neddy65

Everyone has heard the one that goes" If you break your leg, don't come running to me!"
Does anybody have some examples of stUpid things mothers say( or fathers)?

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If you're travelling at the speed of light, and you turn the headlights on, do they do anything?

My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die!

Drink Dickens' Hard Cider because nothing makes a girl smile like a Hard DIckens' Cider!

World's King

I love you.
You can be anything you want.
Daddy touches you because he loves you so much.

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

Tholo

Ewwww.
"What are you doing tonight?"
"Soming a bowl with lance."
"Okay, have fun!"

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"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."

pinklily

"Boys are bad. No dating until you're 30."

*I like how this one came after I lost my V*

bernadette

"wish in one hand, shit in the other. see which one gets fullest faster."

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bundy

i can't remember anything stupid my folks have ever said.

the only saying they used to repeat to me was, 'if its not on, its not on.'

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Ohayo!!!

teriaki

bernadette- HAHAHA- I got that one too!

I got the "do you think money grows on trees?"

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Cute, but useless.

Bleed Me Dry

" You know, when no one hires you because you're a freak, don't come seeking sympathy from me"

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Bite Me...

But Only If Invited

sexymama

I never got the "watch out" after doing something clumsy. I always wanted to answer, "duh."

"Because I said so" -- just tell me why. I'm reasonable and if I understand, then I'm happy to comply.

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If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god

It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.

mehmehmeh

"its not over till its over"

mtn_biker30

As i was leaving to go out my mom would look at me with a dead serious face and say...

"remember who you are, son"

Munku

I don't get it.. :/

CinnamonGirl

"Because I said so" always drove me crazy. "That's not a reason, Mom!" "It's a good enough reason for you."

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"...for though she was ordinary, she possessed health, wit, courage, charm, and cheerfulness. But because she was not beautiful, no one ever seemed to notice these other qualities, which is so often the way of the world."


"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

Cosmo Girl

"You're not in love, you don't know what love is"...came at a time when my parents refused to let me vist my then long distance boyfriend of two years. My parents were having marrage problems and screeming at each other on a daily basis. i thought they were the ones who didn't know what love was.

Angel

"Just who in the hell do you think you are?" Always said to me when I was doing something that I should have gotten permission to do and didn't. I always wanted to reply with "well if YOU don't know who in the hell I am, THAT is where the real problem is!" or "I'm your evil offspring that's who"

But I liked my face and wanted to keep it looking the same so I kept my mouth shut.

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In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was within me an invincible summer.
~Albert Camus

EruptiveDreamz

I can't say anything my mother said was stupid as that would be a disgrace to the respect I have for her. But doggone it .. I can't cheat at dusting as I always hear her lil voice in my head saying, " Don't dust around things, pick things up and dust under them or it leaves a dust ring around the object." Grrr ..

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Can you imagine Moses asking Congress to pass the ten commandments?

toiletraccoon

my mom always said, "you can't have your pudding if you don't eat your meat"

Kewpie Dan

if i couldn't find something my mom would say "look with your eyes!" it's less of a stupid thing and more of a smart ass thing...

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I'm so awesome I made your mom cry!

Infernal

LOL I got that a lot too when I ask them for money

Fremen

This drove me crazy if I dropped something within her sight,
"Dropped a set out of your rings."
I still don't know what it means.
Was she a secret mechanic in her spare time?

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Google

Fly

my mom always told me not to play with fire...........


hehe...............it's my job now.

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthr...threadid=47672

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BASTARD

SterlingStudios

bparker805

"Mom, can you make me a sandwich?"

"Zap! You're a sandwich."

Crack

Now that is scary.. my mom would say the same thing, except she would use the "Ding" You're a Sandwich... but basically the same

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Crack, you and I are long overdue for a vicious bout of mansex.

~Halx

Church

"Don't sleep in"

Is it such a cardinal sin to sleep in once in a while? I mean, is my bed going to set on fire at 11 am if I don't wake up from it and kill me? I really fail to see the purpose of that.

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Through counter-intelligence, it should be possible to pinpoint potential trouble makers, and neutralize them.

Beanie

are you friends with any girls?????


grrrrrrr.....

jewels

"You make your bed, you lie in it."

"Wait 'til your father gets home."

"Oh my God, are you sick?" (after being brought home by two guys holding me up, then a labored crawl up the stairs to lose it all in the toilet)

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We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain

BadNick

"what will the neighbor's think"

Punk.of.Ages

"You're so full of shit, your eyes are brown." Ugh, I hated that one.

"Don't assume things. It makes an ass out of "u" and me." Clever Ma.

The funniest ones came from my Grandma though:

"Don't wear socks with holes in them. All the other kids will say 'That Lorraine must be poor. She lets her grandson dress like a bum.'" To which I would reply, "One: The other kids can't see my socks. I wear shoes ($150 Docs to be specific, which breaks the whole poor bit.) Two: The other kids don't know who you are."

"Don't eat butter or chocolate. You'll get zits."

"Eat your garlic. It keeps the vampires away." She was quite serious.

I'm not even going to go into the many things she's advised me about various other races of people. She's completely oblivious to just how racist she is.

And most recently, after meeting a friend of mine:

"Was that girl I met your girlfriend?"

"No, she's a lesbian."

"Why would she want to do that? Men should be with women, and women should be with men."

My grandmother's a lesbian. She's shared a bed with the same woman for over ten years. This made me laugh.

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"The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion..." - Henry Steel Commager

"Punk rock music is great music played by really bad, drunk musicians." -Fat Mike

BadNick

now my grandmom was more secure and supportive than my mom in a lot of ways ....not sure how her daughter turned out less so. My favorite thing my grandmom always used to say was "you see how old and experienced I am, so feel good that you're one of the smartest nicest boys I've ever known"

Tophat665

Stupidest thing my Mother ever said was probably "Let's adopt another one", second stupidest was probably, "This isn't working. Let's adopt." Glad she said that, mind you, but bad call on her part.

And yet I say that to my kids all the time now.

My mother is going to gloat herself to death if she's not careful.

One she only did once - "I suppose you think you're God's gift to mankind". "I don't know, Mom. You named me. What does Jon mean?"

(For those of you playing at home, it means "God's Gift")

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Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.