 (permalink)
wooÐs Sitting in a tree Location: Atlanta	oh see now I like that one lol

08-05-2009, 02:14 AM	#14 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	Q. What does it mean when the Post Office's flag is flying at half-mast? A. They're hiring __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

08-06-2009, 02:41 AM	#15 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	Q. Why do Driver Education classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? A. Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it... __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

08-10-2009, 11:31 AM	#21 (permalink)
IdeoFunk Crazy Location: to	lol well done phil __________________ ...out here in the perimeter there are no stars...

08-27-2009, 03:49 AM	#26 (permalink)
Titan_Uranus Insane Location: South Africa	y'all gonna make me wet my pants.

08-27-2009, 04:59 AM	#27 (permalink)
fresnelly Functionally Appropriate Location: Toronto	How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb? . . . . . . . . . THAT'S NOT FUNNY!! __________________ Building an artificial intelligence that appreciates Mozart is easy. Building an A.I. that appreciates a theme restaurant is the real challenge - Kit Roebuck - Nine Planets Without Intelligent Life

08-07-2009, 02:49 AM	#16 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	Q. What do you call a Mississippi farmer with a sheep under each arm? A. A pimp. __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

08-08-2009, 04:56 AM	#17 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	Q. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A. The southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe... __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

08-09-2009, 04:37 AM	#18 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	Q How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the ' F' word? A. Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell 'BINGO!' __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

08-10-2009, 02:45 AM	#19 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	Q. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A. A northern fairytale begins, 'Once upon a time...' and a southern fairy tale begins, 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit...' __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

08-10-2009, 08:09 AM	#20 (permalink)
Xerxys Junkie Location: My head.	I start most my stories with "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit ...", also.

08-11-2009, 02:58 AM	#22 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	Q. What did the Chinese couple name their retarded baby? A. Sum Ting Wong __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

08-26-2009, 06:48 PM	#23 (permalink)
LoganSnake We work alone Location: Cake Town	What do princess Diana and Pink Floyd have in common? Their last hit was the wall. __________________ Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future. Common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques

08-26-2009, 07:15 PM	#24 (permalink)
SSJTWIZTA Master Thief. Master Criminal. Masturbator. Location: Windiwana	<<< has TONS of racist jokes, but will refrain from using them. for some reason i think racist jokes are hilarious, no matter who they're directed towards. __________________ First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew. Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist. Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me. -Pastor Martin Niemoller

08-29-2009, 05:54 PM	#28 (permalink)
thesaurosie Upright Location: Sydney, Australia	What's worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 baby in 10 trash cans ^_^

08-29-2009, 10:24 PM	#29 (permalink)
julie0187 Upright Location: NC	This is how i like to answer the phone!!! Thank you for calling Julies abortion clinic you rape em, we scrap em!!!! __________________ ur money baby!!

09-01-2009, 08:33 PM	#30 (permalink)
Xerxys Junkie Location: My head.	Q: What did the blind gay guy say to the other guy when he was eating his ass out? A: "I can't see shit!"