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Post a stupid joke.
I heard this one today. Pretty bad.. but I chuckled. :D
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? One is white, plastic and dangerous to little boys, the other is a plastic bag. |
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide. |
What does a blonde and a squirrel have in common?
They both like nuts. |
Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A: A stick ------------------ Two submarines were sitting in a tree knitting. A pig flew by with a twig in its mouth. A little later, the subs were still knitting in their tree when a pig flew by with a twig in it's mouth. Later still, the submarines are still sitting, still knitting, when a pig flies by with a twig in it's mouth. One of the submarines turns to the other and says, "Must be building a nest." |
Two sausages in a frying pan: one turns to the other and says "Damn, its hot in here"
The other says "Oh my god! Its a talking sausage". |
Q) What do you call a lesbian eskimoe?
A) A Klondyke! |
Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: A stick. |
Q:Why did the bear run around his bed?
A:He wanted to catch up on his sleep. |
How do you treat a sore pig?
Apply some oinkment. If he doesn't get better in three days, call the hambulance. |
ROFL! :D These are top-notch, guys. I have another stupid one.
Why do seagulls fly by the sea? Because if they flew by the bay, they'd be 'bagels'. har har harf!! |
What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?
A bird that talks your ear off. (I apologize for the stupidity) |
What is red and orange, and looks good on hippies?
FIRE |
No apologies! Stupidity is the reason for this thread! :D
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what do you do when you find Springfield, IL?
call Baltimore, MD stupid enough? |
How do elephants hide in cherry trees?
They wear red stocking hats. |
2 men walk into a bar.
You'd have thought after the first one did it the second would've learned. /Groan |
How do elephants sneak across a pool table?
They wear green sneakers. |
Math and Alcohol don't mix, so...
PLEASE DON'T DRINK AND DERIVE |
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Here's a dirty one.. The horse fell in the mud. *initiate groan.exe* |
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Hey im a sort of hippie! *shakes fist angrily* Edit : Here's my joke, What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you? Nacho Cheese! Just awful... |
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, it can't come anyway. I laugh every time I hear it. |
A gentleman was lured into a busy florist shop by a largesign in the window that read, "Say It With Flowers."
"Wrap up one rose," he told the florist. "Only one?" the florist asked. "Just one," the customer replied. "I'm a man of few words." |
an old couple keep forgetting things, and frustrated, they go to a doctor. the doctor tells them that they are just getting old and there is nothing he can do. he does advise them, however, to keep a pad and pencil handy with which to make notes.
the pad and pencil seems to help them. then one day while watching television, the husband announces that he is going into the kitchen to get something to eat. the wife asks him if he can get something for her, too. "sure," he says. "well," she replies, "i'd like some ice cream. but that's one extra thing for you to remember. you'd better write it down." "i can remember ice cream!" he protests. "But i want fresh strawberries on it, too. that's two extra things for you to remember. will you please write it down?" he sighs, "but i'm just going straight to the kitchen. i won't forget!" "okay," she says, "if you insist. but i want whipped cream on the top. that's three extra things for you to remember. should i write it down for you?" "no," he replies, "i'll be able to remember three simple things." after thirty minutes or so, and some banging pots and pans, the husband finally emerges from the kitchen and brings his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. "see?" she cries. "i told you to write it down-- you forgot my toast!" :D |
Two horses walk into a bar. The second one should have seen it coming.
/load -rs C:\Jokes\Stupid\reactions\groan.arg |
So a mathematician, an engineer, and a physicist are out hunting
together. They spy a deer(*) in the woods. The physicist calculates the velocity of the deer and the effect of gravity on the bullet, aims his rifle and fires. Alas, he misses; the bullet passes three feet behind the deer. The deer bolts some yards, but comes to a halt, still within sight of the trio. "Shame you missed," comments the engineer, "but of course with an ordinary gun, one would expect that." He then levels his special deer-hunting gun, which he rigged together from an ordinary rifle, a sextant, a compass, a barometer, and a bunch of flashing lights which don't do anything but impress onlookers, and fires. Alas, his bullet passes three feet in front of the deer, who by this time wises up and vanishes for good. "Well," says the physicist, "your contraption didn't get it either." "What do you mean?" pipes up the mathematician. "Between the two of you, that was a perfect shot!" |
One day, a chicken and an egg decide to have sex. They hop into bed and make wild passionate love. Afterwards, the chicken gets out of bed, lights a cigarette, takes a drag, and says, "Well, I'm glad that question is finally answered.'"
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2 atoms walk into a bar. One says "I think I lost an electron" the other said "are you sure", he said "Yeah I'm positive"
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A woman is standing on a corner, when a man with a frog on his head walks up to her.
The woman looks at the man, and says,"My God! Where did you get that hideous thing?" The frog turns to the woman and says, "I don't know. It started growing out of my ass last week, and it hasn't stopped since." |
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
He was dead. |
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Cause he wanted to have sex with the pidgeon. |
Why don't birds wear underwear?
Because, their pecker is on their head!!!! |
Why did the kid put ice cubes in his father's bed?
He wanted a cold pop! |
Why did the snowman have a big smile on his face?
He heard the snow blower was coming through... What's the difference between a snowman and a snow woman? Snow balls... |
What do you get if you cross a rhinoserous with an elephant??
EleifIknow!!!! |
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I'm telling that one to all my fellow chemistry friends. |
What do you do if your nose goes on strike?
Pick it |
Good to say when someone butts into your conversation:
"This is a taco-burrito converation: Nachos" |
A set of jumper cables walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender looks at them suspiciously and says, "Alright, I'll get you a drink, but if you try to start anything, you'll be thrown out."
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Q: What do you get when you cross 50 female pigs and 50 male deer?
A: One hundred sows-and-bucks Q: Why did the chicken cross the Moebius strip? A: To get to the other ... er, um ... |
Kind of like the ones on popsicle sticks?
What came first the chicken or the egg? The rooster |
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