Superbowl jokes! - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Brewmaniac · 02-04-2007, 02:14 PM

Just a few from ChicagoSports.com

B - Beat
E - Everyone
A - After
R - Regular
S - Season

___

On a tour of Texas, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the coast for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the beach in the Pope-mobile when there was a frantic commotion just off shore.

A helpless man, wearing a Colts jersey, was struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 25-foot shark.

As the Pope watched horrified, a speedboat came racing up with three men wearing Bears jerseys. One quickly fired a harpoon into the sharks' side. The other two reached out and pulled the bleeding, semi-conscious, Colts fan from the water. Then using long clubs, the three Bears fans beat the shark to death and hauled it into the boat.

Immediately the Pope shouted and summoned them to the beach. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions," he told them. "I heard that there were some bitter hatred between the Indianapolis Colts and the Chicago Bears, but now I have seen with my own eyes that this is not true".

As the Pope drove off, the harpooner asked his buddies "Who was that"?

"It was the Pope", one replied. "He is in direct contact with God and has access to all of God's wisdom".

"Well," the harpooner said, "he may have access to God's wisdom, but he doesn't know anything about shark fishing! Is the bait holding up OK, or do we need to get another one?"

__

Bears fan was driving when he spotted a Colts fan walking along the road. For fun, he swerved near him, veering away just in time.
Though he was certain he had missed the guy, he heard a loud THUD.
The Bears fan glanced in his mirrors but didn't see anything. "What was that?" he asked friend in the back seat. "I thought I missed that Colts fan."
"You did" replied his friend, "But I got him with the door."

_

Peyton Manning, after living a full life, died.

When he got to heaven, God was showing him around.

They came to a modest little house with a faded Colts flag in the window. "This house is yours for eternity, Peyton," said God. "This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here."

Peyton felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a 3-story mansion with a blue and orange sidewalk, a 50-foot tall flagpole with an enormous Bears logo flag, and in every window, a Chicago Bears towel.

Peyton looked at God and said, "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I was an all-pro QB, I hold many NFL records, and I even went to the Hall of Fame."

God said, "So what's your point, Peyton?"

"Well, why does Rex Grossman get a better house than me?"

God chuckled, and said: "Peyton, that's not Rex's house, it's mine."

GO BEARS!!!

Lady Sage · 02-04-2007, 02:23 PM

GO BEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SirLance · 02-05-2007, 08:30 PM

All funny, but the pope one is the best! Thanks again Brew!

Deltona Couple · 02-06-2007, 06:31 AM

Personally I think these jokes are pretty ironic...considering the colts BEAT CHICAGO'S BUTTS!

GO COLTS!!!!!

Bill O'Rights · 02-06-2007, 07:03 AM

What really made the "God's house" joke funny was that everyone knows that God is a Steelers fan.

Meier_Link · 02-07-2007, 10:01 AM

You know, after watching the Superbowl post game, I thought it was funny that Tony Dungy was so adamant in thanking God for their win. That God was such a big help to them. I think if I was Lovie Smith, my response would have been something like this:

"Though this season my Dark Lord did not see fit to grant me a Superbowl win, I believe that next season, with an increased sacrificing of animals and virgins, his Infernal Majesty will lead us to victory!"

02-04-2007, 02:14 PM	#1 (permalink)
Brewmaniac Searching for the perfect brew!	Superbowl jokes! Just a few from ChicagoSports.com B - Beat E - Everyone A - After R - Regular S - Season ___ On a tour of Texas, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the coast for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the beach in the Pope-mobile when there was a frantic commotion just off shore. A helpless man, wearing a Colts jersey, was struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 25-foot shark. As the Pope watched horrified, a speedboat came racing up with three men wearing Bears jerseys. One quickly fired a harpoon into the sharks' side. The other two reached out and pulled the bleeding, semi-conscious, Colts fan from the water. Then using long clubs, the three Bears fans beat the shark to death and hauled it into the boat. Immediately the Pope shouted and summoned them to the beach. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions," he told them. "I heard that there were some bitter hatred between the Indianapolis Colts and the Chicago Bears, but now I have seen with my own eyes that this is not true". As the Pope drove off, the harpooner asked his buddies "Who was that"? "It was the Pope", one replied. "He is in direct contact with God and has access to all of God's wisdom". "Well," the harpooner said, "he may have access to God's wisdom, but he doesn't know anything about shark fishing! Is the bait holding up OK, or do we need to get another one?" __ Bears fan was driving when he spotted a Colts fan walking along the road. For fun, he swerved near him, veering away just in time. Though he was certain he had missed the guy, he heard a loud THUD. The Bears fan glanced in his mirrors but didn't see anything. "What was that?" he asked friend in the back seat. "I thought I missed that Colts fan." "You did" replied his friend, "But I got him with the door." _ Peyton Manning, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded Colts flag in the window. "This house is yours for eternity, Peyton," said God. "This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here." Peyton felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a 3-story mansion with a blue and orange sidewalk, a 50-foot tall flagpole with an enormous Bears logo flag, and in every window, a Chicago Bears towel. Peyton looked at God and said, "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I was an all-pro QB, I hold many NFL records, and I even went to the Hall of Fame." God said, "So what's your point, Peyton?" "Well, why does Rex Grossman get a better house than me?" God chuckled, and said: "Peyton, that's not Rex's house, it's mine." GO BEARS!!! __________________ "That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son" Last edited by Brewmaniac; 02-04-2007 at 02:22 PM..

02-04-2007, 02:23 PM	#2 (permalink)
Lady Sage Mistress of Mayhem Location: Canton, Ohio	GO BEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! __________________ If only closed minds came with closed mouths. Minds are like parachutes, they function best when open. It`s Easier to Change a Condom Than a Diaper Yes, the rumors are true... I actually AM a Witch. Last edited by Lady Sage; 02-04-2007 at 02:26 PM..

02-05-2007, 08:30 PM	#3 (permalink)
SirLance Junkie Location: In the middle of the desert.	All funny, but the pope one is the best! Thanks again Brew! __________________ DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.

02-06-2007, 06:31 AM	#4 (permalink)
Deltona Couple Addict Location: Spring, Texas	Personally I think these jokes are pretty ironic...considering the colts BEAT CHICAGO'S BUTTS! GO COLTS!!!!! __________________ "It is not that I have failed, but that I have found 10,000 ways that it DOESN'T work!" --Thomas Edison

02-06-2007, 07:03 AM	#5 (permalink)
Bill O'Rights will always be an Alyson Hanniganite Location: In the dust of the archives	What really made the "God's house" joke funny was that everyone knows that God is a Steelers fan. __________________ "I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony "Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.

02-07-2007, 10:01 AM	#6 (permalink)
Meier_Link Psycho Location: in a state of confusion	You know, after watching the Superbowl post game, I thought it was funny that Tony Dungy was so adamant in thanking God for their win. That God was such a big help to them. I think if I was Lovie Smith, my response would have been something like this: "Though this season my Dark Lord did not see fit to grant me a Superbowl win, I believe that next season, with an increased sacrificing of animals and virgins, his Infernal Majesty will lead us to victory!" __________________ life is a sexually transmitted disease