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04-20-2003, 01:41 PM
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#1 (permalink) |
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Insane
Location: Beautiful Van Nuys, California
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The plane
A 767 is flying over the Atlantic. The engine fails, and the plane starts to go down. The stewardess runs into the cockpit, rips off her blouse and screams at the captain, "Please! Before I die, make me feel like a real woman!" The captain stands up, rips off his shirt and says, "Okay, iron this."
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justMike |
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04-21-2003, 04:17 PM
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#6 (permalink) |
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Tilted
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got another airplane joke to add to that one.
A blonde gets on an airplane with a coach class ticket, but sits down in first class. I guy gets on the plane with the ticket for the seat she is sitting in. The guy says miss your in my seat and she replys "Im blonde, beautiful, and going to Miami and refuse to sit in the back of the plane." The man goes to the flight attendant and who goes to the blonde and asks her to move and she comes back with the same reply as before so the flight attendant goes to the captain and explains the situation to him. The captain thinks for a minute and then gets up and goes to the blonde and whispers something in her ear. The girl immediatly gets up and goes to her seat in the back. The man and the flight attendant are both amazed and asked what he said to her. He said "I simply told her the front of the plane wasnt going to Miami." |
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10-22-2003, 06:25 PM
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#21 (permalink) |
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Banned
Location: Sunny S.FLA
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dude....it could be alot better... you gotta draw it out
A plane is hurtling toward the ground after both its wings are struck by lightning. The passengers start praying and panicing. one woman stands up in the aisle and screams: I want my final minutes to be memorable. Ive had plenty of sex, but no ones made me feel like a woman! Can any man here do that? The plane goes silent. The passengers forget their own peril, and stare, riveted, at the woman. Then a tall, dark and handsome guy at the back of the plane stands up. Honey, I can make you feel like a woman, he says. He walks up the aisle, slowly unbuttoning his shirt. No one moves. The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the man approaches. He takes off his shirt. Her lips part slightly. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches out to the trembling woman, extending his arm holding the shirt, and whispers... Iron this. |
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10-23-2003, 06:24 PM
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#23 (permalink) |
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The Ultimate Badass
Location: Tampa
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yea that would be the funniest last moments of my laugh
__________________
"The laws that keep us safe, these same laws condemn us to boredom. Without access to true chaos, we'll never have true peace. Unless everything can get worse, it won't get any better. This is all the stuff the Mommy used to tell him. She used to say, "The only frontier you have left is the world of intangibles. Everything else is sewn up too tight." Caged inside too many laws. By intangibles, she meant the Internet, movies, music, stories, art, rumors, computer programs, anything that isn't real. Virtual realities. Make-believe stuff. The culture. The unreal is more powerful than the real. Because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. Because it's only the intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. Stone crumbles. Wood rots. People, well, they die." |
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11-14-2003, 08:26 PM
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#33 (permalink) |
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Oracle & Apollyon
Location: Limbus Patrum
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Feel Like A Woman
On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it.
Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die!" she wails. Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of sex in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I've had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??" For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel like a woman," he says. He was gorgeous. Tall, built, with long, flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves. The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the strange man approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers in a deep husky voice: "Iron this."
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La Disciplina È La Mia Spada, La Fede È Il Mio Schermo, Non salti Ciecamente In Incertezza, E Potete Raccogliere Le Ricompense. |
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