Holy Shit.
 

Heres the story. I surf TFP late at night, and when i have to take a piss.....i piss. Outside. Off of my deck.....because i can, and its a very liberating thing for me. Anyways, i start pissing off my deck blindly into the night darkness. I do it semi-often, and nothing odd has ever happened, but as i piss this time;something hisses VERY loud and scampers away flinging rocks, and i simpily stiffen up, and fall over on the deck, urinating still, scared SHITLESS. I guess i pissed on a racoon. I felt i had to share this....and i guess its nonsense.

bahaha, lol. that's hilarious. thanks for the laugh.

So THAT'S why Illinois smelll that way:hmm:

Fuckin' hilarious!!

Oh fuck.

The mental picture.

Thank you for sharing. :thumbsup: :lol:

Lucky he wasn't hungry...

Sounds like one very pissed on/off raccoon. :D

So you fell over? While pissing? I hope you didn't pee on yourself there... :(

yeah, ive never been that scared before, call me a pussy or not. somehow i didnt piss on myself, though:)

That is classic. Simply classic. Great laugh.

maybe it was a cat, in which your story isnt funny at all... it's disgusting and wrong, Im telling on you for pissin on cats.

lol classic thing to do eh?

nasty. the land under your balcony must smell like a fuckin' outhouse.

use yer toilet dude. god put it in yer bathroom fer a reason.

Women! :rolleyes:
God put that deck there for a reason, bernie. :D

We're men, bern. The world is our toilet. :lol: bwwahaahaa

may i use your front lawn as my trashcan & ashtray? ok. thanks! :D


ok now. i do understand occasional pissing in the woods along the long stretches of highway between towns or when camping, etc.
i just don't comprehend this peeing outdoors from indoors where YOU live when there's working plumbing just a few short footsteps away...

bern....it's as easy as .....turn around,locate tree,zipper down,wang out,ready go.


we live in a mountainous area and there's trees and bush everywhere.

it's like we're (men) drawn to the bush.......*hehe*

/me not touching any of this...

See bern? phil doesn't even need to use his hands, he's so used to it. :p

*grows a penis* *unzips*

*pisses in the corner of kurtisj's living room*
(oops... thought i was pissing off the side of your deck... sorry dude.)

why would you piss in his living room?

thats just nasty

there's a reason god made bushes.... and balconies

*cough*

i was gonna say more... but nevermind.

I do not think bernadette could ever truly grasp what it is to pee off into the distance while a gentle breeze ruffles through your pubic hair.

skier hits my point perfectly. as i said, its liberating for me...and alot of men, for that matter.

Hey Bern,
Where do you think all the animals go? They don't have any indoor plumbing, and the world does not all smell like urine!!!
(just certain parts!)

and yes....

Sometimes an outside door is closer, plus you don't have to deal with the hassle of closing the door, lifting the lid, aiming into the toilet, flushing, and all those annoying procedures.

Doesn't get it; never will.

That story was funny as hell. Thanks for sharing.

funny story.. somehow though, I agree with Bern... that's sick... piss in your toilet, eh?

well, i wont give up one of my favorite pastimes...but i just might make sure i wont piss on any rabid animals. deal?

i like to look at it as saving water myself.


*heads out for a quick squirt in the back yard.*

Man, I have got to get me a porch.

Totally Hilarious, thanks

OH MAN!!! better see a doctor - don't you realize that the racoon, if rabid, may very well have infected you with mononegavirales by travelling from the animal, up the urine you expelled then into your penis???

rabies virions are bullet-shaped with 10-nm spike-like glycoprotein peplomers covering the surface so that's definately gonna hurt...

http://web.umr.edu/~microbio/BIO221_1998/rabstruc1.jpg

Gee, I at least hope not... :D

Humm so when you fell over did you piss on yourself?:hmm:

yknow i just noticed that this thread is titled "Holy Shit."

that would be an entirely different (although somewhat related) topic, right?

somehow, no. i guess im just that good.

damn that would have made the story even better:D

Do you live on fifth street? 0-o


Please be come familiar with the word sanitary.
It's for your own good.

san·i·tar·y [ sánna tèrree ]

adjective

1. connected with public health: relating to public health, especially general hygiene and the removal of human waste through the sewage system


2. clean and hygienic: clean and free from agents that cause disease or infection


:) eew.

If there is ever a forum get together hope we don't meet at his place!

i live on the edge of town, so dont worry about. its not like, on a popular street corner. i live in a town of pop. 500, its not that big of a deal

Its a big deal where ever you are. Maybe:hmm:

gotta like the rain............


...cleans the place up a bit.

not really. its a town full of hicks/farmers and retards. they dont care. i dont care. neither should you:D

wow, I need to get myself a porch!

And.... there probably actually IS a city ordinance or something against it. Not that I care.... but I'm sure you could get nailed on public indecency or something stupid.

/shrug

Bern.... she'll just never understand what it's like. For example, there is a fire beneath his porch... and he has but one fire hose.

I think you would do the right thing.

couple 'o wobbly pops,....and a back porch = bliss.......


*shakes it a few extra times,just because it's his own*

i also live on the edge of town, where noone could see me except with the aid of binoculars or perhaps a telescope

Well then I guess being out in the middle of no where it doesn't really matter.

And you can get in trouble your on your own property

i know. its no biggie

but pissing on raccoons your lucky it didn't attack you.

What's the big deal with pissing outside? I think it kicks ass!

you women got multiple orgasms, we got pissing standing up...we gotta make use of our only advantage over women

sleepin' in the tent cuz it's hotter than hell here now,and.........come 1 - 2 o'clock (in the morn and have too pee) and i wander to the back part 'o my yard instead of into the house.

feet get moist from the dew but hey,it's all worth it.

fly, how hot is it?

so hot you gotta piss outside.;)

we were 25 yesterday and it's gonna hit 27 today.

Celsius of course.

...I thought you meant the urine.

:lol: Whew, boy! My sides hurt. :D
Ok, I won't tell you that's not hot if you don't tell me 5° Celsius isn't cold. ;):D Deal? :p

i dont think a racoon could jump 4 yards in the air and snag my wang......well, actually make that 6 yards(2 yards deticated to my legs, and the other 4 for the deck)

I don't know how high a coon can jump. But what is 6 yards in feet?

I say if your going outdoors you might as well hit a rabid animal... Its down there right now taking a dump under your deck.



6 yards is 18 feet....

Ok 18 feet might be to high for a stoned coon to jump!

your saying anyone whoever pissed outside is a rabid animal? thats ridiculous