Holy Shit.
 

Heres the story. I surf TFP late at night, and when i have to take a piss.....i piss. Outside. Off of my deck.....because i can, and its a very liberating thing for me. Anyways, i start pissing off my deck blindly into the night darkness. I do it semi-often, and nothing odd has ever happened, but as i piss this time;something hisses VERY loud and scampers away flinging rocks, and i simpily stiffen up, and fall over on the deck, urinating still, scared SHITLESS. I guess i pissed on a racoon. I felt i had to share this....and i guess its nonsense.

bahaha, lol. that's hilarious. thanks for the laugh.

So THAT'S why Illinois smelll that way:hmm:

Fuckin' hilarious!!

Oh fuck.

The mental picture.

Thank you for sharing. :thumbsup: :lol:

Lucky he wasn't hungry...

Sounds like one very pissed on/off raccoon. :D

So you fell over? While pissing? I hope you didn't pee on yourself there... :(

yeah, ive never been that scared before, call me a pussy or not. somehow i didnt piss on myself, though:)

That is classic. Simply classic. Great laugh.

maybe it was a cat, in which your story isnt funny at all... it's disgusting and wrong, Im telling on you for pissin on cats.

lol classic thing to do eh?

nasty. the land under your balcony must smell like a fuckin' outhouse.

use yer toilet dude. god put it in yer bathroom fer a reason.

Women! :rolleyes:
God put that deck there for a reason, bernie. :D

We're men, bern. The world is our toilet. :lol: bwwahaahaa

may i use your front lawn as my trashcan & ashtray? ok. thanks! :D


ok now. i do understand occasional pissing in the woods along the long stretches of highway between towns or when camping, etc.
i just don't comprehend this peeing outdoors from indoors where YOU live when there's working plumbing just a few short footsteps away...

bern....it's as easy as .....turn around,locate tree,zipper down,wang out,ready go.


we live in a mountainous area and there's trees and bush everywhere.

it's like we're (men) drawn to the bush.......*hehe*

/me not touching any of this...

See bern? phil doesn't even need to use his hands, he's so used to it. :p

*grows a penis* *unzips*

*pisses in the corner of kurtisj's living room*
(oops... thought i was pissing off the side of your deck... sorry dude.)

why would you piss in his living room?

thats just nasty

there's a reason god made bushes.... and balconies

*cough*

i was gonna say more... but nevermind.

I do not think bernadette could ever truly grasp what it is to pee off into the distance while a gentle breeze ruffles through your pubic hair.

skier hits my point perfectly. as i said, its liberating for me...and alot of men, for that matter.

Hey Bern,
Where do you think all the animals go? They don't have any indoor plumbing, and the world does not all smell like urine!!!
(just certain parts!)

and yes....

Sometimes an outside door is closer, plus you don't have to deal with the hassle of closing the door, lifting the lid, aiming into the toilet, flushing, and all those annoying procedures.

Doesn't get it; never will.

That story was funny as hell. Thanks for sharing.

funny story.. somehow though, I agree with Bern... that's sick... piss in your toilet, eh?

well, i wont give up one of my favorite pastimes...but i just might make sure i wont piss on any rabid animals. deal?

i like to look at it as saving water myself.


*heads out for a quick squirt in the back yard.*

Man, I have got to get me a porch.

Totally Hilarious, thanks

OH MAN!!! better see a doctor - don't you realize that the racoon, if rabid, may very well have infected you with mononegavirales by travelling from the animal, up the urine you expelled then into your penis???

rabies virions are bullet-shaped with 10-nm spike-like glycoprotein peplomers covering the surface so that's definately gonna hurt...

http://web.umr.edu/~microbio/BIO221_1998/rabstruc1.jpg

Gee, I at least hope not... :D

Humm so when you fell over did you piss on yourself?:hmm:

yknow i just noticed that this thread is titled "Holy Shit."

that would be an entirely different (although somewhat related) topic, right?

somehow, no. i guess im just that good.

damn that would have made the story even better:D

Do you live on fifth street? 0-o


Please be come familiar with the word sanitary.
It's for your own good.

san·i·tar·y [ sánna tèrree ]

adjective

1. connected with public health: relating to public health, especially general hygiene and the removal of human waste through the sewage system


2. clean and hygienic: clean and free from agents that cause disease or infection


:) eew.

If there is ever a forum get together hope we don't meet at his place!