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What video game character would it suck the most to be?
Now you guys are gunna think I'm a bit nutty but hear me out. It has gotta suck to be Cloud!
C'mon you guys know that I am right! His hunny got sheesh-kebobed on disc one! He didn't even get a chance to get that close to her! How much would that suck and hurt? And yet he knows he hasta press on to stop Sephiroth. It's gotta suck, least I think so. EDIT - What PLAYABLE video game character would it suck msot to be? (This nulls the hostage thing for cs) |
*shrug* he got some from Tifa didnt he? good enough for me
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i would have to say Max Payne, he lost everything and has nothing to lose
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From The Onion: Video Game Character Wondering Why Heartless God Always Chooses 'Continue'
ORANGEBURG, SC—Solid Snake, tactical-espionage expert and star of PlayStation's "Metal Gear Solid," questioned the nature of the universe Monday when, moments after his 11th death in two hours, a cruel God forced him to "Continue" his earthly toil and suffering. The rest is here. http://www.theonion.com/onion3726/vi...character.html |
Raiden from Metal Gear Solid 2, must be tough lookin' more like a girl than your girlfriend.
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Luigi ?
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Eh, while luigi is bad (always being second best in Mario) im gunna have to go with any of the hostages from CounterStrike. I mean think about it, atleast one dies almost ever round. Everyone always uses them as body shields, and even if the CTs rescue all of them safely...the cycle still continues.
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im still going with Max payne. he gets his baby and wife murderd by crack heads right infront of him, not to mention the dreams he has. he also finds out he is nothing but a video game character. he gets betrayed by everyone, his only friends get killed infront of him...should i go on?
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Anyone who gets nut-punched by Jonny Cage in Mortal Kombat :D
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What about that one guy in FF7 who's arm got shot off at the same time as Barret's, only he fell down that canyon. Then afterwards he jumps off another canyon because he's so depressed about his life. THAT has got to be the worst-case-scenario videogame character.
Then again you can always say the Koopa Troopas in Super Mario Bros. |
as always, i can't give one answer.
cloud strife. poor fucker. / any Tony Hawk Proskaters... that's gotta hurt something fierce... / how about Minc's little giant minature space hamster? hmmmm. i'd say Ganon. he always looses. he never has enough sense to use magick that doesn't harm himself. he does the same thing every three to five years. it's just gotta suck.... |
Toad, from Super Mario Bros. 2. I mean, for crying out loud he just sucks. He's a mushroom!
You ever wonder if Mario and Luigi have tried to smoke Toad? Just light him up with one of those fire-flowers... :D |
Any cop from the GRAND THEFT AUTO series.....they always seem to find a way to get shot.......HEHEHE.
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Tingle from Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask/Wind Waker.
Cause he fucking sucks and doesn't know it. |
Tidus from Final Fantasy X
Because if I was that chocked full of Teenage Angst and annoying girlish whining, I'd most likely have to pop off and shoot myself |
PEOPLE PEOPLE I SAID PLAYABLE CHARACTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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The snake from the game "Snake". Eat, eat eat, grow, grow, grow, avoid walls, everything is dark, and in the end his head gets crushed. And all along he knows it's coming.
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I'd have to say Luigi, especially from the first SMB. Nobody wanted to be him in a two player game. He just gets no respect.
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The guy controlling all the missles in Missle Command. You think that if the fate of our WHOLE world depended on these missles being shot down that they would give you a bit more to work with than ONE freakin' launcher! I mean... COME ON PEOPLE! One of those cities get's destroyed and it's ALL YOUR FAULT! AT LEAST A MILLION PEOPLE DIE AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE YOU MISSED THAT LITTLE NUKE THAT WAS SPEEDING TOWARD YOUR AUNT MILDRED'S HOME! :: pant pant :: I'm done now....
yea... it would suck to be him. |
Umm, how about pac-man. You're all yellow & round, eateateateat those little pills, with fricking ghosts chasing you? Damn, no way! Don't even bother eating the ghosts, little dude, cuz they're only gonna get faster, and faster...
And I'd despise living in a maze. And yeah, arguably, you've got ms. pac-man as a companion. But neither of you has genitalia. Plus, she's not even in the same game as you. That's got to be frustrating. What a tease she is, with that saucy little bow on her head. |
The guy from Deadly Towers for the NES. If it takes you 20 thwacks with your sword to kill the first bad guys that cross your path, you are pretty much screwed.
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BOWSER, I mean how many times do you have to beat a guy before he gets it? And you figure the princess would figure a way to not get kidnapped by now but thats a whole different thread...
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Little Mac from Punch Out. Because in reality no white guy could take Piston Honda.
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Luigi, just cause that damn mario has a shitload of games, and I only have one. "Its a me, Luigi" "Excuse me who?"
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I agree, Luigi lives in his own hell. No one ever wanted to pick Luigi in Super Mario Bros, he just happened to be the character for second player. At least he looks like he could beat up Mario...
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Princess Toadstool. How many times has she been kidnapped by Bowser now? Shit, that HAS to suck.
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How about being the board in Pong? Everyone takes you for granted and blames you when they miss...
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Pong isnt a hero though....Lugi dudes....he always is seccond best to mario. Except in Luigi's mansion which i havent played but sounds extremley gay. My final vote has to go to Gordon Freeman from Halflife...dudes how many times did you save a game a a jump and had to keep reloading it because you would land wrong and go splat...or blown to bits by a grenade round...i rest my case!!!
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ok im going back to the top with cloud....but i think aeris was the least of his problems do you remember a little part in the game where he figures out he isn't really who he thinnks he is and that he's some useless sephiroth clone..im sorry thats a mid-life crisis sitaution a tad harder to swallow than his girlfriend dying
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It would suck the most to be the pilot of the spaceship on ASTEROIDS b/c smashing into space rocks has to suck. Especially if you warped right in front of them.
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What about Tails in Sonic the Hedgehog? Hell Knuckles was cooler than that faggot.
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have to agree with crackpot..
it would suck to be Pac-man.. funny thing is, I thought of him after I had read the first post ;) glad to see someone else thought the same way. |
Klonoa. Always stepping on my ears, and questioning my sexuality while collecting nice shiny rings? no way!
Rayman. My arms! where the hell are my ARMS?!?! KHAAAAAANNN!!!!!!! Sonic. Sure, I can run fast and I have like three honeys, but we all have HEADS THE SIZE OF MOONS! aaaaaugh! I'm FALLING OVER! |
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Phew, really covered my ass there. |
Max Payne hands down
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Yeah. Max Payne. Even being able to spontaneously produce bullet time can't compare to having your entire life destroyed like that.
Another good one would be the DOOM guy. Sure, you're a badass, but your entire life is pixelated. |
LOL, "ARGH! Demon Spawn of Legos!"
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poor old max payne
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being any princess in any video games sucks, your guarenteed to be kidnapped.
but there is no gaurentee your gonna be saved. |
Munch of Oddworld fame...damn cripple
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What about Bob the Cherub from messiah? You're a baby wearing a diaper, and your only means of defense is posessing other people... aside from that, id have to say Megaman, simply because of the amounts of stamina it must take to go through that many sequels.
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Luther from SSX Tricky.
He's fat. He has a mullet. No one likes him except this one french guy. People make fun of him all the time. Plus, the way I play, he ends up smashing into the snow with his face alot. |
The frog in Frogger!!! (...chess rules...)
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How about Daxter from Jak and Daxter? All you'd get to do is cling onto the back of this elf kid and spit out 1 liners...by the way you can play as him in Jak 2...where he'll be a whole lot cooler.
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Lara Croft and I would be a HUGE FRIGGEN LESBO!
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Someone may have said this.. i didnt get a chance to read every reply... but I would say
the guy from the Dragons lair series hehehe |
Definitely Luigi. He wants Peach's heart and pussy but his fat brovva is ahead of him.
He comes across as miserable and sad. It would suck to be Luigi. He's also a C-list vg character who's sibling to two troublemakers and a Superstar, who is, in passing, the face of Nintendo. That's gotta be stresseful for poor ol' humble Lu'!!! :P |
It'd be a really bum deal to be Max Payne, but I think it'd be a lot worse to be the Marine from Doom and Doom II. To be sent into the bowels of Hell itself, facing all sort of inconceivable evil, and then coming home to good ol' Earth and facing the same thing all over again in the sequel...that's bad enough...
...But how would you like to face all that without being able to jump, look up or down, or aim worth a dime!! I tell you, even Gordon Freeman had it better than the Doom Marine, even with his own country's army after him! Plus, the Marine's bunny got killed! Get your hands off me, damn dirty hellspawn! GD you all to...um...yea...:lol: |
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ANYONE in the Postal games -- especially when I play...
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Donkey Kong because he has no balls.
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Link from the Zelda series. The princess keeps getting kidnapped by the guy who he thought he kiled in the previous game, and after all that trouble, he gets almost no credit. They name the game after her! 'Cleverly' inserting teh word "Link" into titles is not credit. Talk about no respect.
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I second the vote for Frogger. Basically just keep trying to cross the road until you get splattered...
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It has to really suck to be Mario, all that work to rescue the princess and the most he ever got was a kiss on the cheek at the end of M64?
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Jin from the tekken series. His father wants him dead and his grandfather wants him captured, if you can't trust family who can ya trust?
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We all know that Peach took it up the ass at the end of the credits-it's just that knowing Nintendo's 'kiddy image' we never got to see it! :p |
Barbie, people only like her for her boobs and she has to hang around with ken all day.
In case you think that no one would make a barbie video game, http://pocket.ign.com/articles/376/376162p1.html |
Oh, I know about that barbie video game alright.
The games magazine that I used to read (CVG-Computer and Video Games) bought a copy and susequently burned it! Not before playing and then sentencing it, mind you... |
Ms. Packman. An 80's attempt to take a fairly successful game and 'liberate' it for the ladies. How very sad.
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I think it would suck to be the master chief from halo. He's all bad ass and stuff but imagine having to get up everyday and walk into a nearly suicidal battle against an entire army, and having to watch all your marines die and theres the fact that all he's gotten to do his entire life is train and fight and thats probably all he'll ever do
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Mark Hammond from The Getaway or Max Payne...
Barret from FF7, too. /Rodney on I just get no repect! /Rodney off |
Ever play skifree? that poor skier gets eaten by the big gray monster with the lazer gun EVERY SINGLE TIME. He knows it is coming, but can't do anything about it. plus, i mean, he's rendered very poorly.
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Q-Bert -- all he can do is jump around, and everyone else in his world tries to kill him.
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I'd say Max Payne
(everytime you think you're doing well against the bastards who killed your family you get drugged up and have to listen to the baby cry for half an hour, all your friends die, everyone who tries to help you dies, and you realize you're not real. And To top it all off, its bloody cold out) |
Crono from Chrono Trigger.. Why? If you've played the game, then you know that at part of teh game he HAS TO DIE. no if ands or buts about it, he DIES. Shit his friends can continue thru the game and just let him stay dead. Thats gotta suck.
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Second that vote for Lara Croft. Look, you can go get artifacts better than Indiana Jones. You are a better acrobat than any olympic gymnast in history. You're more cunning than Bugs Bunny. A better and faster shot than Doc Holiday. Still, all anyone can remember about you is your great cans! Not to mention that you have a new game coming out and more people are interested in watching Bob Ross painting shows than playing it!
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I think being the DOOM guy would be by far the worst...no matter how much ass he kicks he always goes back to hell.
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I'd say Abe from Oddworld, having to just constantly be on the run from all sorts of fiends, and being all skinny with a sewn up mouth, and some would argue that it would be cool to be Abe, cause he becomes a messiah, but its an involuntary messiah, and to have to deal with unwanted responsibility is a huge chore.
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I'll third Lara Croft. She has to lug around a backpack full of weapons and ammo, she has to constantly jump in the water with her clothes on then run around or climb ladders to dry off instead of just getting a fresh new outfit. It's a wonder she keeps any nails and her braid is so old school ;)
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The ship running from Sinistar. That game used to creep me out.
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If anyone has played through Planescape: Torment, they would know the answer to this is simply The Nameless One. That is all.
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Somehow I always end up feeling sorry for the scientists in Half-Life.
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man, i'd have to pick tingle
the single gayest videogame character in history. i want him to be a character in the next smash bros so i can kick the crap out of him with Link. |
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also I recomend this game to anyone that hasn't played it and likes story based RPGs |
Cloud Strife
He faces an illusionary world created by his lack of difinitive success in which he strived to achieve. Not only this, but one of the girls that he really cared for (one might even say love) was cut down by someone he looked up to for years. His home town and everyone in it were also destroyed by the same person. Not only did he do this, but he also played mind games with Cloud, leading him almost to the breaking point of insanity. He plays on his emotions and uses his illusionment against him and turns his mind into putty, able to be molded however he sees fit; he actually was controlling his mind a couple times. The list goes on and on, but the main point is; it would suck to be Cloud Strife |
Gotta go with "Contestant One!" in S.M.A.S.H. TV. Sure he got "big money" and "big prizes" - but he ultimately never got to keep any of 'em.
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The guy from Bolderdash - always getting crushed, by the earth no less...
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I would have to say the worst playable character has got to be Q-Bert. WTF?! He can't do didly squat but jump around on some block crap and avoid baddies. What a life.... or maybe it would have to be the driver from Stuntman. I mean, this f@cking guy can't do ANYTHING right for the director. It's always, "CUT, Take 54, Roll it." and he has to put up with the sass from the director and makes PEANUTS. NOT to mention contending with the extras that are driving! They can't even alter course they're so retarded. Why not improvise and avoid a premature head on collision..... |
thats a tough one. Either Boy from Boy AND his Blob. or the guy from CONTRA (I'm old schoolin this answer with them 8-bit NES titles...sorry)
Boy because he has to rely on a puddle of amorphis goo that is hooked on jellybeans. An ungrateful blob at that. sure hes happy when you feed him but when hes not paying attention and misses on sheeee-it he won't come near you. ass. But seriously, what game character do you know that can't jump, or at least swim. The guy from Contra, because of the one hit kills thing. its gotta suck to know you died from someone headbutting you in the foot. |
I say Luigi Definatly the all time second best second string charicter. He wrote the book on it and set the standard.
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Luigi is always second best. They should have a game where he murders Mario and kidnaps the Princess, and you have to pick how he kills him.
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btw - I am da Tekken Masta |
I have to say Vemps from Giants Citizen Kabuto. You walked around in a heard basicly waiting for someone to eat you, throw you into the sky like a skipping stone, or steal your soal.
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Max Payne most definately.
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Edward from Final Fantasy 4. Not only can he not fight, but he is on the emotional level as a pregnant woman. YOU SUCK!
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Billy Lee from Double Dragon. Is my brother fighting along side me? or is he kidnapping my GF and trying to kill me? Well it all depends on which version of the game I'm in... I'm soo confused.
(On a side note I miss the DD games. They should make new ones) |
Oh and how could I forget being played by the guy from Party of Five in the movie version of Double Dragon?
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I'm putting in another vote for Abe of the Oddworld games.
Somebody mentioned Munch of the same series but I think Abe's got it worse. Munch takes 2nd place for that. Besides, Munch isnt a cripple, he just needs to use the wheelchair to get around because hes got no legs, but a fin. So yeah, being either character would suck because you die multiple horrible deaths until the player figured out how to solve the damn puzzle. And of course near all the puzzles are solved via trial-and-error. Poor guys. Cant help but love em, though. |
lol max payne....true
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now that i think about it thou....i gotta go with king hippo ...
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Pikachu.
You're an anime cartoon-lookin' creature who's trapped inside a pokeball until your master decides it's time for you to fight. Then people are always making jokes about you, and hatin' you because you're so cute. Then you morph and evolve into other versions of you, which must hurt while you're making the switch. Let's not forget you're the "Timmy" of video games, where you can only say your name...it's hard to make friends when all you do is talk about yourself. |
eh for me i would have to say the worst video game charicter to be would be ryo hazuki
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well MGS2's Raiden and FFX's Tidus both look like chicks. Thats gotta suck. Was Tidus modeled to look like Meg Ryan? Damn...
But BomberMan's gotta have it pretty tough... How many times has he committed suicide, blowing himself up? |
Mario
at least in Mario Bros. 1 I mean, he goes through tons of levels and stages, only to be met by a mushroom at the end and say "sorry, princess isnt here, so go on to fight another koopa" oy~.. |
I'd hate to be anyone in a Resident Evil game
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If you wanna go newskool, I'd vote Voodoo Vince. It must suck to have to stab yourself in the face to make any of your abilities work.
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There really is no contest, Max Payne wins by a long shot.
Oh, and Ken from Street Fighter. Goddamn he was a fucking pussy. |
Cloud from FF7, for already stated reasons.
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