If I was a dog, I would be licking my nuts right now

creation's passion lies in the fetal dreams of a superior intellect whose flailing thoughts singe fantasy into reality wonderment into hope reproduction into romance crass reality is the burning white flame at the center of existence leaving its brand in the heart and soul of eternity corporal chonometry hibernates in the elusive embriotic vision while omniscient grandeur matriculates amongst the aristocracy of prophetic allusions.


Yeah that sounds about right.

Politics is just a bunch of old dudes talking shit. It's exactly like it was in the school yard, except these old ball-bangers actually control our economy. Has anyone here met a politician? And I'm not talking about some heshian-sack-wearing "independent" politician; I'm talking about the real McCoy. Of course you've never met one. And why would you want to? These old motherfuckers are all up in their ivory towers, taking giant hits of snuff from miniature timbre chests, while playing sedate frames of billiards against their stunning old chums. Who the fuck wants to relate to that type of possibly homosexual life? A politician is the equivalent of an alive dead guy.

There are two types of proper politicians: conservatives, and conservatives who pretend not to be conservatives because they belong to the democrats. There are no succcessful progressive politicians. The definition of a politician is someone who can kick ass at arguing - this is the official definition from the concise "I rule" dictionary - so it is obvious that left-wing people cannot be successful politicians. Left-wingers can't argue for shit. A libertarian's attempt at heated dispute would look like something between a sedated canary and a wilting flower. In short: peace-loving people are fucking wimps.

So basically what you have is a situation where a bunch of money-grabbing, buzzcut 60-year-olds are running about capital cities all over the globe in a disgusting attempt to steal money that my parents worked damn hard for. FUCK YOU, POLITICIANS. I will not stand idly by while 32% of my Potential Allowance Index [PAI] is swept away by an inefficient bunch of leathery old testicles. The duty of the politician is to steal public money. And the duty of me is to kick every politician's ass - except for Arnold Schwarzenegger [because he is too strong].

I wouldn't mind if there were some hot chick politicians. But there are none. Sure there was some pornstar who ran for Governor in California, but those freaks never win. The only successful female politicians are the ones who trade their tits in for a nutsack. You know the type of person I am talking about. I am talking about Margaret goddamn Thatcher. Margaret Thatcher is the archtype of every female politician: ugly as hell, and in league with Satan. Sure, there might be some nice female politicians, but those losers will never be successful, so there is no point counting them.

I hate politicians because they get all types of cool things, like government cars and free 5-star hotel rooms. This would be all good if there were young politicians, like say, me, for example. But there are no me politicians. None at all. All the high-ranking politicians are at least 60 years old. I for one think it is unfair that these hair-shedding old invalids get all the public benefits when they are clearly too old to enjoy them. It's like throwing a stick to a 26-year old rottwheiler: the pathetic creature is so fat, bald, and old that it won't even be able to get to its feet, let alone fetch the goddamn stick - and if you expect it to enjoy the experience, then you are one beer short of a sixpack "old chap".

What the hell does a politician need a $100,000 dollar car for? Is this old fart going to cruise by the local canasta society and pick up some fresh young widowers? Will he "mound up" and blast his stereo in the parking lot of the local lawn bowls club? What exactly is the point? Politicians are so old that they should be given those comical scooter/wheelchair things as Government cars. There is no excuse for the amount of money we spend on bald politicians. Society is like a loser who spends $20,000 repairing an old car that was only worth $200. I have some complicated advice for society: BUY A NEW CAR, FUCKWIT!!!

When will society learn? Old people suck. When I am old I am going to get tattoos, start smoking weed again. Then I will gradually regress to the level of a teenager. I will say things ilke "old people these days, they're the same as they always were: FUCKING OLD AND RETARDED!!!" I will also admit my senility and defer to young people in all matters of importance. I will keep my spirits high by smoking weed and gradually contracting alzheimers. I will teach kids to disobey their parents and I will encourage crime, alcoholism, and grifting. Anyone who tries to stop me is a fucking loser; if you are a girl with good morals, a beautiful smile, and sparkling white teeth: THIS MEANS YOU.

Yeah that's right, you clean cut little bitches are the most annoying people on the face of this Earth. Here is an actual statement from Britney Spears:

"I think we should trust our president in every decision that he makes and we should just support that."

Thanks for that brilliant advice, you FUCKING WHORE.

So if president Bush happens to decide to take a turd in his bathtub, I am supposed to "trust him" and "support that"? What the fuck? "Uh yeah, so I congratulate you, President Bush sir, on your wonderful decision to take a turd in your bathtub." These retarded women always forget that it's his job to make decisions. We don't have to like every one he makes. We're supposed to hurl shit at him every time he fucks up, or it's not a democracy. America is fucked up enough as it is, but imagine what things would be like if we "trusted" and "supported" every decision George Bush made.

Before you start imagining, here are some things that George W. Bush has "decided":

1. That Africa is a nation.
2. That he used to be a "small business growth".
3. That blind musician Stevie Wonder would respond if he waved at him.
4. That he is "a follower of American politics."
5. That everyone who disagrees with him is in league with Al Qaeda.

Imagine what the world would be like if everyone trusted and supported everything a politician said, especially if that politician was George Bush. Africa would become one country, pretzels and Segways would be banned as lethal weapons, and everyone would talk to blind people in sign language. It would be against the law to be poor, and everyone would be forced to live on a ranch in Texas. Plastic surgery to look like a monkey would be compulsory. Society would just be a bunch of scared people doing everything their child-like master said. Oops, isn't American society already like that? Oh well, I guess we're doomed after all. In conclusion, here is a quote from the world's pre-eminent politician, the president of the United States:

"You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, or about why I do things." — George W. Bush, aboard Air Force One, June 4, 2003

<font size=5">it doesn't get any more BULLSHIT than this!!!</font>

o....m.....g...... *dies laughing*

clicky ---> http://bushislord.com/

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha LMAO

<table><tr><td valign=top align=right><img src="http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20040525/capt.la10405252229.courtney_love_la104.jpg" height=250></td><td valign=top><img src="http://411images.com/figures/muppets/janice02.jpg" height=250></td></tr><br />
<tr><td valign=top align=right><img src="http://www.theblurb.com.au/May03Pics/Courtney.jpg" height=250></td><td valign=top><img src="http://www.offthecard.com/features/wwc2003/muppets/15.jpg" height=250></td></tr><br />
<tr><td valign=top align=right><img src="http://www.smokingcelebs.com/l/love5.jpg" height=250></td><td valign=top><img src="http://www.disgalaxy.addr.com/Muppets/janice1.jpg" height=250></td></tr><br />
</table>

...didn't the wrong person pull the trigger?

Today in St Louis it rained horizontal again and the skys turned to tornados and day turned to night and my backyard turned to river.

hear,hear..........





http://www.thecopymacheen.com/GRAPHI...THE_NATION.jpg

Nope, just checked, my fly's not open.

You know how when you look up into the sky and see ducks flying in a "V" formation...one line is always longer than the other.

Know why?

More ducks in that line.

There are no reasonably priced 69-73 mach1 mustangs in Ventura County.

DEAD OR ALIVE 3
part2

FIGURINES...

200yen...

Eating your own snot is actually good for you.

That's kinda disturbing...

<img src="http://photobucket.com/albums/1003/m0us33/NewGasPumpProcedure2.jpg" border="2">

i remember reading some online article about this. something to the effect that it helps to build immunities... sumthin like that. i still think i'll just stick to my vitamin supplement, echinacea & a well balanced diet, etc....

Horesefeathers, I say

jumbo shrimp?

Nothing with eyes Sir,

and what I should have said was.. you owe me 264.27 ToDAy.

TTOOODAY>I am a fucking pussy and I wish I were strong like her,or her,or you.but no matter,Everything will turn out fine,I promise.
liar,I wish.
Sweet like a mouthful of crushed red peppers.
You've never approved of my hair,I wanted to tell you run.
If you knew what I was thinking you would have...
Yes,I will get some sunshine this year,
Show her why i need pants and sleeves,She'd piss herself,
I adore it.
Why are you up chain smoking?You shouldn't drink alone.You have to sleep sometime.Don't you?You'll bore me to sleep in no time.
You know this right?Could you die,for me?A little,perhaps? feel something like death,for me,I owe it to you..
I was pleased to see that your thighs had gotten so fat.I'm sorry that I made you sad and I am sorry that you kept me sick,Don't tell her I puked.again.I should have never let you read my books and You should have never let me write in yours.
A whole pizza?
That's grand.
I will be over to redo the garden on tuesday,and I want my green sweater back,You look like a boy in it,
and like I didn't say out loud...you owe me 264.27

Brilliant!

some weirdo annoyed us at the pub tonight.
hate that.
pity we're too nice.
drunk.
in love with the world.
but not some things.
like, well, things i used to love.
they suck now.
disappointong
upset now
wish things were old again
not so
but love new ways
lots of work due
worried
in love,
maybe not
enamoured
maybe
lots
of people
loving life
interesting twists tonight
stop playing
finish
not sure
unsure
wish it were different
no
how to say
not say
but mean
crush
no
love
no
need
yes
time
yes
understand
no
why
no
online
change
?
maybe needed
stagnant
bored
twitchy
scared
manly
need
battle
controversy
scandal
conflict
yes
need
yes
want
yes
read
no.

it's time

that was awfully good...

Wow.. a lot of bull shit lol.
That pic of that persons eye ewwwww that looked painfull and gross.

David Bowie stares at me. It gives me the heebie jeebies. I think I'm going to confront him. But when he gives me the karate eyes I just................I just fall to pieces.



I'm so alone.

<img src="http://wonderland.illtel.denver.co.us/pictures/bullshit.jpg">

I once shot a man just to watch him die... but then I got distracted, and I missed it. My friends tried to describe it to me, but... it just wasn't the same.

*sigh*

-Western Gunfighter character, Dave Foley, Kids In The Hall

Security Guard: All right son, I'm going to need those two hams back.
Chris Griffin: I... I don't have any hams.
Security Guard: Lift up your shirt son.
Chris Griffin: I need an adult. I need an adult.
Security Guard: You're not a shoplifter, you're just a fat kid. Sorry about that fatty, fat, fatty. Hey Tom, he's just a fat kid. Aren't ya fatty? He's a big ol' fat kid. Here's some chocolate fatso.
Chris Griffin: Thanks.



Old Man: Hey, muscly arm, why the long face?
Chris: It's this girl. I can't talk to her. It's like girls are a different species or something.
Old Man: Who needs them? You like Popsicles?
Chris: Well, sure.
Old Man: Then you need to come on down to the cellar. I got a whole freezer full of Popsicles.
Chris: No, thanks. I gotta get going.
Old Man: Don't make me beg now.
Chris: You're funny. Bye.
Old Man: Get your fat ass back here.


*sigh* family guy.

A tisket a tasket ,A little yellow basket.I wrote a letter to my mommy,On the way I dropped it,I dropped it I dropped it,Yes,On the way I dropped it a little girly picked it up and put it in her pocket.A tisket a tasket a little yellow basket I wrote a letter to my mommy,on the way I dropped it.I dropped it,Yes on the way I dropped it a little girly picked it up and put in her pocket.

this is how we do it up here......


http://volcano.photobucket.com/album...y_cup_bong.jpg

Did you just post a pic of a big hookah and a minor? Hmmm?

no minors there............and it's the stanley fucking cup hookah baby

Yes yes it is... but I say the boy on the right is sixteen...

Sshhhh...listen! Do you smell that? It smell like...infinity...or maybe rotten eggs, I can never tell the two apart.

STFUalready

ni!

Tuna on rye!

kaslgdaet34qoi6uqefbmfdlh g;dsfkjaskljfskjfreuirnvmxnc vlcxkglhwhgvcdvltproetkodfjgkfdgliadshfasdjnvmnvblk.hjigujsdafhndmvsfcnfkjsdtrsruweoriueoiurfjjgnnfdkdkhjrnermn,clfkkrklrkgjigjdj;ldfajglkjdflksdVAGINAkjsd;lfkjalkfjlskjflksjflksfdjklsjflkasdfsdfsdfakwljrlkwerweiurawpourp3ou453owu45dofjklgj43h9y5843ethkjaegh4u3hwjcfhiwudtrhxoaeiwurcaoieutpowitucowsfdsjhlakdlgkuwrtgsdfgfdhgserytrytrta;sj;lasdf

oh god yes!!!

and the band played on...

yes they did........


http://volcano.photobucket.com/album...of_D_chord.jpg

"...and lo, the crucified Christ was resurrected......and a gigantic rabbit didst hop about the land, spreading colorful boiled eggs."

The Biblical Origin of the Easter Bunny

thats a fukin lie and you know it!!!!

"and lo, the limp phallus was resurrected......and a gigantic playboy bunny didst hop about the land, spreading long tanned legs."

The Biblical Origin of the Easter Bundy

That's a pretty hellacious one-two combo right there.


This was my mom's favorite joke for who-knows how long...

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?









Stick.

where's my painter?????

GAH...........

i'll do the painting bernie...

http://bundytfp.customer.netspace.ne...clean_nose.jpg

http://bundytfp.customer.netspace.ne...lean_nose2.jpg

http://bundytfp.customer.netspace.ne...lean_nose3.jpg
note the lovely wallpaper...

hmmm... come to think about it... i really wouldn't hire me.

Post more random bullshit!

good night

Lullaby
by W. H. Auden

Lay Your Sleeping head, my love,
Human on my faithless arm:
Time and fevers burn away
Individual beauty from
Thoughtful children, and the grave
Proves the child ephemeral:
But in my arms till break of day
Let the living creature lie,
Mortal, guilty, but to me
The entirely beautiful.

Soul and body have no bounds:
To lovers as they lie upon
Her tolerant enchanted slope
In their ordinary swoon,
Grave the vision Venus sends
Of supernatural sympathy,
Universal love and hope;
While an abstract insight wakes
Among the glaciers and the rocks
The hermit's carnal ecstasy,

Certainty, fidelity
On the stroke of midnight pass
Like vibrations of a bell
And fashionable madmen raise
Their pedantic boring cry:
Every farthing of the cost.
All the dreaded cards foretell.
Shall be paid, but from this night
Not a whisper, not a thought.
Not a kiss nor look be lost.

Beauty, midnight, vision dies:
Let the winds of dawn that blow
Softly round your dreaming head
Such a day of welcome show
Eye and knocking heart may bless,
Find our mortal world enough;
Noons of dryness find you fed
By the involuntary powers,
Nights of insult let you pass
Watched by every human love.

Turn the pages of this old book
Sounds (Feels?) familiar, it may be worth a second look
Wrapping up dope in a paper bag
Talking to yourself taking a drag
What does it matter the things you say
They'll never hear it anyway
Gotta get past the negative things
Lawyers and business, you get what you bring
No one's sorry you did it yourself
It's time to relax now and then give it hell

Someday you'll find what you're looking for
Someday you'll find everything you're looking for

You didn't bet on the Dodgers to beat the Giants
And David came up,

Now you gotta pay up
You didn't count on that
Geez, half the money's gone
The month is still young
Where are you gonna go now?

You gotta trust someone

Trust someone

Someone to trust.

Can't go to your brother

Cause that money's all gone

Can't go to your friends


Someday you'll find what you're looking for
Someday you'll find everything you're looking for
Someday you'll find everything you're looking for
Someday you'll find everything you're looking for, yeah

Made out like a bandit for so many years
What're you looking for?
One more big score?
What're you trying to prove?
Try to get closer but not too close

(Try to get past it but not too far past it)
Try to get through but not be through
No one can touch you now

No one can touch you now
I can touch you now

(Nobody can see you now

But I can see you)
You're invisible, you've got too many secrets
Bob Dylan said that
Or something like that

Someday you'll find what you're looking for
Someday you'll find everything you're looking for
Someday you'll find everything you're looking for
Someday you'll find everything you're looking for, yeah

I believe life is like a Slim Jim...think on that.

Discuss.

hmmm...

yes, you have a strong point.

i don't understand what a Slim Jim is; and this corresonds directly with my lack of understanding regarding the meaning of life...

H12, you should write a book about Slim Jims.

long brown stick

So tonight I'll ask the stars above,How did I ever win your love,What did I do, what did I say,To turn your Angel Eyes my way?Don't anyone wake me if it's just a dream,Aw - she's the best thing that ever happened to me,All you fellows, you can look all your life,But this girl you see is leavin' here with me tonight.There's just one more thing I need to know,If this is love why does it scare me so?Must be something only you could see,'Cause girl I feel it when you look at me. <3

So tonight I'll ask the stars above,
"How did I ever win your love?"
What did I do?
What did I say,
to turn your angel eyes my way?

I set em up.......................



You rape their mothers.

i call bullshit.



"bullshit.".........."heeeerrrrre bullshit".........."come on boy"

http://www.sunseeker.com/videos/predator95big.mov

http://www.sunseeker.com/videos/yacht94big.mov

http://www.sunseeker.com/videos/xs2000big.mov

Hi, I'm crow_daw, and I show much flex when it's time to rock a mic.

*heavy guitar riff sets in*

"Yes, boys and gals, it's the new Domestic-Abuse Danny action figure!"

*riff goes faster and harder*

"Danny comes with both judo-chop and backhand action!"

*drums set in*

"Act now, and get free batteries so you can hear him say ''Debbie, where in the fuck is my beer?!?''"

*close-ups of Danny in action are shown*

"Domestic-Abuse Danny...coming to a store near you!!"

*music fades out*

Here we go.

Number one, I was flying down the old Neco and she told me to watch out, so I left the car in the back and took out seventeen of them old catloon blinder and gave her a terrible headache. She left me alone in the desert and I had to walk to Los Gueno with nothing in my pack but a pile of snakes and four carrots.


Number two, I had these trees in the back of the lot and they were looking pretty beat up, so I gave them each a new suit and hat and told them to straighten up and fly right. They looked at me and said nothing, but I know that on the inside they were cursing me, telling me that I had no right to leave them now, no right to show them what they were missing. I figured they'd get over it and headed out the front door.


Number three, the time was 4:37 pm on a quiet Tuesday in the middle of May and I was on my way to Kathmandu to meet up with the guru. He'd told me in a dream that if I came to find him he'd show me the way back home. Even I knew, he meant my real home. I was looking through the last tavern in town, trying hard to find anyone with a couple of winters worth of hate and suffering, trying hard to find the one who could let me know where I was, but there were only smiles and "how do you do"'s and laughter and clear, wild liquor. I was lost now, and the guru wasn't talking anymore. The truth is he was long dead, but that's not the point of this story.


Number four, I knew it was late, but I had time for that sort of thing. She was looking at me like I was some sort of wild creature, trapped and injured, like she wanted to set me free but she was afraid I might kill her if she did. I was all right, though, and she had nothing to worry about. I think she may have been a little drunk, but the real issue was the fact that she had a gun and all I had was a bottle of White Star and half a walking stick. She led me out of the station and into a dark room full of noise and calamity. She had a plan, you see, and I wasn't going to enjoy it. Her only trouble was my left leg, which had pretty much healed by now.


Number five, I was crying, see, when they came and took me away. They stared at me for hours, days even, and all I could do was cry at them, scream at them, throw stones and dust and long howls at them. They didn't seem to mind, though, and when I was done they took me back to the centre and held me there for a fortnight. I was tired and lonely, but they kept me warm and full. They had long legs and quiet eyes, and they let me think about whatever I could manage. They took long walks together when they thought I was sleeping, but I was really watching them. I suppose I could have gone, then, but they knew I wouldn't, they knew I was safe and calm and lost at the same time. They knew me.


Number six, it was a particularly dark evening on the 16th of June, and I was walking alone on the beach by the lighthouse. I was getting toward the rocks, and was thinking about going back, when it struck me: I was walking right into a trap. By the time I had turned around to run, they were on me, tying me, pulling and pushing me, throwing me into the ocean. I was left there for a while, tied to the bottom by a huge grey rope attached to a huge grey boulder resting on the huge grey ocean floor. I guess it was the following Sunday before she came and got me, but I had been dead for a long time, by then.


Number seven, I knew she had come for the money, but I wasn't about to let her take my life away like that. She was guilty and greedy at the same time, so she just stood there for a while before I finally said anything. "So I guess it's about that time, isn't it love?" And she looked at me hard and cold and said, "You told me that it was going to be alright. You could have lied, you know. You could have told me that I was in trouble and that I wasn't going to get out of there alive. You had your chance to tell me, and you just said, 'Oh sure, you'll be alright, I know these folks.'" I looked back at her and started to scream and she just took the money and left. I followed her after about half an hour, and that's when the real fun started.


Number eight, I had a lot on my mind when she tapped me on the shoulder that cold December morning. I was thinking about how much I loved her and how little she needed me. I was worried that she'd finally decided that she was through with me, through trying to cheer me up, through trying to make me smile. You see, she meant a lot to me, but when I had finally worked up the nerve to do anything about it, when I had finally decided that there might be something there, a chance for me to love her, she'd decided that I wasn't worth cheering up anymore. So when she tapped me on the shoulder and I turned around to see her smiling at me I thought I was dreaming. I took her head in my hands and kissed her, right there, in the middle of the street. It was the first time I'd ever kissed a woman and meant it. It was about half a second into the kiss that I realized what I was doing.


Number nine, the west was calling my name, again. I packed two bags, one with food and clothes and money and such things, the other with two forty foot lengths of good rope and a couple of good canes and twelve books, all completely blank save one. That one was special to me. I'd had it ever since my little trip to Los Gueno so long ago. When I woke up in Los Gueno I found it in my bag, next to the last of the snakes. A black mamba if I recall correctly. It told me everything I needed to know, and whenever I read from it I found what I was looking for. It was as much a part of me as I was it. I knew what it had in mind for me, and I was planning on showing it that I could be the master of my own fate.


Here's what it told me:

One day I went to bed really late and woke up really early only for me to find out I went to bed quite early and woke up pretty damn late.

I once knew a guy that was so strong he could bend a Silver dollar in his ass-crack.

The thoughts that enter my head, I can't control them. I try to picture white static in order to drown them out, but they wont go away. I end up obsessing about how to shorten the pants that I just bought second hand and didnt' realize they were four inches too long. Not that its a big deal, but do you have them hemmed or do you try and make them hip by cutting them your self and then fraying them out?
Then after realizing that I am obsessing about how to shorten my pants, I obsess about obsessing. Why am I am obsessing? Do other people notice? Well, of course they do. Does it weird them out? Of course it does.

I need more to do.

Sir.
 

Nonsense,if you ask me.Today is the day.Public,big step,Stronger by the day.No corn dog for dinner,Have sixed for lunch.This will work out well.Up and gone is a great thing.I say. Lemme see ya in a suit.A dark one,and wear a bold tie.


*stands behind you pretty and mean*

KWSN.

thing?
 

When you're weary, feeling small,
when tears are in your eyes, I’ll dry them all.
I'm on your side, oh, when you need a friend
when times get rough and friends just can't be found,
like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down.

When you're down and out, when you're on the street,
when evening falls so hard, I will comfort you.
I'll take your part, oh, when darkness comes
and pain is all around,
like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down.

Sail on silver girl, sail on by.
Your time has come to shine, All your dreams are on their way.
See how they shine, oh and when you need a friend,
I'm sailing right behind
Like a bridge over troubled water, I will ease your mind.
Like a bridge over troubled water, I will ease your mind.

Sometimes I feel like there's so much beauty in the world..................I just can't take it.*tear*

He who wears the flip-flops laughs last.

Discuss.

Only because he is the last of his click to see how funny looking his feet really are in them.

Anyone who isn't incarcerated or at the pool or beach shouldnt be allowed to wear them.

There are few exeptions... such as... men who are soon to be incarcerated and girls who appear to soon be going to the beach.(you know the look) anyone else should please do me the personal favor of keeping their hairy pale,unmanicured toes out of my sight.As fetching as the little thong is between an ugly foots toes I still have yet to see the beauty in it. I would fucking laugh too.

never mind.....:hmm:

Well, I used to drive a cab, you know
I heard a siren scream
Pulled over to the corner
And I fell into a dream
There were two men eating pennies
And three young girls who cried
The West coast is falling,
I see rocks in the sky.
The preacher took his bible
And laid it on the stool.
He said: with the congregation running,
Why should I play the fool?

Well, I used to be a woman, you know
I took you for a ride,
I let you fly my airplane
It looked good for your pride.
'Cause you're the kind of man you know
Who likes what he says.
I wonder what's it's like
To be so far over my head.
Well, the lady made the wedding
And she brought along the ring.
She got down on her knees
And said: Let's get on with this thing.

Well, I used to be a folk singer
Keeping managers alive,
When you saw me on a corner
And told me I was jive.
So I unlocked your mind, you know
To see what I could see.
If you guarantee the postage,
I'll mail you back the key.
Well I woke up in the morning
With an arrow through my nose
There was an Indian in the corner
Tryin' on my clothes.

Well, I used to be asleep you know
With blankets on my bed.
I stayed there for a while
'Til they discovered I was dead.
The coroner was friendly
And I liked him quite a lot.
If I hadn't 've been a woman
I guess I'd never have been caught.
They gave me back my house and car
And nothing more was said.

Well, I was driving down the freeway
When my car ran out of gas.
Pulled over to the station
But I was afraid to ask.
The servicemen were yellow
And the gasoline was green.
Although I knew I couldn't
I thought that I was gonna scream.
That was on my last trip to Tulsa
Just before the snow.
If you ever need a ride there,
Be sure to let me know.

I was chopping down a palm tree
When a friend dropped by to ask
If I would feel less lonely
If he helped me swing the axe.
I said: No, it's not a case of being lonely
We have here,
I've been working on this palm tree
For eighty seven years
I said: No, it's not a case of being lonely
We have here,
I've been working on this palm tree
For eighty seven years
He said: Go get lost!
And walked towards his Cadillac.
I chopped down the palm tree
And it landed on his back.

I'm listening to all of you

(It'd be truthful if I said I was ignoring everyone's posts aside from my own :D)

I'm sorry.

What?

That was a far more beautiful response than I ever expected. Thank you. Now, for more discussion...


A bobblehead is much more reliable than a magic 8-ball, yet a magic 8-ball is much more multi-purpose than the bobblehead.

Discuss.

Bobbleheads always agree, so they're the perfect best friends.

You'll never be wrong again.
Muha.

Magic 8-balls have poopy ink.

Whatever, just don't involve my girlfriend.

CATS! I'M A KITTY CAT!
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/kittycat.php

bullshit you say?
meow meow meow

My bobble-head Justin Timberlake doll only says no,So I can ask specific questions.. but all signs point to the magic 8-ball.It can be used as a weapon in the event it leads you into trouble. :) So...It shold be obvious.

bundy, <b>this is no bullshit.</b>
i am really impressed with how quickly you've picked up your graphics editing skills.

RAWK ON \m/

Across the street I can see someone in their car. What is this guy doing in his car? I know now but before he got out and went to the door of the house across the street I didn't have a clue. My mind wandered.

Is he doing drugs?

Is he stalking the girl that lives across the street? If thats the case he isn't doing a very good job. He parked right there. Come on guy, at least park down the street in a car with tinted windows. Don't forget these very important things when stalking. drink a lot of water from bottles. This way you can pee in the bottles when you're done. When you need to get some excercise do it late at night when you know shes asleep. Then you can walk around and familiarize yourself with the neighborhood. This way you will know it well when she starts running from you. God knows she wont get away will she? Sleep for a half hour at a time. When you're sleeping keep the camcorder running and only sleep at night because there is less of a chance that she will escape. When she does leave wait a second and then follow her slowly, it has to be slowly because that is creepier. The point here, remember is to make your presense known, but only like the wind.

Shit hes still there, I know he is from College pro painters and he is writing up a bid, but at least move on from the front of the house fucker.

FACT OR FICTION: Pineapples...fruit of Satan, bringers of bad news, and enders of all that is anti-festive.


Discuss.

Pineapples are one of the few natural sources of bromine enzymes,Found to aid in digestion,Gifts from god to anyone with pancreas conditons.


I take it you have danced with a pineapple?

They can really bust a move,I consider that festive.

you can't roller skate in a buffalo herd...

when you say you're hungover like a shithouse rat,....do you wake up in the loo with cheese in your vomit?

No.

Have you ever noticed that the more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets?

no. but then i have never run over a dead cat, so... there ya go.

those pretzals are making me thirsty.

BEER............

wobbly pops!!!

<embed src="http://www.melaman2.com/tvshows/mp3/Benny_Hill_Show.mp3", loop=TRUE, hidden=TRUE>eh astro? :D cheers!

I have been called upon by a greater power to cause more discussion.


Flamingos...ever-graceful in their movements, but do they have a secret sinister plan in their minds that they're hiding with their beauty and elegance?

Discuss.

To rid the world of brine shrimp. Duh!

I was thinking more along the lines of Slinky's, but yes, brine shrimp also could work.

no one will know what the moon will look like from another planet.

let go of MY eggo.

YEAH.

btw i am sleepy.