Thoughts on being called "hon" - Page 2 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

raeanna74 · 07-19-2005, 05:40 PM

None of these terms offend me when in their neutral uses. When are used in a condescending way it's not so much the term as the assumption of intimate knowledge of me and my abilities. Occaisionally it bothers me if someone uses it very often when I have just barely met them. I think any kind of uncommon term that is used frequently by a person can get annoying. I used to say "ya know what I mean" after every sentence. It took forever for me to break that habit.

I think most of the time the terms are used out of habit and not intentionally to offend. Sometimes I find myself turning to "hon" when someone that I'm dealing with is angry. I think, in my mind, it makes them less threatening. Dunno if that's part of the reason it would offend others. Maybe.

Sugarmouse · 07-22-2005, 03:51 PM

i dont mind it..unless theyre doin it to be deliberatly derogatory..if they dont know me and call me it they re makin assumptions and thats innocent.if they do know me..theni take it as a comliment that they see that side of me

Acetylene · 07-25-2005, 08:16 AM

My father only calls someone Hon or Honey when he's mad at them, so I generally feel uncomfortable about being called a hon after 20 years of conditioning to expect a tirade to follow.

Elusive Dreamer · 07-25-2005, 03:04 PM

My boyfriend calls my mother, 'hon'. He doesn't 'know' her that well but then again, he calls, almost every girl/woman/lady 'hon'. I think it's the southern gentleman inside of him. I'm not sure if my mother thinks it's 'disrespectful' -- she's never said anything to me about it; i don't know if she even noticed it though! I don't like that he calls girls/women our age, 'hon' because it sort of does imply a little flirtation; however, he calls me other names that he doesn't call the general female public, so i'm getting used to that.
I don't think women get offended at the fact that he does sometimes slip in the word, 'hon' when saying goodbye or thank you. BUT! my best friend who's a raging feminist, HATES and calls out guys that call her: hon, or baby, or whatever. She's a little nuts though.
I can deal with hon. If they don't know me, they're just probably being 'friendly'/'nice'. Baby, is a little more personal and i would be offended. Ms. Miss or Mrs. I'm not married, so strangers do call me Miss randomly. Otherwise, I'm not into formality.

07-19-2005, 05:40 PM	#41 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	None of these terms offend me when in their neutral uses. When are used in a condescending way it's not so much the term as the assumption of intimate knowledge of me and my abilities. Occaisionally it bothers me if someone uses it very often when I have just barely met them. I think any kind of uncommon term that is used frequently by a person can get annoying. I used to say "ya know what I mean" after every sentence. It took forever for me to break that habit. I think most of the time the terms are used out of habit and not intentionally to offend. Sometimes I find myself turning to "hon" when someone that I'm dealing with is angry. I think, in my mind, it makes them less threatening. Dunno if that's part of the reason it would offend others. Maybe. __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

07-22-2005, 03:51 PM	#42 (permalink)
Sugarmouse Insane Location: Preston lancs(i know i know)	i dont mind it..unless theyre doin it to be deliberatly derogatory..if they dont know me and call me it they re makin assumptions and thats innocent.if they do know me..theni take it as a comliment that they see that side of me __________________ Sugarmouse=Festered

07-25-2005, 08:16 AM	#43 (permalink)
Acetylene Addict Location: under a rock	My father only calls someone Hon or Honey when he's mad at them, so I generally feel uncomfortable about being called a hon after 20 years of conditioning to expect a tirade to follow. __________________ There's no justice. There's just us.

07-25-2005, 03:04 PM	#44 (permalink)
Elusive Dreamer Upright Location: chicago	My boyfriend calls my mother, 'hon'. He doesn't 'know' her that well but then again, he calls, almost every girl/woman/lady 'hon'. I think it's the southern gentleman inside of him. I'm not sure if my mother thinks it's 'disrespectful' -- she's never said anything to me about it; i don't know if she even noticed it though! I don't like that he calls girls/women our age, 'hon' because it sort of does imply a little flirtation; however, he calls me other names that he doesn't call the general female public, so i'm getting used to that. I don't think women get offended at the fact that he does sometimes slip in the word, 'hon' when saying goodbye or thank you. BUT! my best friend who's a raging feminist, HATES and calls out guys that call her: hon, or baby, or whatever. She's a little nuts though. I can deal with hon. If they don't know me, they're just probably being 'friendly'/'nice'. Baby, is a little more personal and i would be offended. Ms. Miss or Mrs. I'm not married, so strangers do call me Miss randomly. Otherwise, I'm not into formality. __________________ I am Everything. I am Nothing.