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New Diet
I used to have a Labrador retriever &
I was buying a large bag of Purina
at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The
Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't
because I'd ended up in the hospital last time,
but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened
in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out
of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet
and that the way that it works is to load your
pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that
the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone
in the line was by now enthralled with my story.
Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned.
I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
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"That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son"
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