Did your moms make your clothes? funny website - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

ShaniFaye · 05-11-2005, 01:32 PM

My mother sent me this site today

http://www.threadbared.com/

someone has taken patterns from the 40's-80's and written little commentaries about the pictures.

What makes this so funny to me is that my mother made all my clothes from birth to age 12 (1968-1980) and some even later than that.

She collected patterns from anyone and everywhere so some of these I remember seeing in her sewing room even though she didnt make them.

I have to confess I had the dress from the 80's section in many different materials (loved her commentary about the prom date) and also the Calico "laura ingalls" dress.

I hope there is at least one person here that gets as big a kick out of this as I did, it will make posting it worth it, cause I laughed until I about fell off the bed when I was looking at it.

K-Wise · 05-11-2005, 01:54 PM

Quote:

Excuse me, m'am....sir.* Excuse me.* Yes, you.* Hi.* Hi there.* I was wondering...you see, I think I may be in a bit of a jam here.* It's just that, well, I can't seem to feel my fingers...or my toes.* Hell, I can't even bend my knees.* It also seems that I can't turn my head at all.* The hairy chested man with the camera that keeps chatting up my mom says to keep smiling.* I'm doing the best I can, but frankly I'm a little concerned.* Since I can't look down, I was wondering, could you tell me: do I still HAVE fingers and toes?* I mean are they missing or just numb?*

What?* What was that?* I look like an idiot in this stupid red suit?* Is that what you said?* Look asshole, I didn't ASK you for your opinion.* I simply asked you to verify the existence of my appendages.* Why do you have to get all snarky?* It's not like I chose this outfit, you moron.* But a kid's gotta make a living.* My mom's in between meal tickets right now and ever since that fucking babyface Artie stole the Gerber campaign, I've had to lower my standards a bit.* Besides, can't you read?* I am "Baby of the Year."* Baby of the YEAR, man.* Don't you get that?*

What?* I look like a what?* A giant inflamed whitehead?* Look, jackass, as soon as I find my hands I'm gonna show you EXACTLY which finger is my favorite.

Asta!!

ShaniFaye · 05-11-2005, 02:30 PM

this was the text with one of my favs, the sweater, I also love the one from the 40's about making your own hospital gown.

Quote:

Awwww…look at the happy couple in the matching sweaters. So cute, so sweet, so carefree…and, wait, are they also wearing matching corduroy pants? Yes! Yes, they are! Are they not the perfect picture of adorableness?

But wait…what….what IN THE HELL is going on in the background? Is it the apocalypse? The Second Coming? Is there a cold wind blowing and the terrified screams of lost souls swirling all around them?

I have the feeling that any minute now they’re going to turn around and realize what’s happening…..

”Wha…..huh...what the? AAAAGGGGHHH! Forget the chunky thermal sweaters....it’s the RAPTURE! For fuck’s sake everyone, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!”

Cartuni · 05-11-2005, 02:31 PM

My favorite is the last one on the 60s page: "Moments later they were all taken in a back alley and savagely beaten....". Great site - thanks!

K-Wise · 05-11-2005, 08:02 PM

I LOVE the sweater one too lol. Also the one from the 80's I believe with the guys with small heads and HUGE shoulders.

Asta!!

paddyjoe · 05-12-2005, 03:36 AM

I'll have you know, I still sport that jacket on the left with pride!

Joan of Arc · 05-12-2005, 07:08 AM

It brought all sorts of memories. I've made most of those patterns. I love the 70's look-alike ladies.

Astrocloud · 05-12-2005, 07:58 AM

I got a GOOD MUCH NEEDED CHUCKLE thanks.

ShaniFaye · 05-12-2005, 08:09 AM

this one is good too

With her kicky new suspenders and darling hairstyle, Wendy was a shoe-in for "least likely to get felt up by a cute boy behind the cafeteria at summer camp."

maleficent · 05-12-2005, 12:22 PM

Yah, but suspenders like that really made the boobage area look more pronounced

Now, I'm feeling old - -I had more than one dress like this, the big old ugly butt bow screams bridesmaid dress (wore one in green) and wore others by choice..

and it was either my junior prom or winter formal in high school, maybe homecoming... I wore that dress, only it was in blue. Gunne Sax was very fashionable at one point...

this is one of the funniest websites I've seen...

ShaniFaye · 05-12-2005, 12:26 PM

Its interesting to know we wore the same dresses lol

I had the polka dotted one in MANY ways, black with white dots and vice versa, red with white dots and vice versa, hot pink with dots...well you get the point, I think I had about 12 dresses from the same pattern. The calico one was green.

paddyjoe · 05-12-2005, 12:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maleficent

boobage area

These two words just work so well together..........

Squishor · 05-14-2005, 01:30 PM

That site has me giggling like a maniac!

“Awww…hey kid, whur ya going? Don be like dat! I’m fine, jeesh fine! Lesh play a game together….I’ll totally shpank yuh ass at Quarters! Naw? Howshabout Power Hour? Hey…HEY…where ya goin? I jush wanna be ya friend….jeeesh….”

ShaniFaye · 05-17-2005, 02:57 PM

you think Dave would wear one of these?

write up for this one

Quote:

I don't know if it's the squinty eyes, the butterscotch combover, the manboobs, or his pre queer eye knack for putting together a look that pops, but this Tudor Jerkin guy is H-O-T. That handlebar mustache isn't hurting anything either. And what woman doesn't love a man who sees the world through amber colored glasses? Don't you just want to rip off this stud's belted horizontal ribbed sweater, red tie, pink textured stripe button down, and red lacy corset? What? You don't think he's wearing a corset? Take it from someone who knows: You don't get cleavage like that without some support.

He's holding on to his belt for dear life and HOLDING HIMSELF IN because if he doesn't, his corset/shirt/sweater layercake is going to explode in a passionate burst of manly eroticism

bernadette · 05-17-2005, 04:02 PM

shanni, i saw this the other day & forgot to come back here to post to tell you:
great find!!!

*loves it*

infamous13 · 05-18-2005, 03:41 PM

that doll in the website is pretty hot with the bedaspread
but how in the world do you get a name like jerkin without changing it

ShaniFaye · 05-26-2005, 02:50 PM

ok, so I cant post the picture of myself (I was only 9)....but I was the princess (made from this pattern) halloween of 1977

Um. I don't really remember Darth Vader being cross-eyed though. Or, actually, having eyes at all, now that I think about it.

Hmmmm.

ShaniFaye · 08-10-2005, 10:30 AM

Here is a new one thats really funny

Quote:

Oooooooh, what have we here? A Butterick Sew And Go Caftan? A Butterick Sew and Go Caftan for Mary Walsh? Oh, what a lucky gal she is! Mary Walsh!

But wait! There's a some scribbling there on the right, some kind of notation. "Toolong!" Huh. What in hell does "toolong" mean? Better consult the dictionary.

La la la la.......flipping through our handy Oxford-English.....and there's...no such word as...."toolong."

OH! "Too-long!" The caftan is too long! Now I've got it.

Hmmm. Yes, "too long" indeed. It is an excellent idea to make helpful notes on your patterns though, something to serve as reminders in the future, something to keep you from making the same mistake twice. We can think of dozens of helpful hints that we would add to such a pattern! In addition to "Too Long" we would like to suggest:

Too Wide.

Too Ugly.

Too Voluminous.

Too Much of A Resemblance To A Shower Curtain I Used To Own.

Too Many Blank Stares From Your Children When They Come Home From School And Find You Wearing It.

Too Large To Wear Grocery Shopping Without The Save Rite Managers Accusing You Of Hiding Loaves of Bread In Your Outfit.

Too Many People Are Going To Be Reminded Of Mrs. Roper From "Three's Company."

mystmarimatt · 08-10-2005, 11:33 AM

Oh my God...I miss the '80's

ObieX · 08-10-2005, 12:48 PM

The kid's heads song was by far the most disturbing...

Quote:

Kid heads kid heads

Roly poly kid heads

Kid heads kid heads

Eat them up

Yum

In the morning laughing happy kid heads

In the evening floating in the soup

Ask a kid head anything you want to

They won't answer they can't talk

I took a kid head out to see a movie

Didn't have to pay to get it in

They can't play baseball they don't wear sweaters

They're not good dancers they don't play drums

Roly poly kid heads are never seen

Drinking cappuccino in Italian restaurants

with Oriental women

Yeah.

ShaniFaye · 12-21-2005, 10:48 AM

more from the genius of threadbared.com which has announced they will be publishing a book next year!!!!!!! hehehehe yes...oh yes I will def be buying it

Even Worse Than That Dream Where You Show Up Naked For Your Algebra Test and You HAVEN'T EVEN STUDIED FOR AN ALGEBRA TEST!

In pattern modeling there's many looks that can be demonstrated.

For example:

Vaguely Attractive Yet Inexplicably Dorky.

Smug For Absolutely No Reason.

Waiting For The Mothership To Land.

Completely Drunk And Making Passes At The Groom's Nephew.

And lastly there's......

Totally Horrified And Burning With Shame At the Realization That She Has Come To School Dressed Like This.

Poppinjay · 12-21-2005, 10:58 AM

"Little girl, you know why they call this yarn "Red Heart", don't you"? It's named that because factory workers rip out the heart of a tiny baby bunny rabbit and squeeze a drop of baby bunny rabbit blood into each and every batch of yarn. That's what give "Red Heart" it's special sheen.

Now, you tell anyone that I shared this information with you and I swear to God I'll bite that cute little button nose right off your face? You got it, kid?"

Thank you for posting this, ShaniFaye! I can now waste the rest of my worday.

skier · 12-21-2005, 03:52 PM

This one is my favorite

Grasshopper Green · 01-08-2006, 07:21 PM

Oh my gawd...I'm dying laughing. The one on the bottom of the 80s with the little girl is hilarious. The first thing I thought of when I saw it was she was smoking

Brilliant Idiot · 01-09-2006, 12:30 PM

OMG! I used to actually own some of these patterns!

05-11-2005, 01:32 PM	#1 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	Did your moms make your clothes? funny website My mother sent me this site today http://www.threadbared.com/ someone has taken patterns from the 40's-80's and written little commentaries about the pictures. What makes this so funny to me is that my mother made all my clothes from birth to age 12 (1968-1980) and some even later than that. She collected patterns from anyone and everywhere so some of these I remember seeing in her sewing room even though she didnt make them. I have to confess I had the dress from the 80's section in many different materials (loved her commentary about the prom date) and also the Calico "laura ingalls" dress. I hope there is at least one person here that gets as big a kick out of this as I did, it will make posting it worth it, cause I laughed until I about fell off the bed when I was looking at it. __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

05-11-2005, 08:02 PM	#5 (permalink)
K-Wise It's All About The Ass!! Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!	I LOVE the sweater one too lol. Also the one from the 80's I believe with the guys with small heads and HUGE shoulders. Asta!! __________________ "I love music and it's my parents fault (closing statement)." - Me..quoting myself...from when I said that...On TFP..thats here...Tilted Forum Project *It ain't goodbye, it's see ya later! I'll miss you guys!* - Asta!!

05-12-2005, 07:08 AM	#7 (permalink)
Joan of Arc Tilted	It brought all sorts of memories. I've made most of those patterns. I love the 70's look-alike ladies. __________________ "Insanity and Genius are on the same side of the street"

05-12-2005, 08:09 AM	#9 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	this one is good too With her kicky new suspenders and darling hairstyle, Wendy was a shoe-in for "least likely to get felt up by a cute boy behind the cafeteria at summer camp." __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

05-12-2005, 12:22 PM	#10 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	Yah, but suspenders like that really made the boobage area look more pronounced Now, I'm feeling old - -I had more than one dress like this, the big old ugly butt bow screams bridesmaid dress (wore one in green) and wore others by choice.. and it was either my junior prom or winter formal in high school, maybe homecoming... I wore that dress, only it was in blue. Gunne Sax was very fashionable at one point... this is one of the funniest websites I've seen... __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

05-11-2005, 02:31 PM	#4 (permalink)
Cartuni Upright	My favorite is the last one on the 60s page: "Moments later they were all taken in a back alley and savagely beaten....". Great site - thanks!

05-12-2005, 03:36 AM	#6 (permalink)
paddyjoe through charlatans phone Location: Northcoast	I'll have you know, I still sport that jacket on the left with pride!

05-12-2005, 07:58 AM	#8 (permalink)
Astrocloud Apocalypse Nerd	I got a GOOD MUCH NEEDED CHUCKLE thanks.

05-12-2005, 12:26 PM	#11 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	Its interesting to know we wore the same dresses lol I had the polka dotted one in MANY ways, black with white dots and vice versa, red with white dots and vice versa, hot pink with dots...well you get the point, I think I had about 12 dresses from the same pattern. The calico one was green. __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

05-14-2005, 01:30 PM	#13 (permalink)
Squishor Frontal Lobe Location: California	That site has me giggling like a maniac! “Awww…hey kid, whur ya going? Don be like dat! I’m fine, jeesh fine! Lesh play a game together….I’ll totally shpank yuh ass at Quarters! Naw? Howshabout Power Hour? Hey…HEY…where ya goin? I jush wanna be ya friend….jeeesh….” Last edited by Squishor; 05-14-2005 at 03:59 PM..

05-17-2005, 04:02 PM	#15 (permalink)
bernadette ::::::::::::::::::::::::: :. Location: this ain't kansas, toto	shanni, i saw this the other day & forgot to come back here to post to tell you: great find!!! loves it __________________ .:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

05-18-2005, 03:41 PM	#16 (permalink)
infamous13 Upright	that doll in the website is pretty hot with the bedaspread but how in the world do you get a name like jerkin without changing it

05-26-2005, 02:50 PM	#17 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	ok, so I cant post the picture of myself (I was only 9)....but I was the princess (made from this pattern) halloween of 1977 Um. I don't really remember Darth Vader being cross-eyed though. Or, actually, having eyes at all, now that I think about it. Hmmmm. __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

08-10-2005, 11:33 AM	#19 (permalink)
mystmarimatt Omnipotent Ruler Of The Tiny Universe In My Mind Location: Oreegawn	Oh my God...I miss the '80's __________________ Words of Wisdom: If you could really get to know someone and know that they weren't lying to you, then you would know the world was real. Because you could agree on things, you could compare notes. That must be why people get married or make Art. So they'll be able to really know something and not go insane.

12-21-2005, 10:48 AM	#21 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	more from the genius of threadbared.com which has announced they will be publishing a book next year!!!!!!! hehehehe yes...oh yes I will def be buying it Even Worse Than That Dream Where You Show Up Naked For Your Algebra Test and You HAVEN'T EVEN STUDIED FOR AN ALGEBRA TEST! In pattern modeling there's many looks that can be demonstrated. For example: Vaguely Attractive Yet Inexplicably Dorky. Smug For Absolutely No Reason. Waiting For The Mothership To Land. Completely Drunk And Making Passes At The Groom's Nephew. And lastly there's...... Totally Horrified And Burning With Shame At the Realization That She Has Come To School Dressed Like This. __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

12-21-2005, 10:58 AM	#22 (permalink)
Poppinjay You had me at hello Location: DC/Coastal VA	"Little girl, you know why they call this yarn "Red Heart", don't you"? It's named that because factory workers rip out the heart of a tiny baby bunny rabbit and squeeze a drop of baby bunny rabbit blood into each and every batch of yarn. That's what give "Red Heart" it's special sheen. Now, you tell anyone that I shared this information with you and I swear to God I'll bite that cute little button nose right off your face? You got it, kid?" Thank you for posting this, ShaniFaye! I can now waste the rest of my worday. __________________ I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet

12-21-2005, 03:52 PM	#23 (permalink)
skier Rawr! Location: Edmontania	This one is my favorite __________________ "Asking a bomb squad if an old bomb is still "real" is not the best thing to do if you want to save it." - denim

01-08-2006, 07:21 PM	#24 (permalink)
Grasshopper Green ...is a comical chap Location: Where morons reign supreme	Oh my gawd...I'm dying laughing. The one on the bottom of the 80s with the little girl is hilarious. The first thing I thought of when I saw it was she was smoking __________________ "They say that patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings; steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king" Formerly Medusa

01-09-2006, 12:30 PM	#25 (permalink)
Brilliant Idiot Tilted	OMG! I used to actually own some of these patterns!