hunnychile

25 SIGNS YOU HAVE GROWN UP (for those people here who are over 35 years old!)

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up."
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door
won't turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps...especially on Sunday afternoons.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset,
rather than settle, your stomach.
19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacids, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good shit."
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never ever going to drink that much again."
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh shit, what the hell happened, dude?"

Bonus:
26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that
doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old ass, thinkin' "Wow, what a b*@^&...".

Dedicated to my favorite friend y.n.h.!!

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"I need compassion, understanding and chocolate." - NJB

maleficent

AH HA!! I got one...
Frosted Flakes or Fruit Loops makes a great dinner... as do pancakes, waffles, and scrambled eggs...

Whew...

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StanT

25 SIGNS YOU HAVE GROWN UP (for those people here who are over 35 years old!)

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.

That's a sign that I'm married, not grown up.

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.

sez who?

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."

Jeans and any shirt with a collar are as dressed up as I get. Weddings and funerals excepted.

10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door
won't turn down the stereo.

My stereo can kick their stereo's ass

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.

My dog eats better than I do.

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.

Who needs a movie?


23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

And here


25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh shit, what the hell happened, dude?"

Actually, at my age "Oh shit, what the hell happened" is appropriate, again

abaya

If you want to try and reverse some of these, just go back for graduate school like I did...

E.g. I still eat cereal for dinner on a regular basis, and I have far more than 14 days of vacation. And I love having sex in a twin bed (in my furnished efficiency).

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

ngdawg

. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
Nah, I was too lazy to take care of'em, so I let'em die. THAT'S a sign of old age
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
Having sex in ANY bed is out of the question
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
But the wine amount has increased lately
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
Not this old broad. I can still stay up til six, but no one wants to with me.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
So far, Muzak hasn't managed to Mangle 'Legs' by ZZTop
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
NEVER!!! But spouse does and Discovery Channel and History Channel(and falls asleep)
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up."
Some die too
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
And all spent on something to do with the house
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
Hell, dressed up to me is a nice t-shirt with no stains. Really dressed up is clean shoes added
10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door
won't turn down the stereo.
Nope. That'd be me. In the car. Announcing my arrival with various tunes.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
Yea, my dad sends them in emails.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
Hm...No I don't, actually
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
No car payments but guess we're not grown up yet-insurance went UP this year
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
Dog died. You know you're grown up when he says, 'no more pets' and you don't sneak one home anyway.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
Waking UP on the couch makes everything hurt
16. You take naps...especially on Sunday afternoons.
Naps keeps the wrinkles away
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
Who can afford a movie??
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset,
rather than settle, your stomach.
But eating a fistful of cookies makes it feel better
19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacids, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
Thank GAWD!!!!
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good shit."
No, but an $8 bottle of wine is superb
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
No way! Bacon and eggs for dinner is THE best!
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never ever going to drink that much again."
I couldn't drink the way I used to when I used to drink that way!!
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
Work???
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
Hell, I don't even go to bars anymore!!! It's like crashing a frat party!
25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh shit, what the hell happened, dude?"
More like finding out a friend is a new grandparent......

Ok, so I'm slightly grown-up, but I will NEVER be mature!!!!!

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Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.