Daoust

So I'm sick. I've got this cold that has been hanging on for at least three weeks, without a word of lie. Right now it's in the cough stage.

Some people think coughing itself is gross. It doesn't bother me much, but lately I've been coughing like a smoker, and each time I've been bringing up that dark, green, thick almost spongey shit that gathers in the recesses of your lungs. Those of you who have been really sick or smoke like a chimney know this phlegm.

Anyway, today I was just walking around my living room, and all of a sudden I started hacking, and I felt this big wad of phlegm coming. The thing was, it came up, and it just flew up and out like projectile vomit, this one thick wad of green grossness.

The next part you can visualize in slow motion, just like in the movies, because that's what it seemed like. The wad came up and out so fast, and yet out of sheer reaction, I lunged after it, hoping to catch it before it hit the ground with a splat. I don't know why I wanted to catch it, but at the time I did. However, the green goo gob eluded my swipes and landed with a thud on the clickboard laminate flooring. If it had been carpet it would have never come out. Of course, I couldn't leave it there, and I wanted to get rid of it before the wife saw it (even though I flirted with the idea of showing it to her) so I just grabbed a wet nap and dabbed it up. Of course it all came up together because it was so thick.

This story isn't as gross sounding as it was in real life. But I just felt like sharing it because it's Sunday, and what the crap. So as to make it a thread where you can contribute, I offer you the opportunity to tell your sick, disgusting, gross-me-out story. This is Tilted Nonsense, but keep your stories to a first or second hand experience.

__________________
I have faith in a few things - divinity and grace
But even when I'm on my knees I know the devil preys