bernadette

critiques/comments/suggestions welcomed!

he runs a framing shop & gallery in the palm springs area (largely a gay community). he likes the color red.

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/1003/m0us33/digital/ngl_idea6.jpg">

__________________
.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

bernadette

he won't be taking it to his printer until tuesday, so i have some time to adjust if need be.

__________________
.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

gallopingwanker

all the type is the same size, i'd use different variations, i probably wouldn't go above 8-9 pt.

bernadette

thanks for the comment, galloping. you're one of the ones i'd hope would respond. i'm looking for nancy here, too.

i assume of course you mean the bottom type... why would you vary the size there?
it's just information text... i varied color & weight to make things stand apart....
curious to hear why you think i should vary pt size.

__________________
.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

gallopingwanker

i would make the name a tad bit bigger than the address..the plaza and parking part is grey, so that sends to the back anways..and the phone fax and email shouldn't be the same size as the name and address...

when type is all the same size, you get lost in it, as do i in the bottom text, so, you don't want it to stand out to take away from the gallery part up top, you just need some sort of visual direction to read the bottom part

bernadette

i got some other comments from another msg board & this is the direction one person sent me...
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/1003/m0us33/digital/nlg_idea7.gif">

i do think my version in the first post may be too busy.
this might be cleaner & more straight forward... ?

__________________
.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

bernadette

and another...

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/1003/m0us33/digital/ngl_idea8.gif">

__________________
.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

Charlatan

The other think you might try:

1) try all but his name in lowercase
2) use small caps...
3) why drop parking in rear? if it's important info, why not leave it.
4) I liked the red lettering and the grayscale watermark on the first. It created some texture to the card. I am the first to argue for simplicity in design but the card needs to say something about both him and his business.
5) you could also just put P, F and E for PHONE, FAX and EMAIL... uses less space
6) does he have a website? does he want it on the card? If he can afford it, it can look nice on the back... you might also consider printing the back in the same red as the red font on the front.

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Rdr4evr

good to see you back

gallopingwanker

yea, i'd definitely put the color back into it, it's too boring now...i'd still maybe take into suggestion about what i said about the type...or at least, the phone, fax, etc...just try it, and lets see it.....

and thanks, Rdr4evr, i'm back!!! it's good to be back!

bernadette

and yeah... more variations on a theme... a theme i seem to suck at!

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/1003/m0us33/digital/ngl_morebcideas.gif">

__________________
.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

gallopingwanker

the top right is the strongest

little_tippler

I don't like the caps on the guy's name on the 1st one, somehow, it seems messy, all up and down. I like the bottom left option best out of your last attempt. It's cleaner, and the black band gives it strength.

__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

Charlatan

Of the selections, I like the bottom right one best.

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

bernadette

ok. i think i am done, unless when i show my friend tomorrow & find out that he totally hates it.

yeah. it's a bit cut & dry. but the information is easy to read. and that's main point behind a business card, right?

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/1003/m0us33/digital/nlg_bizcard2b.gif">

thank you for looking & for all of your comments.

__________________
.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

gallopingwanker

The top one is now too unified, i'd go with the one you did before where it was off center to the left

Charlatan

Definately go with the off centre version... again, I liked the watermark NLG... However, if you are going to get rid of it, I'd go with the address and numbers in the black box...

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Fly

i dig the top right one in the first set of four you posted bern........and another chime for off center as well.

nice work

__________________
BASTARD

SterlingStudios

bernadette

thanks, guys. <3

i know. it's all so subjective. the more input i received, the more confused i became.

but i have some online friends who actually do this shizzle for a living & they've helped me to hone it to what i last posted. specific kerning, the layout, the less is more aspect, just getting the required information conveyed in a clear easy to read manner. i have learned a lot working on this card.

even as it is, some people think i should alter it yet. i am using 3 fonts & those couple of people think i should only use 2 fonts, which i know is a basic thumb of rule... but being that the logo is of a typeface nature, the third font is a bit forgiven. i guess.

i am glad though that i have asked for help.
actually, i am now embarrassed by the first card i posted. cuz i understand why it is so wrong in many ways.

gotta love making good contacts on the internet!
y'all rock!!! <3

__________________
.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.