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Old 03-30-2005, 10:57 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Location: The twisted warpings of my brain.
Iowa, a government myth?

A colleague of mine once related to me the theory that the "state of Iowa" is really nothing more than a government myth used to cover up top secret projects and get rid of people and that the only people "from Iowa" are government plants used to confuse the general populous. Without using Google can you think of anything that's in this "Iowa" other than the supposed "Des Moines" and what kind of name is "Des Moines"?!

Thoughts and comments?

(yes, I'm playing, but it'll be fun!)
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Old 03-30-2005, 11:21 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Des Moines is derived from a french term for .. something dirty. The sewer, or the toilet, or something along those lines. Watch out world, here I come..!
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Old 03-30-2005, 11:34 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Used to have a co-worker who claimed to be from Iowa. He used to mumble that it stood for Idiots Out Walking Around.
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Old 03-31-2005, 01:09 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Fuck, I hope this isn't true, otherwise I'm about to become really, really confused.
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Old 03-31-2005, 01:17 AM   #5 (permalink)
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I know that there is an air force name called Mt. Home in Iowa, which only feeds the myth that it's used for secret projects on potatoes.
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Old 03-31-2005, 09:14 AM   #6 (permalink)
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A forum of this size and no one is going to refute the falicy of Iowa?!

They're coming for me now, aren't they? *starts packing*
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Old 03-31-2005, 09:52 AM   #7 (permalink)
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How does that explain Tom Arnold then???
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Old 03-31-2005, 10:08 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Tom Arnold?! The man is a government propaganda construct! Mediocre talent, yet he somehow manages a level of exposure that the pope would envy! Besides, why would you wish to justify Tom Arnold? *shudders* sex with Roseann. . . OMG!!!
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Old 03-31-2005, 10:08 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mazagmot
I know that there is an air force name called Mt. Home in Iowa, which only feeds the myth that it's used for secret projects on potatoes.
Mt. Home is in Idaho actually....so Iowa doesn't even get that
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Old 03-31-2005, 10:10 AM   #10 (permalink)
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wha.....?

never heard of this theory before. what a weird theory.

i don't know why anyone would WANT to live in iowa... but, i feel sure that some people do for whatever their reasons.
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Old 03-31-2005, 10:28 AM   #11 (permalink)
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But that's what I'm saying! Is there anyone that has concrete evidence of going to "Iowa"? As in first hand having been to a particular place outside of Des Moines which I'm still thinking is mostly academic in it's placement and exists as a front, something similar to Racoon City if you're familiar with the Resident Evil story line.
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Old 03-31-2005, 10:32 AM   #12 (permalink)
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While we're on the topic, in college I was led to believe that South Dakota didn't even exist. We couldn't find anyone who had ever been there.
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Old 03-31-2005, 10:46 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Nah, I've been to North and South Dakota, the Black Hills, Rushmore, etc, they don't amount to much, but they are there!
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Old 03-31-2005, 10:55 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Location: this ain't kansas, toto
liquidlight, my husband & i drove straight through iowa many moons ago.
memory is foggy, but yknow, i think you're right! no people. just corn fields. OMG
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Old 03-31-2005, 11:39 AM   #15 (permalink)
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I lived there for three years. I was so traumatized that I still cannot speak of the experience.
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Old 03-31-2005, 09:24 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by liquidlight
A colleague of mine once related to me the theory that the "state of Iowa" is really nothing more than a government myth used to cover up top secret projects and get rid of people and that the only people "from Iowa" are government plants used to confuse the general populous. Without using Google can you think of anything that's in this "Iowa" other than the supposed "Des Moines" and what kind of name is "Des Moines"?!

your friend was right, but has the state wrong. it's Utah, not Iowa. Iowa just SEEMS like nothing because its one of those corn and wheat field, square, flat states there in the middle of the country.

off the top of my head, I know that Ottumwa, Iowa, is the hometown of both Walter "Radar" O'Reilly (from M.A.S.H.) as well as faux-celebrity Tom Arnold.


think about Utah, and it all fits. Those Mormons? Government drones, of course. LOTS of desert in Utah to conduct experiments in secret, too. I could go on and on, but I think I've said too much already. Oh hang on, I hear someone breaking down the door....

......aaarrgghhhhhh!
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Old 04-01-2005, 01:41 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Iowa, sadly does exist- I have sold swords to the populace, and traveled through many of its cities- I would be willing to believe that Giant Hamburger is secretly controlling the residents though- there is no limit to his dark powers- especialy when his victims have consumed corn.........
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Old 04-01-2005, 11:39 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Wait, you're saying that Woody from Cheers is a government agent? How insidious...
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Old 04-01-2005, 11:52 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sion
your friend was right, but has the state wrong. it's Utah, not Iowa. Iowa just SEEMS like nothing because its one of those corn and wheat field, square, flat states there in the middle of the country.
Your theory about Utah would work wonderfully if I didn't happen to be sitting in Salt Lake City right now and have lived in this God forsaken place for the past 15 years.

I would worry that it's all a scam, but this state sucks so much that not even the government would be dumb enough to want it!
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Old 04-01-2005, 11:04 PM   #20 (permalink)
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I spent the night in the back seat of a fucked up demolition derby car at a fairgrounds in Iowa back in '85. Iowa is all too real.
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Old 04-02-2005, 12:15 AM   #21 (permalink)
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what were you doing in the backseat of a demolition derby car all night? surely not sleeping...
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Old 04-02-2005, 12:20 AM   #22 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by liquidlight
Your theory about Utah would work wonderfully if I didn't happen to be sitting in Salt Lake City right now and have lived in this God forsaken place for the past 15 years.

I would worry that it's all a scam, but this state sucks so much that not even the government would be dumb enough to want it!
Get out of SLC and spend a few days in Moab. Hiking, offroading, biking, whatever. Awesome, almost Martian place to get away.
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