uncle phil

A man who just died is delivered to a Kentucky mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit. Bubba the mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. He points out that the man does look very good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives Bubba a blank check and says, "I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing."

The woman returns the next day for the viewing. To her delight she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly. She says to Bubba, "Whatever the cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?"

To her astonishment, Bubba presents her with the blank check. "Dere's no charge," he says.

"No, really, I must pay you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!" she says.

"Honestly, ma'am," Bubba says, "it didn't cost me a thing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his missus if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.

"So, I just switched the heads."

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

ottopilot

Good story, but why Kentucky?

Bubba is a nickname more common to the deep south from the Carolinas to Texas. I'm a Kentuckian. And while we deserve much of the country stereotypes out of the eastern Appalachian areas "(Scottish and Irish Lowlander heritage) like in "Deliverance", I wouldn't classify the state as southern culture. Kentucky is fairly diverse... Louisville is very similar to Omaha and Bowling Green is much like Memphis.

Here's some good Kentucky jokes:

• The "tooth brush" must have been invented in Kentucky ...because anywhere else, it would have been called the "teeth brush".
• What does the preacher say at the end of a Kentucky wedding? "You may now kiss yer sister"
• What did the Kentucky daughter say to her father when she woke from her nap? "Get off of me Daddy, yer crushin my smokes!"
• A Kentucky son joins his father in the fields. "Daddy, I'm marryin' the Johnson girl." The father gave his son a stern look and said, "I dunno boy. I hear tell she a virgin." The son says, "What's wrong with that?". The dad replies, "Hell, son! If she ain't good enough for her own kin, what makes you think she's any good for us?"

Reese

The larger towns in southern states are always much more cultured than the natives. Louisville and Bowling Green are both college towns and probably half of their population isn't native.

One good thing to remember about Kentucky, The farther east you go, the fewer teeth they have. Hell on the KY, WV border all the restaurants serve is apple sauce and cream corn with straws..

__________________
“It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick” - Dave Barry

Chiyachan

Didn't Kentucky make chicken too?