Jonsgirl is evil because he has revealed my plan of World domination! Who other than a truly evil person would do such a thing? And as for the ducks...one must have told you about the geese. Now, the ducks must suffer, and it is all to be blamed on Jonsgirl! HOW TRULY EVIL!

Sonikeko voted for Bush.

Stilzkin, I DIDN'T vote for Bush. But thou art truly evil because you voted for him...TWICE!

Maybe sonikeko didn't vote for Bush.... but then again, why would he bother? He's the one that rigged the election so that Bush would win no matter who voted for who. What's more, he did it in the 2000 election too.

TexanAvenger is evil because Texas is part of the toilet of evil.

Zeraph is intimately familiar with the workings of the Toilet of Evil, the Sink of Iniquity, the Bathtub of Barbarism, and the Fiendish Bidet of Beelzebub, because he is Satan's own plumber. Whenever your sink clogs or your toilet backs up, Zeraph is somehow behind it with his legions of insanely gibbering minions. He is the foe of lineolum everywhere, and the bane of all tile. It is on his diabolical minions' whispered encouragement that my two year old feeds entire rolls of paper into the toilet, on their assurances that they will return it to her as a pony. Zeraph invented a insulation for underground pipes that leaks plant food into the surrounding soil, virtually guaranteeing that they will eventualy be cracked by tree roots. And my sources say he leaves the seat up.

Maybe the Shadow knows what evil lurks in the hearts on men, but I know what evil lurks behind their walls and beneath their floors - Zeraph!

(By the way, the part of the toilet of evil which is Texas? That would have to be the ball-cock.)

Tophat665 is evil because, despite popular perception, his name is not a noun for a ritzy piece of haberdashery. It is instead the verbed form of the adjective "phat".

"To phat" is evil, as I'm sure is self-evident.

1010011010 is evil because his name is in binary! There is nothing more evil than binary!

Bobbias is a singularity of evil. That is, a mass of evil so condensed that Bobbias exists as a single, one-dimensional point in a three-dimensional plane, so condensed in fact that Bobbias essentially does not exist.

I also heard that Bobbias likes to ruin little old ladies' gardens and then pee on their dogs.

Stilzkin is evil because he encourages Bobbias to pee on dogs. In fact, I hear it is he who taught Bobbias the evil trade of puupy-peepee

I didn't want to have to resort to this, but sonikeko is evil because an echo cannot travel at sonic speeds! :p

Stiltzkin, as we all know, tries to trick young women by making them guess his name... However, since that one time a girl actually succeeded and got it right, he now only gives them one guess and kills their pet goldfish if they get it wrong. If these young women don't own goldfish, he gives them some instead with a smile and says, "Oh well..." Then, just as an attachment is made between said young woman and goldfish, he springs in and feeds them nearly four times the normal amount so that she finds them belly up the next morning.

Texan Avenger is evil because his handle put an unpleasant picture in my mind of John Steed in a Stetson. *Shiver*

In case you're wondering, this is John Steed:
<img src="http://www.ee.surrey.ac.uk/Contrib/Entertainment/NewAvengers/images/steed.gif">

and this is a Stetson:
<img src="http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/WWstetson2.JPG">

Tophat665 reminds me of the neighbor of the beast (665) mocking formalwear... (And he thought John Steed made people shiver...)

http://tinypic.com/psx6t

You're on thin ice with that particular imp, buddy, considering from whence he came, however, evil by association is no more than a strong indicator.

For a true indictment of evil, we could talk about filling a birdbath with uncooked rice and pop rocks, and watching grackles explode in midair, but in some places in Texas that's considered just your average entertainment (and in Waco it passes for high comedy). In any case, while it is a cruel act, if one did it without malice, then one would be an idiot, but not actually evil. So we go farther afield: Designing a combination bat house and mandoline to provide himself with thin slices of bat to stick to the neighbor's picture window. It's a petty evil, though. Serving snail darter consumme to the Sierra Club? That's almost justice - if still a bit evil.

Ah-ha! Got it! There was the incident in 1987 where, moments before he was stopped and searched by the police in Lubbock, the TexasAvenger disposed of a goodly amount of high grade Peruvian marching powder in a plain metal trashcan. Whether it would have sent him to jail for 20 years must remain an open question, but Oscar the Grouch is now serving hard time. Framing a Muppet? That's just evil like the fruit of the devil.

Ahh! Tophat, my arch nemesis!
(see, you have to be evil to BE an arch nemesis)
Once again trying to pawn off your evil deeds on the inncoent masses, I see. Since you refuse to reveal yourself, I suppose I will have to.
Tophat wrote the manual for booby trapped bird feeders. Who do you think figured out that pop rocks were leathal? He's like the evil, anti-Darwin; out to destroy all the pretty finches and harmless songbirds.
And muppets? You want to talk about sick? Oh boy, Tophat has cornered the market on sick! As we speak, he's holding Bert AND Ernie hostage in his basement. He's making them dress up like gimps (ok, so they came over dressed like gimps, but he's keeping them in gimp costume!!) and clean his bathroom. And I can't even talk about the "naughty peigon" punishment! Let's just say that pop rocks + peigons + muppet butt = stuffing everywhere!

Jonsgirl is evil because he came up with all of that rubbish on Tophat665. I know for a fact that the PopRocks discover was made by Jonsgirl on a balmy Summers Eve (no relation that I know of) while playing a game of Red Rover with squirrels. Needless to say, when Mr. Clusters was asked to "come-over", the consequences were fatal, for when Mr. Clusters was knocked unconscious, PopRocks were fed to him with 3 cans of Pepsi. Poor Mr. Clusters.

sonikeko is from Ohio. He may not have voted for Bush but Ohio swung the election. This makes sonikeko evil by default.

SHAME ON ALL YOU BASTARDS FROM OHIO!!!!!!! :mad:
:crazy:

thejoker130 is from Utah.

I am?

Stiltzkin is evil because he promotes the slavery and indentured servitude of moogles everywhere.

thejoker130 is evil because he has an incarnate of evil as his avatar. I mean, c'mon, how much more evil can one get?

sonikeko is undoubtably evil because he purposely tries to make others look evil by lying about them. thejoker130's avatar is of death. And death isn't evil, it's just a natural occurance.

TexanAvenger is evil because he is obviously the grim reaper. Who else would try to justify death so?

sonikeko is evil because he's from ohio.
really, what more proof do you need?

hawkeye is evil because he shoots poor, defenseless squirrels with arrows.

In the secret language of the ancient brotherhood of Mu, Livia Regina means I'm going to eat your soul for dessert.

the TexanAvenger is EXTREMELY evil because he is not really a avenger... he is just a common murderer who pretends he is avenging for good...

rumor also has it he converses with bats (evil creatures)

evil
 

Ismal is evil because he plots to built launchers underneath the continent of Austraila and launch it to the moon - build a bio dome - start a new society that worships hot dogs.

Then, when we least expect it - he will come back to earth and steal our buns!!!!!!

Brooke is evil because she is helping Ishmal to build this new society and steal our buns. She needs Ishmal because she can't get her hands on a hot dog at the moment, as soon as she can though....

Livia Regina has known about Ishmal and Brooke's plan for a long time now and has bought out a corner on the condiment industry. Now not only will our hotdogs be ruined, but we'll have to pay insane amounts to put condiments on even our hamburgers.

For shame Livia Regina, for shame...

Livia Regina is evil because she has little dwarfs at her command to kill all who may get in her way. She is also sleeping with Caesar Augustus. Since he has been dead for several hundereds of years - that in itself is gross and rather evil.

Texas Avenger is shaming Livia Regina up front - but is actually plotting to kill Augustus (agian?) and sweep her off her feet, inorder to obtain that coveted industry.

Brooke is evil because she intends to foil the hot-dog industry and Ishmal's plan by revealing the contents of hotdogs. Please, I among others, enjoy hotdogs, and the revealing of their true contents would be truly evil...but the plot to do so is still evil in itself, so Brooke is evil...got it?

sonikeko already ate all the hotdogs.

Stiltzkin is evil because he is blaming me for eating all the hotdogs when he knows very well that he fed them all to his avatar

sonikeko is by far the evilest one here because it was he who put the gremlins in my printer, then the gremlins ate it's insides and I had to get a new one, beacuse everyone knows that without it's insides, a printer is merely a pumpkin.

Eviltree is evil. Just look at the name. Besides, only truly evil people would try to print stuff using pumpkins.

Livia Regina has started an anti-pumpkin campaign that has become a full-blown regime, hellbent on obliterating all pumpkins off the face of this earth. I for one will be eating as many pumpkin pies as humanly possible over the Christmas break to counter-act Livia Regina's horrendously evil plot to eliminate this poor, defenseless fruit (or is it a vegetable?)

Stiltzkin feigns to not know the difference between fruits and vegetables when we all know that a vegetable is any edible part of a plant whereas a fruit is an edible part of a plant the develops from its ovaries...

TexanAvenger spends his days prodding the ovaries of plants :hmm:

Stiltzkin is evil because he films TexanAvenger prodding plant ovaries and then he blackmails TA with them.

Livia Regina thinks it is funny that megajules of energy from the sun are being lost to entropy every second that we exist. :(

Stiltzkin is evil because Moogles are the dark lord santa's minions!
Mwahahahohoho!

Jonsgirl has translated the major written documents of every earthly religion (and then some...) into Klingon.

TexasAvenger knows this because he would call her at 3:00 in the morning to correct her on obscure points of Klingon grammar and usage.

<small>(Shakespeare is so much better in the original Klingon.)</small>

My teacher in all things Klingon was Tophatt. I left his school after a bitter arguement of the merits of Shakespear. I said ye olde englysh did not translate well, but he wouldn't listen to the wisdom of his young, beautiful student.

Look at the egotism, flowing off of Jonsgirl like ice-cream down a cone in June... With ego like that, is there really a question of whether or not world-domination plans are in the making? And, in all likelyhood, those plans involve changing the language of the world to Klingon... Making speech a vast impossibility to 99, or more, percent of the population of Earth.

Texan Avenger is just jealous of my talent and fears being beaten by a girl (even if he does like it;) )
Of course I plan on changing the world's common language to Klingon, but I'm only doing it to stop your vastly more terrifying and evil plan of converting the world's population to 1337 sp34k!ng n00bs.
I do not Ph34R joo, Texan!!

"Vanity is definitely my favorite sin. So basic. Self-love, the all-natural opiate," quoth Al Pacino as the devil. All this talk of Klingon, though is just a front. Jonsgirl is merely distracting attention from her supposed pulchritude. She had to sabotage herself here. Pride is the first of the deadly sins, my dear. Pisses you off a bit I picked up on that, doesn't it? Anger is the fifth. Don't you wish you could write such a devestating indicment of my evil as I can of yours? Envy is the second. Still, you can console yourself that you make more money than I do. (Greed. #6) Or you could just tell me to go fuck myself (Lust. #4) or eat a box of chocolates (Gluttony. #3). Of course it might be better to just take a nap and let someone else slay this particular dragon. (Sloth #7)

All sins aside, the real evil of Jonsgirl is her writig credit on the Devil's Advocate. Too bad the Eddie Barzoon speech isn't among them. She is truly Satan's special little creature (and pretty too!)

Tophat665 eats ginea pigs for breakfast.

Stilzkin, before I go into just how very, very evil you are I must thank you. Thank you for waking me up after Tophat's post. I fell asleep a couple of lines into it. I'm sure it was well thought out and creative, as per his wit. Or as well thought out and as creative as it could, considering his lack of wit.

Now to commence with the evilness: Stilzkin uses hampsters as croquet balls. Rather, I should say that her army of moogles uses them as croquet balls. They not only enjoy using their smaller, weaker counsins as sporting equippment, they aslo eat them after their games.
Cannibal moogles....got hampster?

Maybe Stilzkin does use hampsters as croquet balls. Maybe her army of moogles eats them afterward. But, really, that's nothing compared to the pain those hampsters feel as Jonsgirl smokes them... Sure, it started off just out of curiosity, but now Jonsgirl chainsmokes hampsters like guys that still wear leisure suits go through pickup lines.

Jonsgirl and TexanAvenger are both unfathomably evil for thinking that I am female :o
However, I think it would be cool if I was female, because then I'd be sexy and all that.

Now on to business:
TexanAvenger ties tiny rocks to lizard toes and drops them into water >.&lt;!

Stiltzkin is evil for pretending to be a male when anyone knows anything as adorably cuddly, and sexily cute could only be female. Or an evil she-male.

Jonsgirl is promoting stereotypes that only females can be adorably cuddly and sexily cute, and there's not much that's more evil than promoting gender stereotypes.

TexanAvenger is evil because he cannot bear the thought that he is not adorably cuddly and sexily cute. Everyone knows that people like that go on to become evil dictators so they can kill all the beautiful people.

Live Regina is evil because she bleieves that only the cuddly, beautiful people will be saved. She believes this because of her evil plot to kill all of the ugly people.

sonikeko washes dishes with dirty water.

Stiltzkin doesn't chew his food 32 times before swallowing

sonikeko chews every bite 32 times before swallowing... and ridicules the collected works of Virginia Woolf.

TexanAvenger doesn't chew his food at all. He inhales it through his evil food hole. And he doesn't read things, he absorbes the words through his evil eye lenses.And he most certainly doesn't talk to people, he issues his evil plans from his evil voice talkie-box thing.
He is the evil sum of many, many evil parts.

Jonsgirl redubbed episodes of the Powerpuff Girls with voice tracks from Cheech and Chong movies. She's been selling these as English learning tapes for children in the Mexican community in Dubuque.

She is singlehandedly responsible for the occasional metric highway signs you may still see.

Late at night, she sneaks onto civil war battlefields and buries modern ammunition next to Roman era bronze armor and weaponry.

When she grows up, she would like to be an activist judge.

All about chaos, is our jonsgirl, and that makes her a naughty one indeed.

Tophat, do you really think that my corruption of the "innocent youth" is all that bad? You forgot to mention that your precious community is in, fact, the twisted drawfish mutations caused by the emanations from your chemical X factory. How dare you accuse me of being evil when all I do is bring laughter and 30 minutes of sunshine into these poor, blighted soul's lives.

Tophat also came up with the metric system in the first place.

Late at night, he's spying on me. I mean, come on man, I could so have you brought up on charges of stalking, but I'm giving you a second chance here.

When he grows up (which I doubt he ever will, he feeds off the souls of orphaned kittens to keep his cold, black heart pumping) he wants to be the 54 member of president bush's cabinet to resign.

All I can say is:
It is a sin to believe in the evil of others, but it is seldom a mistake.

Jonsgirl forgot to water her plants.

Stiltzkin is a plant. An evil venus flytrap-like plant. That eats little children. And kittens.

Methinks the bad lady doth protest overmuch. What's with the eating kittens fixation, jonsgirl? Could it be that you are just looking for someone who will eat your cooking? Jonsgirl cooks kittens, and records the sounds they make while they are cooking and sells the tapes as Ornette Coleman Bootlegs.

That's a recipe for Evil!

Tophat buys the tapes, and masturbates to them :hmm:
Tophat is also the one who created the chain of stores known as GameStop; I assure you, there is <i>nothing</i> in this world any more evil than that. There may be equally appalling things in this world, but none that surpass Tophat's evil chain of stores.

Except Stilzkin's Starbucks chain. I'm afraid that's way more evil. By an evil order of magnitude. That's even more evil than the time slitzkin tried to build a giant moogle to mate with the statue of liberty.

Jonsgirl is evil because her name starts with "Jon" and every "Jon" i know is a duche.

Bawn is evil hecause his name is almost Dawn, yet not quiet; his name is also almost Brawn, yet not quiet either. Therefore:
lim B(x)awn
x->r

lim Bawn
B->D

As we all know, asymptotes are evil, because they approach a certain point forever, but never reach it. :thumbsup:

Stiltzkin is evil because only evil people are crazy-smart enought to talk like that in real life.
Normal people know that is, but refrain from talking about it out of common decency. Not our evil moogle friend!
Oh no, boys and girls and hampsters, Stilzkin refuses to be boud by our 'morals' or even our 'laws.'
Such things are mere words to him.

Finally, someone who understands me! /cries
Only someone as tremendously evil as Jonsgirl could possibly accomplish that feat! EVIL!!! ^^;

Stilzkin is evil b/c he is a moogle and moogles only cause problems. They travel to various terrains to learn new dances to cause death and destruction(FFIII) and you are made out of bad karate

Have you played FFXI? Moogles are the sweetest, kindest, cutest mythical creatures you'll ever meet. We store your items and teleport across nations to check on your plants, and we don't even ask for anything in return, ever. We even call you "master", just because you pay $12.95 to an evil company known as Square-Enix. Only a truly evil mind would not realize the good that moogles truly are. Be damned our ancestors whose history is recorded in the documentary known as Final Fantasy III! :D

Stiltzkin is evil (again) for deriding FFIII and promoting FFXI in it's place.

lite campfire is evil. I don't really think there is a reason, He just is. He spends all his time playing chaotic evil characters and feeding the evil coporate monster that is Square/Hasbro/TSR/etc.
If he ever left his evil nerd lair, you could find him working at microsoft and relaxing at starbucks. Aiiieeeee!!!!

Jonsgirl knows D&D, which makes her evil. Just ask that kid in Putnam county who shot himself in the head over a D&D game. Just ask the Dead Alewives, who are all out of Moutain Dew because of Jonsgirl. Just ask the EPA about the geek superfund site that Lake Geneva Wisconson has become.

I've seen the drafts Jack Chick has done of his Jonsgirl Strip and then discarded because she was too evil to be believable as an evagelizing tool.

I have plumbed the depths of FRPG. I have beheld the munchkins with their vorpal blades. I have Larped. I have grasped the essential, yet magnetic badness of GURPS, but never before have I seen evil like Jonsgirl that wasn't in fact, Jonsgirl.

Tophat is evil because he promotes the combustion of human carbon molecules (refer to his signature).

Furthermore, Tophat wears spandex sweatpants to church and nothing else. Tophat is also known to have forcefully fed marshmallows to pigeons at his local zoo when no one was watching.

It is also purported that Tophad was sighted at a local Walmart shoplifting school supplies in bulk quantities. When questioned as to his motives, he simply cited an obscure passage from the Koran and ran off screaming the names of Greek gods.

In his latest caprice, Tophat was spotted selling hotpants in the playground of an elementry school. Tophat insists that he was being mind-controlled by demons and sincerely apologized to the staff and students after the fact, but suddenly burst into a full run and tripped over several desks, ruining at least two kids' art projects. He has not been seen or heard from since.

Stilzkin is evil because he hates all thing snoop dog and hip-hop due to the fact he is afraid that this bling bling is not shizzle

heccubusiv is way more evil than anyone who has ever posted on this evil thread.

C'mon, man. Pittsburgh? Superbowl? :lol:

That's just, like, wrong on so many levels. I bet it's all an evil plot by heccubusiv to make a laughing stock of one of America's favorite pastimes. And you know how evil it is to mess with America and it sports! It's...it's...ANTI -American!

heccubusiv speaks the truth about me. However, this does not excuse Jonsgirl from being disfiguringly evil. I once spake to my partner of things and said unto them: lo! Jonsgirl ist evil!
Whence, my partner of things (a partner of things being a person who is not essentially a partner at all), completely became disfigured, for this partner of mine could not fathom the evil.

In layman's terms: when speaking of Jonsgirl's evil, the person who is being told of the evil becomes crippled. It makes no sense, but it is true.

Stiltzkin is evil because he is obviously high on crack and did not bring enough to share with the whole class.

In layman's terms: If we can't understand you through all the evil babbling, you must be evil.

Jonsgirl is horribly evil for having let this thread go so long without a post... leaving me to pull it out of exile.

TexanAvenger is evil for avenging... Texas. Yeah. I think.

They say it was Sue Ellen, but it was actually Stiltzkin who shot JR. It's not that he hated JR or anything, it was just the evil thing to do.

Tophat665 is actually Tophat666's evil neighbor. They like to rip tags off mattresses, as a hobby!

mojodragon pays Tophat665 to rip off mattress tags... mojo's a mattress salesman.

TexanAvenger is mojodragon's pimp-person and gets paid every time Tophat665 rips off mattress tags. Being a pimp person for someone who pays someone else to rip off mattress tags is extremely evil. TexanAvenger will burn in heck for this!

How can I be evil? Stiltzkin has failed to recognize my avatar, an ankh, the hieroglyph that stands for life. And failing to recognize life is a sure sign of evil.

Of course TexanAvenger is evil. Despite his protestations, that is not an ankh at all, but the Wing&eacute;d Teaspoon of Tormentine, which flies through the night scooping the souls out of those destined to be tax inspectors, landlords, and school administrators.

Tophat665 is just jealous because as a tax inspector, landlord, and school administrator, he has no soul. And it's not because I've been scooping them out; Wouldn't it make more sense that those destined to become such started without them? They'd lose them in the process of becoming anyway...

Texas is the reason that the president's dead.

TexanAvenger likes to picnic in the grassy knoll. Sometimes he smiles and chuckles... real evil like.

Astrocloud's dark... and a banana.... There's a question as to the evilness of that?

Just think of the havoc all that potassium could do to your system...

Texas Avenger is predjudiced against dark skinned fruit. He once told Ru Paul that hir hair look awful. Is there anything more evil than running down a drag queen's hair?

Tophat gave me homework, after he found out that I already have way too much homework. There is nothing in this universe more evil than that. I win, hands down.

Stiltzkin fed that homework to his Dog, which gave him papercuts on his bottom. Evil dog torturer!

Oh, you foolish, foolish man! Coming back here for me to expose your evil-ness once again. Why will you not learn that you cannot hide your true self from us? Why must you continue to taint us with your very presence?
You leave me no choice, O' hatted one. For the good of the community I must reveal this deepest of dark secrets and hope that my fellow tfp'ers will follow me with torches and pitchforks to rid us of your evil nature.

Tophat has a collection of care bear heads mounted over his bed.

See! Do you see how deeply the evil is ingrained into his soul?!? Care Bear heads! Over his bed! Oh, the humanity!!!!!

Jonsgirl is pure evil. In the nine weeks she was gone and not posting, she was a serial killer in Oregon, pulled the feeding tubes out of 24 comatose patients in the Northeast, sold hot dogs with bacon wrapped around them in Tijuana, Mexico, sexually harassed elderly men in Miami Beach, went to Bolivia and tried to start a revolution but failed, and had to screw the chief of police to keep from getting executed, bit the tail off a dog, threw a cat into a brick wall, spit in someones coffee, drilled a hole in the Alaska Pipeline in a very ecologically sensitive area, and stole a homeless guys bedroll and dumped it 10 miles away.

Its good to have you back, where you will not cause so much chaos and havoc.

well Victorjara is one EVIL motherf**ker...

i mean that literally!!!

this list is nothing but a way for Victorjara to track you down and screw your mother...
everyone who has ever posted here has had this done to them!
trust me, i know...
the seagulls told me.

Ishmal is monstrously evil for reviving this ghost of a powerful evil that once was. Was it wise for Ishmal to have reawakened this dormant evil? That is a question I will leave to the philosophers; all I know is that Ishmal did the evil thing in reviving this thread!