uncle phil

A blonde said, 'I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid...'

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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

SSJTWIZTA

on occasions, when someone is off to the store, ill ask them to pick me up some blinker fluid.

sadly, this tricks more people than you would think.

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First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me.
-Pastor Martin Niemoller

kinsaj

Do not forget those muffler bearings!

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boom

InfiniteWisdom

Back when i was in job corps there would always be a few dim bulbs. We often got new people to go around campus looking for left-handed screw drivers, as well as lightbulb repair kits.

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Religion is an insult to human dignity. With or without it, you'd have good people doing good things and evil people doing bad things, but for good people to do bad things, it takes religion. ~ Steven Weinberg, Nobel Laureate in physics

danbo

Hahaha! When I was a young Marine, stationed at Marine Corps Air Station El Toro, CA, they tried something like that on me when I first got there. They told me to go get the keys to airplane #6.

I said, "ok" and walked out the door. Went to the rec center and played pinball for about 3 hours and finally went back. Told them I looked all over, but couldn't find the keys anywhere. Not a lot they could do to me, BTW.

SirLance

And, let's not forget the left-handed spanner!

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DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.