Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Chatter > Tilted Fun Zone


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 07-11-2003, 09:02 PM   #1 (permalink)
Idolator
 
crow_daw's Avatar
 
Location: Vol Country
The Totally Random Bullshit Thread.

At certain times throughout the course of human history, it becomes necessary to make a thread for Totally Random Bullshit.

This is one of those times.

Works like this, I write some Totally Random Bullshit, then you write some Totally Random Bullshit. It doesn't have to be related to my TRB or anything. It can be anything at all, there are no limits, but try to make it mildly funny. I start.






The grass grows.
The earth spins.
The time passes.
Yet all the while, the noble yak lies in wait.






Side note: I got a feeling Bones may excel at this, if it doesn't die off.
__________________
"We each have a star, all we have to do is find it. Once you do, everyone who sees it will be blinded." - Earl Simmons
crow_daw is offline  
Old 07-11-2003, 09:20 PM   #2 (permalink)
Deliberately unfocused
 
grumpyolddude's Avatar
 
Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby
There's a ring around the moon
Like the one you put through my nose
You changed me to a beggar
disguised in prince's clothes
Did our parting upset you?
I don't know, it never shows
But look just once at what its doing to me.
__________________
"Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard
grumpyolddude is offline  
Old 07-11-2003, 09:21 PM   #3 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Stiltzkin's Avatar
 
Iraq doesn't have weapons of mass destruction; we just had a bad itch to start smashing things, so why not pick on one of the weakest countries in the world?

Everyone is fucking ignorant, especially me. Einstein was full of bullshit.

I want to get drunk off my ass at least once, and have a tape recorder going so I can listen to everything I said, then type it out, edit it, and publish it.

More to come later... maybe, if apathy doesn't consume me once more
__________________
The most important thing in this world is love.

Last edited by Stiltzkin; 05-31-2004 at 02:30 PM..
Stiltzkin is offline  
Old 07-11-2003, 09:53 PM   #4 (permalink)
Conspiracy Realist
 
Sun Tzu's Avatar
 
Location: The Event Horizon
There is a certain climax in life, at which, notwithstanding all our freedom, and however much we may have denied all directing reason and goodness in the beautiful chaos of existence, we are once more in great danger of intellectual bondage, and have to face our hardest test. For now the thought of a personal providence first presents itself before us with its most persuasive force, and has the best of I advocates, apparentness, in its favor, now when it is obvious that all and everything that happens to us always turns out for the best. The life of every day and of every hour seems to be anxious for nothing else but always to prove this proposition I anew, let it be what it will, bad or good weather, the loss of a friend, a sickness, a calumny, the non-receipt of a letter, the spraining of one's! foot, a glance into a shop-window, a counter-argument, the opening of a book, a dream, a deception-it shows itself immediately, or very soon afterwards, as something "not permitted to be absent,"-it is full of profound significance and utility precisely for?sS! Is there a more dangerous temptation to rid ourselves of the belief in the Gods of Epicurus, those careless, unknown Gods, and believe in some anxious and mean Divinity, who knows person ally every little hair on our heads, and feels no disgust in rendering the most wretched services? Well-I mean in spite of all this! we want to leave the Gods alone (and the serviceable genii likewise), and wish to content ourselves with the assumption that our own practical and theoretical skillfulness in explaining and suitably arranging events has now reached its highest point. We do not want either to think too highly of this dexterity of our wisdom, when the wonderful harmony which results from playing on our instrument sometimes surprises us I too much: a harmony which sounds too well for us to dare to ascribe it to ourselves. In fact, now and then there is one who plays with us-beloved Chance: he leads our hand occasionally, and even the all-wisest Providence could not devise any finer music than that of which our foolish hand is then capable.
__________________
To confine our attention to terrestrial matters would be to limit the human spirit.- Stephen Hawking
Sun Tzu is offline  
Old 07-11-2003, 09:58 PM   #5 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Tennessee
I think that if Rod Stewart had a prosthetic leg, then he would rule the world.
MaGlC_MaN is offline  
Old 07-11-2003, 10:13 PM   #6 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Stiltzkin's Avatar
 
Take this yes, no, always go where there is much more to be said about all that there is and isn't. How can I know where the sun will go, if no one will tell me where I need to go? How soon is the now that is mostly forever, but never to be here and yet always gone tomorrow. Doe the rivers flow across the mountain only to find on the other side that there is more or less of what there was already not on the other side? How can the sky be so vast and huge when it is already what it is and isn't, yet is up so high and now knows as well as the Earth, all that it is.

I read somewhere that if you do a lot of "free writing"-- writing nonstop and just letting the shit flow, even if it doesn't make sense, it'll make you a better writer. *shrugs* Who knows.
__________________
The most important thing in this world is love.
Stiltzkin is offline  
Old 07-11-2003, 10:27 PM   #7 (permalink)
Lost
 
Munku's Avatar
 
Location: Florida
I think that chickens should run for president. Like a flock of turkeys, 5-10 of them. They could easily gang rape Bush and tear his limbs off like in southpark you know. And like turkeys are cool.
Munku is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 12:46 AM   #8 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: Sydney, Australia
I know what I like and I like a lot of it.
Macheath is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 12:54 AM   #9 (permalink)
I and I
 
Location: Stillwater, OK
There is no food that barbecue sauce can't make better.

Do I understand your question, man, is it hopeless and forlorn?
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm." - Bob Dylan

The moon is the most beautiful when it's almost full but not quite.

Never get suckered into installing ceiling fans.
Gortexfogg is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 02:00 AM   #10 (permalink)
Veteran
 
Snoogans's Avatar
 
Location: Uppsala, Sweden
Japanese tampon dudes are the greatest beings the world has ever seen.
<--- Just look at it.
__________________
Internet hint: If someone's asking if what they do is weird, it always is.
Snoogans is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 02:33 AM   #11 (permalink)
Conspiracy Realist
 
Sun Tzu's Avatar
 
Location: The Event Horizon
I went up stiff stalk
and looked out gimmie gill

I saw mother whaley backer diggin up fum fackers
I called out Tom Whacker
to chase mother whaley backer
out of fillie fum facker.
__________________
To confine our attention to terrestrial matters would be to limit the human spirit.- Stephen Hawking
Sun Tzu is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 03:23 AM   #12 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
uncle phil's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: upstate
...marching to the tune played by gilhooley mahoney and his leprechaun marching band as the teddy bears went to their picnic in sleeper jammies...
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
uncle phil is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 03:55 AM   #13 (permalink)
Fly
see the links to my music?
 
Fly's Avatar
 
Location: Beautiful British Columbia
.....so the bitch says..."i don't wanna put that in my mouth."

then,some other chick says.....

ooops sorry.....wrong fuckin' thread again
__________________
BASTARD

SterlingStudios
Fly is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 05:36 AM   #14 (permalink)
Justified
 
Location: West Lafayette, IN
..."i'll put that in my mouth"

so I say, "Bitch please. You must have a mental disease."

So the first bitch says, "No! Me! God dammit"

So I say, "Fuck you, cunts. Share!"
__________________
Take notice. Take interest. Take me with you.
tikki is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 06:11 AM   #15 (permalink)
Indifferent to anti-matter
 
vermin's Avatar
 
Location: Tucson, AZ
Barking dogs have something to say.

Toenails are evolution's way of saying we should cut our socks off.

Lysol kill athlete's foot, but stings.

Shakespeare was a hack. Just because HE wrote like that, doesn't mean people back then understood it anymore than people do now.

Cheese is salty. Learn it. Know it. Live it.

Nipples

There comes a time in every man's life when he must stand up to the voices of negativity and scream "No, I will not kill 'em all!".

Pesticides don't work on annoying neighbors.
__________________
If puns were sausages, this would be the wurst.
vermin is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 09:55 AM   #16 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: London, CorBlimeyLand
Nothing's perfect so there's nothing to say FUCK YOU to.

I speak therefore I yap.

Hello, now. Bye now!

Ohayo Gozaimasu. Now fuck off.

Eh?
__________________
?
Pyrate is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 09:56 AM   #17 (permalink)
green
 


founded by:



Bonito Mussolini
__________________
Your arms are broken!
KWSN is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 12:21 PM   #18 (permalink)
Know Where!
 
MacGnG's Avatar
 


MacGnG is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 10:25 PM   #19 (permalink)
Idolator
 
crow_daw's Avatar
 
Location: Vol Country
Quote:
Originally posted by maglc_man
I think that if Rod Stewart had a prosthetic leg, then he would rule the world.
That's fucking hilarious.

In the backwoods of South Dakota there lives an old Indian man by the name of Tim. He lives in his shack with his goldfish, Biscuit. He patiently toils his earth and enjoys his daily ration of gruel. This, my friends, is the stuff dreams are made of.
__________________
"We each have a star, all we have to do is find it. Once you do, everyone who sees it will be blinded." - Earl Simmons
crow_daw is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 10:28 PM   #20 (permalink)
lonely rolling star
 
sadistikdreams's Avatar
 
Location: Seattle.
I am god. You will all live until you're 26, and if your 27, i will defecate you. Er...

decapitate.
__________________
"Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone.
The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials.
"
-Lin Yutang

hearts, by d.a.
sadistikdreams is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 10:39 PM   #21 (permalink)
Insane
 
i'm hungry
stinkynutz is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 10:52 PM   #22 (permalink)
Upright
 
You know, I always wondered...when you shut the refridgerator door, does the light really go off? Sure, when you press the button, it goes off, but who's to say it stays that way when the door is shut? Through the powers of a video camera, I have discovered the answer...

...The light goes off.
CCHSDawg is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 11:21 PM   #23 (permalink)
The Northern Ward
 
Location: Columbus, Ohio
<img src="http://mediaservice.photoisland.com/auction/Jul/20037122276441852902802.jpg">

If only Dr. Cacaphodel had known that years before:

<img src="http://mediaservice.photoisland.com/auction/Jul/20037122174698785037836.jpg">
__________________
"I went shopping last night at like 1am. The place was empty and this old woman just making polite conversation said to me, 'where is everyone??' I replied, 'In bed, same place you and I should be!' Took me ten minutes to figure out why she gave me a dirty look." --Some guy
Phaenx is offline  
Old 07-13-2003, 12:57 PM   #24 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
uncle phil's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: upstate
...as we watch the setting moon over paradigm...
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
uncle phil is offline  
Old 07-13-2003, 01:25 PM   #25 (permalink)
The Northern Ward
 
Location: Columbus, Ohio
A squirrell crosses the road. He is hit by a car. The moral of the story is to eat your vegetables.
__________________
"I went shopping last night at like 1am. The place was empty and this old woman just making polite conversation said to me, 'where is everyone??' I replied, 'In bed, same place you and I should be!' Took me ten minutes to figure out why she gave me a dirty look." --Some guy
Phaenx is offline  
Old 07-13-2003, 02:31 PM   #26 (permalink)
Dumb all over...a little ugly on the side
 
Sion's Avatar
 
Location: In the room where the giant fire puffer works, and the torture never stops.


__________________
He's the best, of course, of all the worst.
Some wrong been done, he done it first. -fz

I jus' want ta thank you...falettinme...be mice elf...agin...
Sion is offline  
Old 07-13-2003, 03:01 PM   #27 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: Groningen, Netherlands
When you burp, try to pronounce 'Gorbatschov'.
__________________
-Life, liberty and the pursuit of hamburgers.
isandro is offline  
Old 07-13-2003, 07:02 PM   #28 (permalink)
Upright
 
A cat will land feet-first. A piece of bread will land peanut-butter side-first. A cat with peanut-buttered bread strapped onto its back will float in a state of quantum indecision.
CCHSDawg is offline  
Old 07-13-2003, 07:17 PM   #29 (permalink)
Fly
see the links to my music?
 
Fly's Avatar
 
Location: Beautiful British Columbia
yup....




__________________
BASTARD

SterlingStudios
Fly is offline  
Old 07-13-2003, 08:07 PM   #30 (permalink)
Loose Cunt
 
Meridae'n's Avatar
 
Location: North Bondi RSL
There is no such place as Nantucket...
__________________
What's easier to believe: that a guy was born without sex in the manner of several Greek demigods and grew up to be able to transmute liquids and alter his body density yet couldn't escape government execution, or that three freemasons in a vehicle made with aluminum foil in an era before digital technology escaped our atmosphere, landing on the moon, broadcasted from there, and then flew back without burning up?
Meridae'n is offline  
Old 07-13-2003, 10:13 PM   #31 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Stiltzkin's Avatar
 
-------------------------------------------
__________________
The most important thing in this world is love.

Last edited by Stiltzkin; 05-31-2004 at 02:31 PM..
Stiltzkin is offline  
Old 07-13-2003, 11:19 PM   #32 (permalink)
Upright
 
So I went to the dentist one day...long story short, P. Diddy's my uncle.
CCHSDawg is offline  
Old 07-13-2003, 11:56 PM   #33 (permalink)
Idolator
 
crow_daw's Avatar
 
Location: Vol Country
".....and what happens when that one armed freak is fingering you and his arm gets tired?Huh?!?!?! Its not like he has many options!!!!! I can do that for you girl!!! I CAN SWITCH IT UP!!!!!!"
__________________
"We each have a star, all we have to do is find it. Once you do, everyone who sees it will be blinded." - Earl Simmons
crow_daw is offline  
Old 07-14-2003, 09:55 AM   #34 (permalink)
Upright
 
I once read about how someone beleived that your wang was made of pure cartilage. I laughed, and thought to myself "If that's true, I'll never be scared when I watch Jaws again, since he's just a giant wang with teeth and a fin."
CCHSDawg is offline  
Old 07-14-2003, 11:57 AM   #35 (permalink)
Idolator
 
crow_daw's Avatar
 
Location: Vol Country
Quote:
Originally posted by Bones
watching old people fall down on an icy sidewalk also makes me laugh
if you live in an area where sidewalks don't get icy, just club them with something blunt like a motherfucking chair leg.

thats pretty awesome.

In my ongoing studies on the subject, I have discovered that 9 times out of 10, the manatee doesn't even realize there's a problem.
__________________
"We each have a star, all we have to do is find it. Once you do, everyone who sees it will be blinded." - Earl Simmons
crow_daw is offline  
Old 07-14-2003, 12:12 PM   #36 (permalink)
Upright
 
It would appear that industrilized anal lube would be cheaper than the individual tubes, however...the waterballoon still falls the same.

Thank You
thefatbaby is offline  
Old 07-14-2003, 12:45 PM   #37 (permalink)
Know Where!
 
MacGnG's Avatar
 
ascasnmg cxcz z76 2czxkz8,zzferxgvtyjy vhjtvt3cr45t46thrt
MacGnG is offline  
Old 07-14-2003, 12:46 PM   #38 (permalink)
Upright
 
"Kick up the bass up and I bun up the place up...make I pick up the pace up and make them wine up them waist up
We them want fi erase up but we style them embrace up...but them can't stop the music so great up weh we create up
Me say year onto year me haffi a tell them straight up...man a no punk man a no fool...definate we a sent no bait up
Unu fi listen to the lyrics 'pon de riddem weh we state up...if you love how we sound let me see you hand them wave up"
--Sean Paul

A Monopoly dollar to the person who makes sense out of what he said.
CCHSDawg is offline  
Old 07-14-2003, 03:05 PM   #39 (permalink)
not your typical god-fearing junkie
 
Location: State of Confusion
so i sit here waiting for my computer to lock up with my aviator glasses on my head and then i realize i have no need for punctuation anymore no need for capital letters and certainly no sense of where one sentence ends and another begins i shall try to keep this as long as possible when i say that life is simpler this way no need to rehearse and cohearse what comes from my fingers is what i feel so in this is comfort same thing would happen in a world without rules simpler at first but then everything breaks down no organization no coherancy i suppose its best that we do have punctuation and spelling and i think ive done rather well spelling here now fact is though that if you read this straight through youd have a lot of trouble understanding really what was going on well probably best that way this whole thing is really turning into a bad grammar test that really wont end you know the sort put the comma in the right place capitalize your proper nouns and all that other hooplah frankly i dont see where grammar gets us all a bunch of little scribbles and marks that really just complicate things but then again i guess that is what language is a bunch of little scribbles and odd marks that are recognized by our brain as letters and words sometimes i wish i could make up letters that werent on my keyboard for instance Æ is a damn cool letter but you dont see us using that do you now and to get to it is harder than hell you have to hold down alt and type zero one nine eight thats certainly more difficult than just typing one key and you damn well know that if ancient greeks were alive theyd be really pissed they didnt have that letter whatever the hell it is but theyd certainly be angry they couldnt spell things like Ægypt and whatnot actually i think i fucked up because that letter i believe is actually capitalized and there is a lower case version of it but really i dont want to try to find it right now anyway if anyone actually reads this whole thing theyll probably be amazed at how complex everything is in my head but thats mostley due to the blunt force trama thats been going on up in hizzere
__________________
the light that burns twice as bright
burns half as long

and you have burned so very, very brightly
YzermanS19 is offline  
Old 07-14-2003, 09:28 PM   #40 (permalink)
Zeroed In
 
hambone's Avatar
 
Location: CA
You ready for this.......Strawberry waffles!
__________________
"Like liquid white from fallen glass,
Nothing to cry over"
hambone is offline  
 

Tags
bullshit, nsfw, random, sorta, thread, totally

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 09:30 PM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360