The plane
 

A 767 is flying over the Atlantic. The engine fails, and the plane starts to go down. The stewardess runs into the cockpit, rips off her blouse and screams at the captain, "Please! Before I die, make me feel like a real woman!" The captain stands up, rips off his shirt and says, "Okay, iron this."

damn! she must of been UGLY!

Hahahaha!!1 Thhanks

must have been a long time ago for her to be a "stewardess" !!!

funny story

*ROFL* Man... that's so not right. Still, funny! :D

got another airplane joke to add to that one.

A blonde gets on an airplane with a coach class ticket, but sits down in first class. I guy gets on the plane with the ticket for the seat she is sitting in. The guy says miss your in my seat and she replys "Im blonde, beautiful, and going to Miami and refuse to sit in the back of the plane." The man goes to the flight attendant and who goes to the blonde and asks her to move and she comes back with the same reply as before so the flight attendant goes to the captain and explains the situation to him. The captain thinks for a minute and then gets up and goes to the blonde and whispers something in her ear. The girl immediatly gets up and goes to her seat in the back. The man and the flight attendant are both amazed and asked what he said to her. He said "I simply told her the front of the plane wasnt going to Miami."

Damn straight!

She's goin' to Miami! But not on the front of the plane!!! Sounds like something that would really happen! :eek:

Hehe, Nice.

hehe seen this one... still good though

Good one

both jokes are good, and that last one i think is more of a blonde joke... but still damn funny

both awesome. lol.

I like it!

good stuff! but i'm with you Mexican, she better have been one ugly girl!

Hahahahahahahahahaha

LOL

saved.

thanks

I liked them both. Thanks!

HAHA Thats some funny shit. Thanks and keep 'em coming :)

hehe

dude....it could be alot better... you gotta draw it out

A plane is hurtling toward the ground after both its wings are struck by lightning. The passengers start praying and panicing. one woman stands up in the aisle and screams: I want my final minutes to be memorable. Ive had plenty of sex, but no ones made me feel like a woman! Can any man here do that?
The plane goes silent. The passengers forget their own peril, and stare, riveted, at the woman. Then a tall, dark and handsome guy at the back of the plane stands up.
Honey, I can make you feel like a woman, he says. He walks up the aisle, slowly unbuttoning his shirt. No one moves. The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the man approaches. He takes off his shirt. Her lips part slightly. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches out to the trembling woman, extending his arm holding the shirt, and whispers... Iron this.

hehe

yea that would be the funniest last moments of my laugh

that is a great one and yeah the chick must've been butt ugly for someone to react like that

Good ones!

lol, nice

Oh man thats funny!

I've also heard it where Janet Reno and Rush Limbaugh are in a rapidly falling elevator.

-Mikey

heheh all fo them good :)

Yay awesome :D

just me, maybe, and certainly not as funny, but I think the captain should have hit first, before telling her to iron his shirt (or asking her to do any other number of post-sex demeaning things we expect of women)

Heard it b4 in it's many guises but still funny

Feel Like A Woman
 

On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it.

Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die!" she wails.

Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of sex in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I've had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??"

For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.

Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel like a woman," he says. He was gorgeous. Tall, built, with long, flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves. The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the strange man approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers in a deep husky voice: "Iron this."

hehehehehe

heard it... but it always makes me laugh...

Very funny, but this should be in the one liner section IMO (wherei think you can find this joke at least once).

Funny, but my wife does not like the punch-line for some unknown reason...

yeah...same joke three times on one thread..funny joke...gets old

Funny, sexist, and silly. I liked it.

CLASSIC, thanks for the gem.

Haha, I had a good laugh off that one, g/f hated it, ha.