Driving - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

GoldenOuroboros · 06-09-2003, 02:53 PM

A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady forty miles per hour. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice. "Darling," he says. "I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce."

The wife says nothing, keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 45 mph.

The husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out of it," he says, because I've been having an affair with your best friend, and she's a far better lover than you are."

Again the wife stays quiet, but grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55.

He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently.

Up to 60.

"I want the car, too," he continues.

65 mph.

"And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat." The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete wall. This makes him a wee bit nervous, so he asks her: "Isn't there anything you want?"

The wife at last replies - in a quiet and controlled voice. "No, I've got everything I need." she says.

"Oh, really?" he enquires, "so what have you got?" Just before they slam into the wall at 75 mph, the wife turns to him and smiles.

"The airbag."

cchris · 06-09-2003, 04:59 PM

Ooohh yeah

vermin · 06-09-2003, 10:20 PM

Chicks always have to have the last word.

hotzot · 06-09-2003, 11:19 PM

oh I don't know, he must have must have said "splat"

bravo49 · 06-10-2003, 02:05 AM

Best one yet

txgirl · 06-10-2003, 09:19 AM

THAT is good!

mykockle · 06-10-2003, 09:23 AM

nice one... will have to share that with my wife

Peetster · 06-10-2003, 09:25 AM

Good one! Thanks!

Brewmaniac · 06-10-2003, 09:43 AM

Sounds like my wife! She says if she ever catches me cheating she will kill me in my sleep! I think she means it too!

CSflim · 06-10-2003, 10:20 AM

Muhahahahahahaha!!!! That was superb! Funniest thing I've heard in ages!

Bill O'Rights · 06-10-2003, 10:59 AM

That was funny...Gotta share this one.

06-09-2003, 02:53 PM	#1 (permalink)
GoldenOuroboros The Cheshire Grin... Location: An Aussie Outback	Driving A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady forty miles per hour. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice. "Darling," he says. "I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce." The wife says nothing, keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 45 mph. The husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out of it," he says, because I've been having an affair with your best friend, and she's a far better lover than you are." Again the wife stays quiet, but grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55. He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently. Up to 60. "I want the car, too," he continues. 65 mph. "And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat." The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete wall. This makes him a wee bit nervous, so he asks her: "Isn't there anything you want?" The wife at last replies - in a quiet and controlled voice. "No, I've got everything I need." she says. "Oh, really?" he enquires, "so what have you got?" Just before they slam into the wall at 75 mph, the wife turns to him and smiles. "The airbag." __________________ Can you see me grin grin grrriiiiinnnning?!

06-09-2003, 04:59 PM	#2 (permalink)
cchris Junkie Location: Sydney	Ooohh yeah __________________ There's a fine line between participation and mockery

06-09-2003, 10:20 PM	#3 (permalink)
vermin Indifferent to anti-matter Location: Tucson, AZ	Chicks always have to have the last word. __________________ If puns were sausages, this would be the wurst.

06-09-2003, 11:19 PM	#4 (permalink)
hotzot We're having potato pancakes! Location: stalag 13	oh I don't know, he must have must have said "splat" __________________ The Bully Boys are here!

06-10-2003, 09:43 AM	#9 (permalink)
Brewmaniac Searching for the perfect brew!	Sounds like my wife! She says if she ever catches me cheating she will kill me in my sleep! I think she means it too! __________________ "That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son"

06-10-2003, 02:05 AM	#5 (permalink)
bravo49 Junkie Location: chocolate city	Best one yet

06-10-2003, 09:19 AM	#6 (permalink)
txgirl so many men...so little time. Location: Bellingham	THAT is good!

06-10-2003, 09:23 AM	#7 (permalink)
mykockle Crazy Location: Denver CO	nice one... will have to share that with my wife

06-10-2003, 09:25 AM	#8 (permalink)
Peetster Right Now Location: Home	Good one! Thanks!

06-10-2003, 10:20 AM	#10 (permalink)
CSflim Sky Piercer Location: Ireland	Muhahahahahahaha!!!! That was superb! Funniest thing I've heard in ages! __________________

06-10-2003, 10:59 AM	#11 (permalink)
Bill O'Rights will always be an Alyson Hanniganite Location: In the dust of the archives	That was funny...Gotta share this one. __________________ "I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony "Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.