the reason Politicians try so hard to get re-elected is that they would hate to have to make a living under the laws they've passed...

http://i.min.us/ickyKy.jpg

I wouldn't want to represent any one who would vote for me. I win.

calories are the little bastards that get into your wardrobe at night and sew your clothes tighter...

http://i.min.us/idYYps.jpg

What?! Who's letting out my seams?

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess...


http://i.min.us/icimKe.jpg

They don't call me "the annoying naked guy" for nothing.

^^^^^^ that was awesome OCM ^^^^^^^^^


hahahahhaah..........i feel the same pain man.........hahaahahha

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.

http://i.min.us/icb5jC.jpg

You can't emale me anywhere on earth. I still win.

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

http://i.min.us/ickSKE.jpg

I defended your fixation, you know.

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight...

http://i.min.us/ijo5TW.jpg

Maybe they don't like laying down.

http://bligoo.com/media/users/0/1895...%20chilena.JPG