If your brain were to be transplanted into a bird, it'd fly backwards.

I am weary and wary of having to insult anyone any more.

maybe I will keep it beezin in my mind from now on, and not have to vocalize it.

I am drunk on insomnia so do not pay any attention to my ramblings.

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
- Woody Allen

My favorites are: "Do they have a name for what's wrong with you?"
and
"You ignorant cuss!"