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Brewmaniac · 02-04-2007, 02:14 PM

Just a few from ChicagoSports.com

B - Beat
E - Everyone
A - After
R - Regular
S - Season

___

On a tour of Texas, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the coast for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the beach in the Pope-mobile when there was a frantic commotion just off shore.

A helpless man, wearing a Colts jersey, was struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 25-foot shark.

As the Pope watched horrified, a speedboat came racing up with three men wearing Bears jerseys. One quickly fired a harpoon into the sharks' side. The other two reached out and pulled the bleeding, semi-conscious, Colts fan from the water. Then using long clubs, the three Bears fans beat the shark to death and hauled it into the boat.

Immediately the Pope shouted and summoned them to the beach. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions," he told them. "I heard that there were some bitter hatred between the Indianapolis Colts and the Chicago Bears, but now I have seen with my own eyes that this is not true".

As the Pope drove off, the harpooner asked his buddies "Who was that"?

"It was the Pope", one replied. "He is in direct contact with God and has access to all of God's wisdom".

"Well," the harpooner said, "he may have access to God's wisdom, but he doesn't know anything about shark fishing! Is the bait holding up OK, or do we need to get another one?"

__

Bears fan was driving when he spotted a Colts fan walking along the road. For fun, he swerved near him, veering away just in time.
Though he was certain he had missed the guy, he heard a loud THUD.
The Bears fan glanced in his mirrors but didn't see anything. "What was that?" he asked friend in the back seat. "I thought I missed that Colts fan."
"You did" replied his friend, "But I got him with the door."

_

Peyton Manning, after living a full life, died.

When he got to heaven, God was showing him around.

They came to a modest little house with a faded Colts flag in the window. "This house is yours for eternity, Peyton," said God. "This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here."

Peyton felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a 3-story mansion with a blue and orange sidewalk, a 50-foot tall flagpole with an enormous Bears logo flag, and in every window, a Chicago Bears towel.

Peyton looked at God and said, "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I was an all-pro QB, I hold many NFL records, and I even went to the Hall of Fame."

God said, "So what's your point, Peyton?"

"Well, why does Rex Grossman get a better house than me?"

God chuckled, and said: "Peyton, that's not Rex's house, it's mine."

GO BEARS!!!

02-04-2007, 02:14 PM	#1 (permalink)
Brewmaniac Searching for the perfect brew!	Superbowl jokes! Just a few from ChicagoSports.com B - Beat E - Everyone A - After R - Regular S - Season ___ On a tour of Texas, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the coast for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the beach in the Pope-mobile when there was a frantic commotion just off shore. A helpless man, wearing a Colts jersey, was struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 25-foot shark. As the Pope watched horrified, a speedboat came racing up with three men wearing Bears jerseys. One quickly fired a harpoon into the sharks' side. The other two reached out and pulled the bleeding, semi-conscious, Colts fan from the water. Then using long clubs, the three Bears fans beat the shark to death and hauled it into the boat. Immediately the Pope shouted and summoned them to the beach. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions," he told them. "I heard that there were some bitter hatred between the Indianapolis Colts and the Chicago Bears, but now I have seen with my own eyes that this is not true". As the Pope drove off, the harpooner asked his buddies "Who was that"? "It was the Pope", one replied. "He is in direct contact with God and has access to all of God's wisdom". "Well," the harpooner said, "he may have access to God's wisdom, but he doesn't know anything about shark fishing! Is the bait holding up OK, or do we need to get another one?" __ Bears fan was driving when he spotted a Colts fan walking along the road. For fun, he swerved near him, veering away just in time. Though he was certain he had missed the guy, he heard a loud THUD. The Bears fan glanced in his mirrors but didn't see anything. "What was that?" he asked friend in the back seat. "I thought I missed that Colts fan." "You did" replied his friend, "But I got him with the door." _ Peyton Manning, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded Colts flag in the window. "This house is yours for eternity, Peyton," said God. "This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here." Peyton felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a 3-story mansion with a blue and orange sidewalk, a 50-foot tall flagpole with an enormous Bears logo flag, and in every window, a Chicago Bears towel. Peyton looked at God and said, "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I was an all-pro QB, I hold many NFL records, and I even went to the Hall of Fame." God said, "So what's your point, Peyton?" "Well, why does Rex Grossman get a better house than me?" God chuckled, and said: "Peyton, that's not Rex's house, it's mine." GO BEARS!!! __________________ "That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son" Last edited by Brewmaniac; 02-04-2007 at 02:22 PM..