jRuntlets

Hey everyone!
I've run into something a rather good bit lately. Maybe it's men (if you can call it that) in my age demographic, or just men in general. I'm 20, in college, 5'8", Dark Brunette, and pale by choice. In talking to quite a few men I know they a. are offended that I seem to attract men of latino dissent (I'm germanic/middle eastern- and have no problem dating guys from ANY race). b. seem to think that if I dyed my hair blond and got a tan this would change, this being said by men who are of Germanic or any lighter skinned/hair dissent.

It offends me that I have been told on a regular basis over the years, since I was about 14, that I should dye my hair blond and get a tan. In my opinion this is as offensive as telling me to get a breast enlargement. Has anyone else had this issue? It seems that men of the lighter skin/hair/eye color range generally want women of the same, even if it's fake. It ticks me off. I'm proud of my dark hair and it makes me feel beautiful. I don't tan because I'm allergic to fake tanner and I refuse to give myself skin cancer for vanity.

Just like to know your thoughts.

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Horses come and go, but some leave permanent hoof prints on your life.

Grasshopper Green

I think alot of this is media influence. Many actresses/celebrities have dark skin, whether by tanning or naturally, and I think this has rubbed off onto both men AND women as being normal and beautiful. How I wish pale skin was in vogue again. I used to be dark skinned, as I am part Cherokee, but my skin has lightened over the years and now I'm pretty much white. I don't fake tan, and I don't use bronzer. I also have dark hair and dark eyes and would look ridiculous as a blonde....if I ever considered it. I like my hair dark, and I tend to think that dark haired men AND women are more attractive...but that's just me. Besides, how boring would it be if everyone looked the same?

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"They say that patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings; steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king"

Formerly Medusa

hunnychile

I bet that you are quite beautiful - just the way you are now! Correct, huh?

Screw the guys who say you should become a "tanned (i.e. orange), bottle blond"!
It's so boring seeing so many women fall under the media spell that they believe they need to look like a damn Britney Spears replicate or Paris Hilton or Hillary Duff or whomever is the token, fake Hollywood blonde of the day.

I'm of Germanic/Scottish descent and my Danish Germanic hubby thinks I'm perfectly gorgeous. Us Scots don't ever really tan, we freckle...& some guys go wild over us freckeled lasses! And BTW screw the whole skin cancer thing. Beauty is being who You truly Are.

Remember: timing is everything! The right guy will notice how fabu you are and let you know...

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"I need compassion, understanding and chocolate." - NJB

onodrim

I've been pale my whole life and never cared one bit about it. I've had friends who want me to go tanning with them and I just don't see the point. If someone wants to be with you, they'd want to be with *you,* not an overprocessed version.

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"The world is so exquisite with so much love and moral depth, that there is no reason to deceive ourselves with pretty stories for which there’s little good evidence. Far better it seems to me, in our vulnerability, is to look death in the eye and to be grateful every day for the brief but magnificent opportunity that life provides"
-Carl Sagan

Gilda

A lot of guys are attracted to us pale-skinned, dark-haired ladies. It's just a matter of trusting that you look good just the way you are, and that if a guy doesn't like you for your skin or hair color, that's his problem.

Gilda

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I'm against ending blackness. I believe that everyone has a right to be black, it's a choice, and I support that.

~Steven Colbert

snowy

I'm also pale-skinned and dark-haired. I've never been told I needed lighter hair or darker skin. Personally, I like to stay as light as possible. It'll be better for me in the long run. Some celebs also take this route--Nicole Kidman, whose skin I've always admired, is incredibly pale and gorgeous.

Really, if someone told me how I should look--this applies to my weight as well--I'd tell them to take a long walk off of a short pier. I like myself just the way I am.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

settie

I was born with blonde hair, and had it till I was about 12, then my hair started to darken. My mom flipped out and for the next few years I had highlights done to keep my hair looking blonde. Heck, I need contacts and my mom insisted that they be blue! (cause my eyes were blue when I was born) I also was a little tanned, but more like healthy glow tan than anything. Well I really learned to hate that, and now I'm the opposite: pale skin, light brown hair with red highlights, and green eyes. :P The only person who ever said they liked the way I looked before was my mom, go figure.

genuinegirly

I haven't run into anyone that has told me outright to get a tan or die my hair. I'm 22, dark brown hair with pale skin and blue eyes. Also haven't had much of a problem attracting men of any descent. I've dated anglos, dark portuguese, carribean, and one half-latino...
I'd probably go ballistic if anyone told me to get a tan or dye my hair. Bleh. Good luck with it.

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"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

Mugzy6

Most of my white boy friends actually prefer brunettes. I can totally see where the tan thing comes in though. Some guys just don't like paleness.

wikkachik

your damn right that you don't have to change just for them. if they want you to look a certain way, then i say that they're not worth it anyway. i have very pale skin too, but as of lately people have been complimenting me on my *beautiful* skin, because now all those fake tan girls are starting to see the effects of all those rays for the long term... besides, dark is sexy

Lead543

Someone told me once I'd look healthier with a tan and should visit the beds.

Because nothing is healthier and more beautiful than premature aging and skin cancer... yuuum.

I saw a girl the other day who had long blonde hair and orange skin, she fit all the individual "ideals" we place on beauty, but all together it looked scary... and fake... because she was fake, right down to the color of her skin.

And ... if someone is offended about the way a guy that's attracted to you looks, it's probably because they themselves are attracted to you.

Pip

Pale brunette here too! (Lots of us around it seems!) I've never been told to bleach my hair, which is kind of odd since I live in the land of blonde, but I've often been told I should "get out in the sun" and "get some colour". It pisses me off to no end. It's like they question my sanity when they tell me what to do with my own precious body.

I laugh at these fools everytime someone compliments me on my incredibly soft skin.

Rubyee

Well, I blame Hugh Heffner for the blonde fetish thing.

As for being pale- I agree with you. I am very pale and proud of it. Nothing seems stupider to me than risking skin cancer to look tan. All I need is a little blush and I look fine. Sure, my legs may look pasty in a pair of short shorts, but thirty years from now, I will have no wrinkles or sun-spots and won't have to worry about cancer.

I tried blonde once on accident, and it just does not go well on some girls, like me.

I think that the blonde/tan thing is a reflection on the maturity level of men. Some men will only date tan blondes, some are attracted to them but will date others, some are attracted to the woman underneath the hair and the skin. I just wish that men came with labels on the outside of their shirts that noted their maturity level.

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