Gross/ Disgusting Story Thread (NSFWS = Not Safe For Weak Stomachs) - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Daoust · 05-01-2005, 09:46 AM

So I'm sick. I've got this cold that has been hanging on for at least three weeks, without a word of lie. Right now it's in the cough stage.

Some people think coughing itself is gross. It doesn't bother me much, but lately I've been coughing like a smoker, and each time I've been bringing up that dark, green, thick almost spongey shit that gathers in the recesses of your lungs. Those of you who have been really sick or smoke like a chimney know this phlegm.

Anyway, today I was just walking around my living room, and all of a sudden I started hacking, and I felt this big wad of phlegm coming. The thing was, it came up, and it just flew up and out like projectile vomit, this one thick wad of green grossness.

The next part you can visualize in slow motion, just like in the movies, because that's what it seemed like. The wad came up and out so fast, and yet out of sheer reaction, I lunged after it, hoping to catch it before it hit the ground with a splat. I don't know why I wanted to catch it, but at the time I did. However, the green goo gob eluded my swipes and landed with a thud on the clickboard laminate flooring. If it had been carpet it would have never come out. Of course, I couldn't leave it there, and I wanted to get rid of it before the wife saw it (even though I flirted with the idea of showing it to her) so I just grabbed a wet nap and dabbed it up. Of course it all came up together because it was so thick.

This story isn't as gross sounding as it was in real life. But I just felt like sharing it because it's Sunday, and what the crap. So as to make it a thread where you can contribute, I offer you the opportunity to tell your sick, disgusting, gross-me-out story. This is Tilted Nonsense, but keep your stories to a first or second hand experience.

Charlatan · 05-01-2005, 12:47 PM

Sounds like you have what I had... the cough is really gross.

Fremen · 05-01-2005, 02:08 PM

I can empathize. I've coughed up some gunk that would choke a horse.
It's amazing how much better you feel after the shit flies out, too.

wolf · 05-02-2005, 04:35 AM

you need a good expectorant, like robitussin.

Daoust · 05-03-2005, 03:01 AM

Well here's my rant of the day... I went to the doctor yesterday. The first time I've been to a doctor in SIX YEARS. I figure I deserve some kind of award for not congesting up doctors waiting rooms for no reason like most people do. I waited and waited until I had a legitimate list of problems to take to the doc.

So what happens?

Issue #1. Doc's reply "It's nothing really. Here's a perscription that might not work"

Issue #2. Doc's reply "It's fine. You'll get over it."

Issue #3. (Perceived issues with prostate, something I assume might be serious) Doc's reply "If it persists, come back."

Thanks A LOT! No wonder I hate doctors. No wonder I never go to the doctors. I might as well just not bother. The thing is, I'll end up leaving something that will turn out to be serious, and I'll end up going into emergency and the doctor will say "why didn't you get this checked out earlier????"

The health care industry is definitely going through some struggles!

bernadette · 05-04-2005, 10:56 AM

doctors & insurance companies sure DO SUCK the wang.
i refuse to go see a doc unless it's the emergency room & thank goodness i haven't required stitches or anything else in a long time.

green snot sounds like an <font color="green" size="5"><b>infection</b></font>, which requires antibiotics.
FUCK going to the doctor for a pharmaceutical Rx.
head straight to the drug store or grocery & pick up a bottle or box of GARLIC tablets. (they make an odorless version, btw). GARLIC works as a natural antibiotic. i've sworn by it for years now. lots of people swear by garlic.

hope you feel better soon, ya booger blowing snot face!

(not intended to be rude. this is the nonsense forum, so i had to add something silly, right?)

Charlatan · 05-04-2005, 11:17 AM

bernie said, "suck the wang"... hehehe

By the way Bern... Daoust is in Canada so while he has to deal with doctors and their wonky opinions he, thankfully, does not have to deal with insurance companies... I thank my lucky stars about once a week that I don't have to worry about healthcare costs like some people do...

Daoust · 05-05-2005, 02:52 AM

Yes. Point taken, Charlatan. I am very thankful for that. I guess I have gotten to the point of taking our health care for granted. Well, not the system, really. Just doctors who won't medicate me. I want the drugs, dammit!

Edit: Bernadette said "suck wang" huh. huh huh. huh. heh. heh.

05-01-2005, 09:46 AM	#1 (permalink)
Daoust "I'm sorry. What was the question?" Location: Paradise Regained	Gross/ Disgusting Story Thread (NSFWS = Not Safe For Weak Stomachs) So I'm sick. I've got this cold that has been hanging on for at least three weeks, without a word of lie. Right now it's in the cough stage. Some people think coughing itself is gross. It doesn't bother me much, but lately I've been coughing like a smoker, and each time I've been bringing up that dark, green, thick almost spongey shit that gathers in the recesses of your lungs. Those of you who have been really sick or smoke like a chimney know this phlegm. Anyway, today I was just walking around my living room, and all of a sudden I started hacking, and I felt this big wad of phlegm coming. The thing was, it came up, and it just flew up and out like projectile vomit, this one thick wad of green grossness. The next part you can visualize in slow motion, just like in the movies, because that's what it seemed like. The wad came up and out so fast, and yet out of sheer reaction, I lunged after it, hoping to catch it before it hit the ground with a splat. I don't know why I wanted to catch it, but at the time I did. However, the green goo gob eluded my swipes and landed with a thud on the clickboard laminate flooring. If it had been carpet it would have never come out. Of course, I couldn't leave it there, and I wanted to get rid of it before the wife saw it (even though I flirted with the idea of showing it to her) so I just grabbed a wet nap and dabbed it up. Of course it all came up together because it was so thick. This story isn't as gross sounding as it was in real life. But I just felt like sharing it because it's Sunday, and what the crap. So as to make it a thread where you can contribute, I offer you the opportunity to tell your sick, disgusting, gross-me-out story. This is Tilted Nonsense, but keep your stories to a first or second hand experience. __________________ I have faith in a few things - divinity and grace But even when I'm on my knees I know the devil preys

05-01-2005, 12:47 PM	#2 (permalink)
Charlatan Getting it. Super Moderator Location: Lion City	Sounds like you have what I had... the cough is really gross. __________________ "My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke

05-01-2005, 02:08 PM	#3 (permalink)
Fremen With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much Location: left side of my couch, East Texas	I can empathize. I've coughed up some gunk that would choke a horse. It's amazing how much better you feel after the shit flies out, too. __________________ Google

05-02-2005, 04:35 AM	#4 (permalink)
wolf Ravenous Location: Right Behind You	you need a good expectorant, like robitussin. __________________ Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as Gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

05-03-2005, 03:01 AM	#5 (permalink)
Daoust "I'm sorry. What was the question?" Location: Paradise Regained	Well here's my rant of the day... I went to the doctor yesterday. The first time I've been to a doctor in SIX YEARS. I figure I deserve some kind of award for not congesting up doctors waiting rooms for no reason like most people do. I waited and waited until I had a legitimate list of problems to take to the doc. So what happens? Issue #1. Doc's reply "It's nothing really. Here's a perscription that might not work" Issue #2. Doc's reply "It's fine. You'll get over it." Issue #3. (Perceived issues with prostate, something I assume might be serious) Doc's reply "If it persists, come back." Thanks A LOT! No wonder I hate doctors. No wonder I never go to the doctors. I might as well just not bother. The thing is, I'll end up leaving something that will turn out to be serious, and I'll end up going into emergency and the doctor will say "why didn't you get this checked out earlier????" The health care industry is definitely going through some struggles! __________________ I have faith in a few things - divinity and grace But even when I'm on my knees I know the devil preys

05-04-2005, 10:56 AM	#6 (permalink)
bernadette ::::::::::::::::::::::::: :. Location: this ain't kansas, toto	doctors & insurance companies sure DO SUCK the wang. i refuse to go see a doc unless it's the emergency room & thank goodness i haven't required stitches or anything else in a long time. green snot sounds like an <font color="green" size="5"><b>infection</b></font>, which requires antibiotics. FUCK going to the doctor for a pharmaceutical Rx. head straight to the drug store or grocery & pick up a bottle or box of GARLIC tablets. (they make an odorless version, btw). GARLIC works as a natural antibiotic. i've sworn by it for years now. lots of people swear by garlic. hope you feel better soon, ya booger blowing snot face! (not intended to be rude. this is the nonsense forum, so i had to add something silly, right?) __________________ .:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

05-04-2005, 11:17 AM	#7 (permalink)
Charlatan Getting it. Super Moderator Location: Lion City	bernie said, "suck the wang"... hehehe By the way Bern... Daoust is in Canada so while he has to deal with doctors and their wonky opinions he, thankfully, does not have to deal with insurance companies... I thank my lucky stars about once a week that I don't have to worry about healthcare costs like some people do... __________________ "My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke

05-05-2005, 02:52 AM	#8 (permalink)
Daoust "I'm sorry. What was the question?" Location: Paradise Regained	Yes. Point taken, Charlatan. I am very thankful for that. I guess I have gotten to the point of taking our health care for granted. Well, not the system, really. Just doctors who won't medicate me. I want the drugs, dammit! Edit: Bernadette said "suck wang" huh. huh huh. huh. heh. heh. __________________ I have faith in a few things - divinity and grace But even when I'm on my knees I know the devil preys Last edited by Daoust; 05-05-2005 at 04:12 AM..