Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Chatter > Tilted Fun Zone


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 04-11-2008, 03:32 AM   #1 (permalink)
Upright
 
sitardude2000's Avatar
 
Location: Belmont, NC
U Damn Write!

Inspired by "The Extemporaneous Story" its time to start another ongoing story. Same idea...An opening sentence or paragraph to begin the story and anyone and everyone can post to it to build a story. You can be serious or not, but stupid seems to be more fun.
sitardude2000 is offline  
Old 04-11-2008, 02:38 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
ring's Avatar
 
Location: ❤
Stepping over the detritus,
She fumbled for the lightswitch.
ring is offline  
Old 04-11-2008, 02:49 PM   #3 (permalink)
Upright
 
sitardude2000's Avatar
 
Location: Belmont, NC
And the light revealed a truth...that housekeeping was not a forte' of hers. But she had other strengths...
sitardude2000 is offline  
Old 04-11-2008, 06:32 PM   #4 (permalink)
Fly
see the links to my music?
 
Fly's Avatar
 
Location: Beautiful British Columbia
she could suck a golfball through a garden house..........


talent indeed.
__________________
BASTARD

SterlingStudios

Last edited by Fly; 05-02-2008 at 03:51 AM..
Fly is offline  
Old 04-11-2008, 07:37 PM   #5 (permalink)
Upright
 
sitardude2000's Avatar
 
Location: Belmont, NC
She had the gift of gratitude. Grateful for her literate existence. That she could spell and use nouns and verbs correctly. That her drug and alcohol life was behind her. Grateful that she wasn't Canadian.
sitardude2000 is offline  
Old 04-12-2008, 04:32 PM   #6 (permalink)
Upright
 
jlanez's Avatar
 
Location: Coastal South Carolina
As she twisted the light switch, stumbling over the poor, dispossessed souls that lay strewn at her feet, she felt the weight of her hypocrisy. Although she was living a life of altruism and self-sacrifice, she was all too aware of her critical nature and the way that she denigrated people with her thoughts. Sometimes she felt like she was about to explode, as she obsessively mended the down-trodden. For, in her heart and mind she hated them and found herself irritated and repulsed by their petty weaknesses.

Last edited by jlanez; 04-12-2008 at 07:31 PM..
jlanez is offline  
Old 04-12-2008, 07:55 PM   #7 (permalink)
Upright
 
sitardude2000's Avatar
 
Location: Belmont, NC
But she could fly. And nobody could take that away from her. Just levitate and speed off, still standing, like a wind surfer. Like her thoughts. Like her desires. Like her baby turtles.
sitardude2000 is offline  
Old 04-13-2008, 06:49 AM   #8 (permalink)
Minion of the scaléd ones
 
Tophat665's Avatar
 
Location: Northeast Jesusland
Like her desire for baby turtles. Girls like that are mad for turtle meat.
__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
Tophat665 is offline  
Old 04-13-2008, 11:08 AM   #9 (permalink)
Upright
 
sitardude2000's Avatar
 
Location: Belmont, NC
The wind was her.
sitardude2000 is offline  
Old 04-13-2008, 08:10 PM   #10 (permalink)
Upright
 
jlanez's Avatar
 
Location: Coastal South Carolina
And because of her years of contact with baby turtles, Sally was the most virile vector of salmonella that the world had ever known. Paradoxically, she could only find meaning in her life when she was tenderly helping the people she despised. However, in doing so she invariably innoculated them with the bacteria that she had grown immune to, so long ago.
jlanez is offline  
Old 04-14-2008, 07:01 PM   #11 (permalink)
Upright
 
sitardude2000's Avatar
 
Location: Belmont, NC
Her tender loving nature was to the point of obsession. She belonged to a group more sensitive than PETA...And she daily had to endure the taunts of "Bacteria Hugger!" from friends and family...
sitardude2000 is offline  
Old 04-15-2008, 02:32 PM   #12 (permalink)
 
ring's Avatar
 
Location: ❤
All it took was one swell foop..a sideways motion of the hand and neck..
to send the stereo-types on their way.....
....to shrug the last of the contagions..
off her shoulders..

" no longer shall I have to be holden to others and their constrictures..
I am the salt that floats and the salt that stings."

"can someone tell me what I mean by that?..I feel a tad..
waterlogged..at the moment...hmmmm..maybe if I tip my head to the
side...oh..my that tickles...my ear...."

Last edited by ring; 04-15-2008 at 02:51 PM.. Reason: swivel
ring is offline  
Old 04-16-2008, 03:05 AM   #13 (permalink)
Upright
 
sitardude2000's Avatar
 
Location: Belmont, NC
The twin tailed siren walked with earth legs to the ocean, the wind gently caressing her long wavy locks. As she slowly viewed the earth surroundings she had no regret leaving. This world was foreign and inexplicable. That they would take her image and make it a symbol for overpriced caffeine products was only one of many contempts she bore. She walked into the abyss...
sitardude2000 is offline  
Old 04-17-2008, 11:42 AM   #14 (permalink)
 
ring's Avatar
 
Location: ❤
The water beckoned; the joy of effortless buoyancy, as she slipped
beneath the surface, brought forth the gift of tears she could not produce
on dry land.
A present returned, a present given.
She pondered,
" It has been many cycles of suns,will I find the place, I have only the faintest memory of ?"

"For now I shall simply swim," she declared,
"The guides will appear, I shall fear not."

With a graceful, forceful thrust, she dove deeper.
ring is offline  
Old 04-17-2008, 07:27 PM   #15 (permalink)
Upright
 
sitardude2000's Avatar
 
Location: Belmont, NC
Transformation. Breathing water again. Long strides brought her quickly to twenty knots. Two sentinels caught up and escorted her on either side. The manatees looked at her and each other as if to smile. She was laughing and cheering for joy. This was the real world. Mercy and justice were married. Their children were the mysteries of the deep...
sitardude2000 is offline  
Old 04-19-2008, 07:06 PM   #16 (permalink)
Upright
 
jlanez's Avatar
 
Location: Coastal South Carolina
She closed her eyes and plunged forward. Open, receptive gills took in the torrents that washed away the tears and the pain that she had felt on earth. She was free.

Along the edges of her euphoria, however, a change had taken place. For a moment, she ignored the warning and held herself in the sweetness of the moment. When she opened her eyes, she discovered that the sea had darkened and had grown much colder. She glanced at her sentinels and she was horrified with what she saw. The manatees were gone and in their place were two steely-eyed barracudas.
jlanez is offline  
Old 04-21-2008, 03:23 AM   #17 (permalink)
Upright
 
sitardude2000's Avatar
 
Location: Belmont, NC
She shot to forty knots and entered the portal of a sunken ship with the accuracy of a laser beam. The barracudas crashed nose first on either side of the window.
sitardude2000 is offline  
Old 04-23-2008, 03:17 AM   #18 (permalink)
Upright
 
jlanez's Avatar
 
Location: Coastal South Carolina
She quickly barred the portal and as she peered out into the sea, there were no signs of the barracudas. She was relieved, but too suspicious to venture out again. To gather her thoughts, she decided to rummage through the wreckage to try and discover where she was.
jlanez is offline  
Old 04-23-2008, 03:48 AM   #19 (permalink)
 
ring's Avatar
 
Location: ❤
She quickly located the galley.
Rummaging for something tasty to snack on, she spied her favorite delicacy;
Pomegranate Fig Newtons, aged to perfection, and pleasantly soggy.

Her hunger satisfied, she had energy to further explore the ship.
ring is offline  
Old 04-23-2008, 06:57 PM   #20 (permalink)
Upright
 
sitardude2000's Avatar
 
Location: Belmont, NC
Denizens of the deep had expressed themselves with graffiti on the walls. "Geraldo Sucks!" and "I Got Your Treasure Right Here Baby!" were a couple of the unoriginal entries...
sitardude2000 is offline  
Old 04-26-2008, 07:25 AM   #21 (permalink)
Upright
 
jlanez's Avatar
 
Location: Coastal South Carolina
...there was "Don't go in the head, something died in there!" and "Kilroy was here." But she had no idea what that meant. As she perused the walls, she heard a whimper from another part of the ship. She peered through the cracks of a small cabin. Inside, huddled in one corner were several shivering youths who looked like poor urchins straight out of a Dickens novel. Sea urchins, of course. They were poor and wretched and hungry. They had sooty faces and tattered clothes and even their names were quite Dickensian. Names like .....
jlanez is offline  
Old 04-26-2008, 10:25 AM   #22 (permalink)
Upright
 
sitardude2000's Avatar
 
Location: Belmont, NC
Timmy...and Marquis St. Evremonde, which was an unusually cruel name to give a kid. His parents were alcoholics. There was a sooty faced girl amongst the lot. She was one of many sea whores. She couldn't remember her own name but said that it rhymed with a part of the male anatomy. Starbuck the siren could only guess..."Venus"?..."Pock"?..."Flick"?..."Grotum"?..."Zeener"?...
sitardude2000 is offline  
Old 04-28-2008, 03:05 AM   #23 (permalink)
Upright
 
jlanez's Avatar
 
Location: Coastal South Carolina
After much guessing, the girl finally remembered.

"Tool!" she exclaimed.

The siren was puzzled. "You're name is tool?" she asked.

"No, mum," she replied "Me name. It rhymes with a word that is suggestive of a word that is suggestive of a part of the male anatomy, not directly as I thought."

"So what is your name," asked the siren.

"Cratchet, Bob Cratchet," replied the girl.

Last edited by jlanez; 04-28-2008 at 06:29 PM..
jlanez is offline  
Old 04-30-2008, 06:39 PM   #24 (permalink)
Upright
 
sitardude2000's Avatar
 
Location: Belmont, NC
Starbuck doled out Pomegranate Fig Newtons to the motley crew. The children slammed the cookies into their faces. She beckoned them to the galley to look for more food. A man was in the galley and fear swept over the siren and the children...
sitardude2000 is offline  
Old 05-03-2008, 08:55 AM   #25 (permalink)
Upright
 
jlanez's Avatar
 
Location: Coastal South Carolina
Motionless, they stood transfixed by the sight of him. Although they had never seen him, they knew in an instant that it was him, the one responsible for their plight; the one who had turned the children into drifting vagabonds; the one who had forced Starbucks into exile while he transformed their sacred city into an unimaginable abomination.
jlanez is offline  
Old 05-05-2008, 06:47 PM   #26 (permalink)
Upright
 
sitardude2000's Avatar
 
Location: Belmont, NC
Aqualung! So...he wasn't a myth after all. Just keeping bad company as usual. Underwater Donald Trump and AquaRush Limbaugh stepped out of the shadows as well as Buoy George and his new band, "Sea Men".
sitardude2000 is offline  
Old 05-06-2008, 07:35 PM   #27 (permalink)
Upright
 
jlanez's Avatar
 
Location: Coastal South Carolina
With "snot running down his nose," and "greasy fingers smearing shabby clothes," Aqualung leered at the children, "with bad intent."

Starbucks gathered the children together and cried out, "What are you doing here?"
jlanez is offline  
Old 05-08-2008, 03:26 AM   #28 (permalink)
Upright
 
sitardude2000's Avatar
 
Location: Belmont, NC
"Spitting out pieces of my broken luck", said Ack, with deep sea diving sounds. "And learning the "Hokey Pokey."
sitardude2000 is offline  
Old 05-08-2008, 11:48 AM   #29 (permalink)
Upright
 
jlanez's Avatar
 
Location: Coastal South Carolina
Aqualung put his left foot in and took his left foot out. He was about to put his left foot in again and shake it all about when he was interrupted by AquaRush Limbaugh, who insisted that he lead from the right, in all matters. A bitter, pointless argument about left and right ensued as Buoy and the Sea Men played "Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?" With Aqua's Lung and Rush distracted, The Donald acted quickly and whisked Starbucks and the urchins out of the ship and into a submersible Limo that was waiting outside. They sped away into the deep.
jlanez is offline  
Old 05-09-2008, 03:32 AM   #30 (permalink)
Upright
 
sitardude2000's Avatar
 
Location: Belmont, NC
The urchins were now fed and felt safe. One of them pulled his T-shirt over his head with his face showing and chanted "Sea Hunt, Sea Hunt".
sitardude2000 is offline  
Old 05-10-2008, 06:29 AM   #31 (permalink)
Upright
 
jlanez's Avatar
 
Location: Coastal South Carolina
The others ignored his silly antics and sat quietly as the Sub-Limo pushed farther into the darkness. Up ahead, a ray of light shone around the end of a coral reef. As the Sub-Limo entered the light and turned the corner of the reef, Starbucks' eyes widened. She couldn't believe what she was seeing.
jlanez is offline  
Old 05-13-2008, 03:36 AM   #32 (permalink)
Upright
 
sitardude2000's Avatar
 
Location: Belmont, NC
Two large mounds rose up from the sea floor. Little boys with gills were climbing on them, rolling down them, laughing and playing. It was some kind of underwater shrine. Yes, it was a shrine...to Linda Hix's boobs...
sitardude2000 is offline  
Old 05-14-2008, 03:12 AM   #33 (permalink)
Upright
 
jlanez's Avatar
 
Location: Coastal South Carolina
Starbucks looked at the Donald, who had an odd smile on his face.

"What is this?" she asked, "And who is Linda Hix?"

Trump explained, "I was 14 years old. She was 18, and I couldn't take my eyes off her."

"She must have been beautiful," Starbucks asked.

"No not really," said Trump, "She just had the biggest boobs I had ever seen. I swore one day I would build a shrine to them."

"That's disgusting," replied Starbucks.

Trump reacted angrily, "No, it's not disgusting. It's good. You're fired!"

Starbucks protested, "You can't fire me!
jlanez is offline  
Old 05-20-2008, 07:14 PM   #34 (permalink)
Upright
 
sitardude2000's Avatar
 
Location: Belmont, NC
AquaTrump just shrugged and swam toward the monuments, shedding his clothes as he gloried in them, making sand angels and laughing at the top of his aqualungs. As Starbuck looked beyond the shrine, she discovered it was only the entrance to a vast underwater theme park...
sitardude2000 is offline  
Old 05-22-2008, 09:07 PM   #35 (permalink)
Upright
 
jlanez's Avatar
 
Location: Coastal South Carolina
The park was like other such parks, except that the theme was sex. At the entrance was the Vagina Monorail. Beyond that lay a plethora of sex-themed rides and attractions that Starbucks found both appalling and amusing.
jlanez is offline  
Old 05-23-2008, 07:31 PM   #36 (permalink)
Upright
 
sitardude2000's Avatar
 
Location: Belmont, NC
The queues were always long at the Orgasmatrons. Lined up like a bank of Porta-Johns, they were very popular at a quarter a pop. Plans were in the making to move them near the exit of the park as, the men especially, would lose interest in seeing the rest of the park and wanted to go outside for a smoke. The women seemed to only want to be held which was not good for the park either.
sitardude2000 is offline  
Old 05-28-2008, 06:16 PM   #37 (permalink)
Upright
 
jlanez's Avatar
 
Location: Coastal South Carolina
Starbucks' amusement was short-lived, however, and her mirth soon turned to disgust. She wasn't disgusted with the sexual nature of things, but more by how cheesy everything was. After all, it doesn't take a genius to sexualize a theme park, with all of the plunging log flumes and roller coasters that disappear into deep, dark places. And Trump was certainly no genius. She had to get out of there, so she started to swim ....
jlanez is offline  
Old 06-03-2008, 04:00 AM   #38 (permalink)
Upright
 
sitardude2000's Avatar
 
Location: Belmont, NC
Again, it wasn't that sex turned her off. It was just that she was fish from the waist down. All she had heard about mer-sex was that the female "poops" out some eggs and the merman "comes" along and spews sperm over them. Whoop-de-doo. Also, she wondered about mermen. She knew there were "fish sticks" but did they have "fish dicks"?
sitardude2000 is offline  
Old 06-06-2008, 03:29 AM   #39 (permalink)
Upright
 
jlanez's Avatar
 
Location: Coastal South Carolina
Starbucks was determined to find out, so she set out to find a mer-man and look at his junk. Finding a mer-man wasn't as easy as it seemed, however. For reasons unknown to Starbucks, the mer-man population had dwindled over the years. Now that she was back at home and not pushing coffee, it seemed that the numbers were even lower than before.
jlanez is offline  
Old 06-07-2008, 07:32 AM   #40 (permalink)
Upright
 
sitardude2000's Avatar
 
Location: Belmont, NC
She came upon a field of multicolored sea anemones. They were so beautiful. In the sea world, anemones were well loved creatures. Anyone who didn't like them was considered an enemy of anemones. Those who didn't like them but wanted to change usually joined "AAA". "An enemy of Anenomes Anonymous".
sitardude2000 is offline  
 

Tags
damn, write

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 04:25 PM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360