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Old 07-26-2006, 06:21 AM   #1 (permalink)
Searching for the perfect brew!
 
Brewmaniac's Avatar
 
New Diet

I used to have a Labrador retriever &

I was buying a large bag of Purina

at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The

Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't

because I'd ended up in the hospital last time,

but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened

in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out

of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet

and that the way that it works is to load your

pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply

eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that

the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone

in the line was by now enthralled with my story.

Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned.

I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
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Old 07-26-2006, 08:56 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Location: Pensacola
What a great joke!
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Old 07-26-2006, 06:38 PM   #3 (permalink)
Go faster!
 
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Location: Wisconsin
I totally laughed out loud on this one! One of the more genuinely funny things I've heard in a while!
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Old 07-26-2006, 07:43 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Good one Brewmeister. I was expecting a beer diet.
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Old 07-26-2006, 08:10 PM   #5 (permalink)
Insane
 
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Location: Ontario, Canada
I'm so going to do that on my next Walmart trip.
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Old 07-29-2006, 01:00 AM   #6 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Location: Canada
yup ... i laugh'd out loud as well ... great one !
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Old 07-30-2006, 08:20 PM   #7 (permalink)
Junkie
 
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Location: In the middle of the desert.
Oh that's funny! lmao!
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