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Old 01-28-2006, 03:42 PM   #281 (permalink)
With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much
 
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We need more cowbell in this thread!
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Old 01-28-2006, 04:12 PM   #282 (permalink)
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We need more spanish curse words in this thread!

Cabron!
Me cago en las tetas de la Virgen María para que el Niño Jesús chupe mierda!
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Old 01-28-2006, 04:49 PM   #283 (permalink)
Minion of the scaléd ones
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by flyman
i know exactly what would shut this thread down.............


.....it is.........."all about the ass"........


know what i'm sayin'?
I have two words for you, my friend: Duct Tape. Know what I'm sayin?
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Old 01-28-2006, 04:52 PM   #284 (permalink)
Minion of the scaléd ones
 
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No they do not need more cowbell. They are just fine as they are.

This thread, on the other hand.

Donk...

Donk...

Donk...Donk...

Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...
Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...
Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...
Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...
Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...
Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...
Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...
Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...
Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...
Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...
Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...
Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...
Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...
Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...
Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...Donk...


(Well, technically, it's a bull bell.)
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Old 01-29-2006, 02:31 AM   #285 (permalink)
And we'll all float on ok...
 
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I got so drunk last night, I pissed my bed. And on the floor besides my bed. Shiiiiiiit.
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Old 01-29-2006, 05:29 AM   #286 (permalink)
Sky Piercer
 
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Fake French In Nine (Neuf) Easy Lessons
One way to say nothing while impressing people who aren't listening is to speak Fake French. Fake French lends you all the cachet of speaking French without tedious memorization or stupid Berlitz records lying around the house.
Besides, no one learns real French any more because the British already have a language they can't understand and don't speak well - English.


Lesson Un. Articles
Use 'le' or 'la' in place of 'the', 'a', and 'an' to make anything you say sound sophisticated.

Examples:
'Have le nice day.'
'What la fuck?'
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Old 01-29-2006, 05:32 AM   #287 (permalink)
Sky Piercer
 
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Location: Ireland
Lesson Deux. Prepositions

All English prepositions can be replaced with the French prepositions 'a' and 'de' which mean 'at', 'of', 'with', 'on', and anything else you want them to mean because we're not really trying to speak French, so who cares?

Examples:
'I'll have le cheeseburger a la french fries.'
I can't. It's my time de month.'

Throw in 'chez', 'sur', 'dans', and 'avec', too, if you feel like it.

Example:
'I can't. It's chez avec my time sur dans de month, asshole.'
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Old 01-29-2006, 05:33 AM   #288 (permalink)
Sky Piercer
 
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Lesson Trois: Pronouns

'I' is 'je' when it's the subject of the sentence and 'moi' when you're being silly. 'You' is 'vous'. 'We' is 'nous'.

Examples:
'Moi loves vous.' - Fake French in its ultimate form.
'Nous go over to la house de moi?'
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Old 01-29-2006, 05:34 AM   #289 (permalink)
Sky Piercer
 
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Location: Ireland
Lesson Quatre: Nouns

Use as many as you can recall from high school French, whether you remember the correct translation or not.

Examples:
'Soir of the living dead.'
'Drinks on the maison!'
'No use crying over spilt au lait.'
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Old 01-29-2006, 05:35 AM   #290 (permalink)
Sky Piercer
 
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Location: Ireland
Lesson Cinq: Modifiers

All French adjectives and adverbs mean 'lots of', e.g., 'tres', 'plus', 'beaucoup', et cetera. Use them everywhere.

Examples:
'I've tres de had too much plus to drink beaucoup.'
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Old 01-29-2006, 05:37 AM   #291 (permalink)
Sky Piercer
 
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Location: Ireland
Lesson Six (Say 'Sees'): Verbs

There's only one French verb of any note; 'faire', meaning 'make', 'do', 'be', 'become', 'create', and so on and so forth. The construction 'faire de-' turns any English word into a French verb.

Examples:
'Je faire de whoopee.'
'Vous faire de blowjob.'
'Nous faire le hell out of here.'

Any English word can also be turned into a French verb by adding '-ez vous' to the end of it.

Examples:
'Fixez-vous le drink.'
'Fixez-vous le drink plus.'
'Fuckez-vous moi.'
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Old 01-29-2006, 05:38 AM   #292 (permalink)
Sky Piercer
 
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Location: Ireland
Lesson Sept: Negation

'No' is said in French by forming the construction 'Ne' [verb] pas'.

Example:
'Ne run vous hand up moi jamb pas or je smackez vous plus dans le mouth beaucoup.' (Note garbled word order to aid in 'foreign' sound.)
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Old 01-29-2006, 05:39 AM   #293 (permalink)
Sky Piercer
 
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Location: Ireland
Lesson Huit: Advanced Fake French
To give the impression of a really through-going fluency, translate all your favourite English phrases into literal French with a pocket dictionary.

Examples:
'frapper la rue'
'droit sur'
'donnez moi one fracture'
'hors de vue'
'Qu'est-ce que votre signe?'
'Pas merde'
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Old 01-29-2006, 05:41 AM   #294 (permalink)
Sky Piercer
 
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Location: Ireland
Lesson Neuf: Fake French In Action

Below is the transaction of a message from Babs Muddleprep, a sophomore at Bennington, to her older sister, Puffy, in Santa Barbara (Babs left the message on Puffy's answering machine by calling it back six times). The first version is given in English. The second version is in Fake French. Notice how much more, well, je ne sais quoi the second version is:

Message from Babs to puffy, translated into English:
'I had a long talk with mother last night. There's good news and bad news.She's not drinking as much lately, but she's still really cheesed about the mess we left in her apartment. Did I tell you about the dress I found in Bendel's? It's so cool. But I couldn't afford it at all so I charged it to Mummy. Now she'll be pissed to the max. Have to hit the books now - French Final is tomorrow and must do well because the professor is to die over. Also, I flunked the midterm. Love you bunches. See you in Sun Valley.'

Message from Babs to Puffy in its original Fake French:
'Je faire le beaucoup chatez avec la Mother last soir. There est the news bien and the news mal. She's ne drinking pas as beaucoup lately mais she's still plus de fromaged about le mess we left dans le apartment hers. Did I teliez vous about le chemise je trouvez at le Bendel's. It's tres froid. Mais je ne affordez pas it at all so je chargez a Mama. Now she'll be pissoired a la maximum. Have to frapper les libres now examination terminal de la francais is demain and must faire bon because le professor est to mort sur. Aussi, je flunked le term-midi. Je t'aime beaucoup. See vous dan le Valle du Soleil.'
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Old 01-29-2006, 03:22 PM   #295 (permalink)
Wicked Clown
 
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Location: House Of Horrors
...long...
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Old 01-29-2006, 03:22 PM   #296 (permalink)
Wicked Clown
 
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Location: House Of Horrors
...live...
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Old 01-29-2006, 03:23 PM   #297 (permalink)
Wicked Clown
 
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Location: House Of Horrors
...this...
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Old 01-29-2006, 03:24 PM   #298 (permalink)
Wicked Clown
 
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Location: House Of Horrors
...thread...
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Old 01-29-2006, 04:16 PM   #299 (permalink)
 
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wow! 4 pages in 2 or 3 days. i'm impressed! haha.
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Old 01-29-2006, 04:17 PM   #300 (permalink)
 
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post 300 !!! weeee
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Old 01-29-2006, 05:10 PM   #301 (permalink)
Crazy
 
I'll bite.

Let's go
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Old 01-29-2006, 05:11 PM   #302 (permalink)
Crazy
 
I'm taking over two pages. Eight and Nine.
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Last edited by FailedEagle; 01-29-2006 at 05:53 PM..
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Old 01-29-2006, 05:11 PM   #303 (permalink)
Crazy
 
I'll do it by simply reciting a song . . . One word at a time. Until the song is complete. Then I'll post the song all together.
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Old 01-29-2006, 05:22 PM   #304 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: Just got into town about an hour ago.
Chickens@@!!! UhhhHh ..... smellllLlLll..... uhhhh... i need to cut my toenails... urrmmm.. pudding... swimming lessons... umm.. theres a little black train a coming, coming down the track, you gotta ride that little black train but it ain't gonna bring you back.
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Old 01-29-2006, 05:23 PM   #305 (permalink)
Crazy
 
"Son,"




. . . . . . . .
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Old 01-29-2006, 05:23 PM   #306 (permalink)
Crazy
 
I



. . . . . . . .
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Old 01-29-2006, 05:23 PM   #307 (permalink)
Crazy
 
she



. . . . . . . .
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Old 01-29-2006, 05:24 PM   #308 (permalink)
Crazy
 
said,



. . . . . . . .
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Old 01-29-2006, 05:24 PM   #309 (permalink)
Crazy
 
"Have



. . . . . . . .
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Old 01-29-2006, 05:25 PM   #310 (permalink)
Crazy
 
a



. . . . . . . .
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Old 01-29-2006, 05:25 PM   #311 (permalink)
Crazy
 
little



. . . . . . . .
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Old 01-29-2006, 05:26 PM   #312 (permalink)
Crazy
 
story



. . . . . . . .
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Old 01-29-2006, 05:26 PM   #313 (permalink)
Crazy
 
for



. . . . . . . .
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Old 01-29-2006, 05:26 PM   #314 (permalink)
Crazy
 
you.



. . . . . . . .
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Old 01-29-2006, 05:27 PM   #315 (permalink)
Crazy
 
What



. . . . . . . .
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Old 01-29-2006, 05:27 PM   #316 (permalink)
Crazy
 
you



. . . . . . . .
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Old 01-29-2006, 05:28 PM   #317 (permalink)
Crazy
 
thought



. . . . . . . .
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Old 01-29-2006, 05:28 PM   #318 (permalink)
Crazy
 
was



. . . . . . . .
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Old 01-29-2006, 05:29 PM   #319 (permalink)
Crazy
 
your



. . . . . . . .
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Old 01-29-2006, 05:29 PM   #320 (permalink)
Crazy
 
daddy



. . . . . . . .
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