Questions That Keep Me Up At Night - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

uncle phil · 09-26-2008, 01:08 PM

If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Tully Mars · 09-26-2008, 01:11 PM

I always wanted to know why all the cartoon animals had shirts... but no pants.

Reese · 09-26-2008, 03:14 PM

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

When you put your 2 cents in, it's considered a tax free donation.. but when someone gives you a penny for your thoughts it's a purchase and sales tax applies..

uncle phil · 09-26-2008, 04:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cybermike

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

When you put your 2 cents in, it's considered a tax free donation.. but when someone gives you a penny for your thoughts it's a purchase and sales tax applies..

i "putt" corrected...

it's a golf thing...

genuinegirly · 10-06-2008, 10:57 PM

Shoplifting.
Yes.
They must have some sort of state or national political power.
The extra penny goes into a special social program for people who ask too many questions.
There are no clothes in eternity, unless you want them.
Round boxes are more expensive to produce.

Have fun sleeping tonight.

KellyC · 10-06-2008, 11:03 PM

The first question is winner.

Makedde · 10-07-2008, 02:29 AM

The one about Twinkle Twinkle and the alphabet got me. I started singing the song then I read the next line. Hahahaha. Yes, they do have the same tune, strangly enough.

09-26-2008, 01:08 PM	#1 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	Questions That Keep Me Up At Night If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting? Can you cry under water? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? Why does a round pizza come in a square box? What disease did cured ham actually have? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Why did you just try singing the two songs above? Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

09-26-2008, 01:11 PM	#2 (permalink)
Tully Mars Living in a Warmer Insanity Super Moderator Location: Yucatan, Mexico	I always wanted to know why all the cartoon animals had shirts... but no pants. __________________ I used to drink to drown my sorrows, but the damned things have learned how to swim- Frida Kahlo Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club

09-26-2008, 03:14 PM	#3 (permalink)
Reese Delicious	Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? When you put your 2 cents in, it's considered a tax free donation.. but when someone gives you a penny for your thoughts it's a purchase and sales tax applies.. __________________ “It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick” - Dave Barry

10-06-2008, 10:57 PM	#5 (permalink)
genuinegirly Eat your vegetables Super Moderator Location: Arabidopsis-ville	Shoplifting. Yes. They must have some sort of state or national political power. The extra penny goes into a special social program for people who ask too many questions. There are no clothes in eternity, unless you want them. Round boxes are more expensive to produce. Have fun sleeping tonight. __________________ "Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq "violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

10-06-2008, 11:03 PM	#6 (permalink)
KellyC Comment or else!! Location: Home sweet home	The first question is winner. __________________ Him: Ok, I have to ask, what do you believe? Me: Shit happens.

10-07-2008, 02:29 AM	#7 (permalink)
Makedde Tilted Location: Australia	The one about Twinkle Twinkle and the alphabet got me. I started singing the song then I read the next line. Hahahaha. Yes, they do have the same tune, strangly enough. __________________ Sun flames and moons glow, timeless the tides will flow, what will I face, what will be mine, fortune and fate the other side...