FailedEagle

John's eyes fly open as the alarm by his bed begins blaring. He jumps out of bed realizing that he was going to be late for work. He runs into the bathroom and brushes his teeth. Afterwards, he heads down to the kitchen to grab a bite of breakfast before heading out the door. He pulls the milk out of the refridgerator and pours a glass. The bread pops up out of the toaster. He grabs the toast, butters it, and takes a bite. The phone rings, "Hello?" John says.

(continue with the next paragraphs!)

bernadette

He repeats "Hello?" "Hello?"
*click*
John exclaims, "WHO is this prick that calls me every morning & hangs up on me?"
He then ponders, "why do i keep brushing my teeth <i>before</i> i eat my breakfast?" as he observes that the piece of toast he'd only taken a single bite of is now in the floor being swiftly polished off my his dog, Samuel.

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